Li Daoxuan's dinner that night was a dry-pot chicken gizzard set, costing sixty-eight silver coins. Ever since he made a bit of money selling micro-carvings and recording videos, his takeout had upgraded from cheap lunch boxes to actual hard dishes.
He munched on gizzards while watching Cheng Xu train the militia. Quite entertaining, honestly.
A hundred tiny figures stood in formation, two meters apart, arranged in a huge square.
Cheng Xu shouted, "Punch!"
All one hundred stepped forward in unison, thrusting a fist out and barking a sharp "Hah!"
"Kick!"
One hundred legs shot high in perfect synchronization.
Cheng Xu nodded with satisfaction. These troops were worlds better than his old squad of former soldiers. Those old idiots would collapse whenever training was mentioned—complaining about unpaid wages, no food, no strength, no motivation.
Classic late-Ming professionalism: if the pay didn't arrive, neither did the discipline.
But the Gaojia Village militia ate well, were paid well, and leapt at orders like chickens hearing a grain basket open.
Not a single one dared slack.
"With troops like this," Cheng Xu muttered, "if I meet Buzhanni or Zuoguazi again, I won't need any divine intervention. I'll just smash them head-on."
As he was enjoying this fantasy of glorious revenge, a crowd approached—led by Flat-Rabbit.
The moment Flat-Rabbit saw Cheng Xu, he flinched like a rat spotting a cat. But he straightened up, puffed out his chest, and declared loudly:
"Coach He! I… I've come to join the group!"
Cheng Xu glared.
"Join the group? Wrong term again. Get lost."
Flat-Rabbit panicked.
"I was wrong! I was wrong! Coach He, give me a chance! I sincerely want to join the militia!"
"You gonna pull your Tian-Rabbit-Cut-Domination-Sword stunt again?"
Flat-Rabbit shook his head vigorously.
"No! You got it wrong again! It's the Tian-Rabbit-Dominating-Break-Sword!"
Cheng Xu's forehead throbbed.
He clenched his fist.
"If you don't leave, I'll beat you so hard you won't get up for three days."
Flat-Rabbit yelped. "No, no, no! Look, these guys behind me—these are the most honest Short-Workers in the whole Short-Worker Village! They came to vouch for me!"
The men behind him all said, in unison:
"Coach He, Rabbit-Lord is… well… cough… but he's truly a good person."
Cheng Xu looked at the Short-Workers, then at Flat-Rabbit.
Their gazes met.
Flat-Rabbit collapsed to his knees with a thud.
"Master, take me in! I really want to learn martial arts! I want to make a name for myself!"
Cheng Xu sighed long and deep.
"Fine. Get up. Go stand at the back of the formation. Train with the rest."
Flat-Rabbit's eyes shone.
"Thank you, Master! I'm in! I finally made it in! Haha—"
"Call me Coach, not Master! And stop saying 'join the group.' What kind of back-alley jargon is that?!"
Li Daoxuan chuckled in secret.
This rabbit was terrifying in his own way—possibly worse than Gao Chuwu or Zheng Daniu. Those two idiots were stupid but obedient.
Flat-Rabbit was pure chaos.
Cheng Xu was going to have blue veins popping daily.
Just then, a procession appeared on the northeast cement road: a towering horse in the lead, followed by three to four dozen men carrying goods.
Xing Honglang had returned.
The villagers burst into excitement.
"The heroine is back! Quick, bring out everything valuable you've got!"
Gao Chuwu jolted upright.
"Ah! Ah! Miss Xing is here!"
Cheng Xu opened his mouth to scold him for losing focus—but then remembered something.
Dao Xuan Tianzun.
The deity loved gossip.
Last time Gao Chuwu and Xing Honglang fought, Tianzun personally descended to meddle.
Well then. Divine priority outranks training.
"Dismissed!" Cheng Xu shouted. "Half an hour of free time!"
The moment "dismissed" left his mouth, Gao Chuwu bolted toward Xing Honglang like an arrow.
Flat-Rabbit cried, "Eh? But I just got here! I didn't even learn one punch! Teach me two moves before dismissing! Two moves!"
No one paid attention to him.
Li Daoxuan praised Cheng Xu silently.
Good call.
Gao Chuwu's Love Story — Chapter Three — finally continued.
Gao Chuwu sprinted over, beaming.
"Miss Xing! You're back! I missed you so much!"
Xing Honglang's head throbbed instantly.
"Not now. I'm in a bad mood. Go bother someone else."
"That's fine! I'll bother you!"
Everyone collectively paused.
Li Daoxuan sucked in a breath.
Was this man actually a romantic genius disguised as an idiot?
If I had his courage, my high-school crush wouldn't have vanished after graduation, taking my tragic youth with her.
Gao Chuwu held up a massive chunk of chocolate.
"Miss Xing, I got another big chocolate piece! I want to challenge you again! Same rules as last time. If you win, you pay me. If I win, this chocolate is yours!"
Xing Honglang snorted.
"With your skill?"
"I lost last time, yes! But I've been training hard! I'm way stronger now! Third Master said I'm what you call 'today not… yesterday… something.'"
The crowd murmured:
"We're illiterate, but that definitely sounds wrong."
"Idiot!" Xing Honglang snapped. "It's 'now different from the past'!"
"That's not important!" Gao Chuwu said. "Let's fight!"
The villagers erupted:
"Fight! Fight! Fight!"
With no entertainment industry, the people of Gaojia Village were starved for amusement. Any drama instantly became a festival.
Xing Honglang's brows twitched slightly.
One of her men whispered behind her,
"Boss… you can't fight. Your hand…"
She shoved him aside.
"Fight! I'll make this idiot shut up once and for all!"
Gao Chuwu grinned.
"I'm totally giving you this chocolate today."
"And I'm definitely paying you today."
The crowd scattered back, opening a wide ring.
The leadership—Gao Yiye, Shansier, Cheng Xu, Tan Liwen, Mister Wang, Madam Bai, Bai Yan—sat down in the front row like attending a holiday gala.
Honestly, the New Year's Eve crowd wasn't half this excited.
Li Daoxuan looked around.
Everyone loved gossip this much?
Then a terrible realization hit him.
Entertainment.
Gaojia Village had no entertainment industry whatsoever.
Of course everyone latched onto gossip like drowning men grabbing driftwood.
In Civilization V terms:
A city without entertainment loses happiness, which crashes productivity and can even trigger riots.
And Gaojia Village was one unmonitored happiness bar away from chaos.