Xu Dafu rolled his eyes. "Slay gods and buddhas? Before spouting such arrogant nonsense, consider the actual divine power of the Tianzun."
Cheng Xu's expression froze in embarrassment.
Oh, crap!
That "slay gods and buddhas" thing was just an expression, something that slipped out in the heat of the moment. He'd forgotten that Gao Village actually had a real deity, unlike other places where gods were just empty boasts.
Cheng Xu quickly glanced at the sky. Right above him, about sixty or seventy zhang high (over 200 meters), hung a low-hanging cloud. That meant... the Tianzun was watching.
"Ah!" Cheng Xu let out a strange cry and immediately knelt. "Tianzun! This lowly one speaks carelessly! That wasn't what I meant!"
Li Daoxuan wasn't that petty. He chuckled, then took out an A4 sheet and unfurled it in the sky: "No matter. Prepare for battle. Real border troops are coming this time."
Cheng Xu's spirits lifted. The border troops are really coming?
He hurried to rally the militia for deployment.
Beside him, Xu Dafu also knelt with a thump and shouted at the sky, "Tianzun! This lowly one... was ordered by You to research percussion caps. But somehow, my research took a detour, and I inexplicably made a bomb you throw to blow people up. Please punish me."
He waited quietly for a reprimand, but instead saw another large sheet unfurl in the sky: "No punishment! Well done! A reward."
He was literate and could read it.
A silver sphere descended from the heavens, landing before him.
Xu Dafu stared. This... this... wasn't this the same kind of reward the three plasterers had received on the day he and the lamp-maker first arrived in Gao Village?
This was the so-called "Tianzun Special Award."
He had been utterly awestruck at the time!
He never imagined he'd be the one receiving it someday. Hahaha!
Xu Dafu nearly threw his head back and laughed, but his face suddenly darkened as if remembering something. He leaped to the roadside, grabbed a handful of grass and leaves, and covered the silver sphere. Glancing around and seeing no one nearby, he finally relaxed. "Whew! Wealth should not be exposed. If others knew I had this, what if they robbed me? Must be careful. Must be extremely careful. Don't get too cocky and get yourself killed over it." (The phrase "財不露白" - "cái bù lòu bái" - is a classic proverb about not flaunting wealth to avoid attracting trouble.)
Li Daoxuan: "..."
Xu Dafu then addressed the sky again. "Actually, this lowly one didn't just make one. This thing is quite easy to make. I made ten in one go, only brought one out for testing. Since the Tianzun finds it acceptable, I will hand over all of them to Instructor He for use against the border troops."
Li Daoxuan displayed a sheet: "Approved. Go quickly."
Xu Dafu ran back into the cave and soon emerged with a large cloth bag filled with dry straw. Nestled within the piles of straw were nine more of the black powder balls. He handed the whole bag to Cheng Xu. "Instructor He, count them. Nine in total. In this battle, you must hear nine explosions. If you hear fewer, find out who hid one and didn't throw it. You must recover it. This item cannot be privately hoarded by militia soldiers. The consequences would be extremely severe."
Cheng Xu took it, delighted. "So there are nine more! Heh heh heh. With these, I don't think we even need the Tianzun's direct help. We can make those border troops cry for their mothers all by ourselves."
Xu Dafu: "Hey, did you hear what I said? Don't just laugh. Remember, nine explosions. You must hear nine."
Cheng Xu: "Who the hell can count firecracker pops in the middle of a battle?"
The head of Gao Chuwu popped up beside them. "I can!"
Cheng Xu: "..."
Meanwhile, Li Daoxuan opened his usual history and military forum and posted anonymously: Hello everyone, it's me again. Still on the time-travel-to-the-Ming topic. If I've already created black powder satchel charges ignited by fuse, and want to turn them into more effective hand grenades, which type would be best?
Reply 1: How about a hand-thrown nuke? As long as you throw it far enough, you won't get blown up.
Reply 2: Bury the first commenter. I don't know much about this either. Would WWII-style stick grenades work? Any experts?
Reply 3: The technology in WWI/WWII grenades is extremely complex—springs, detonators, all sorts of chemical stuff. Trying to make that in the Ming Dynasty? Do you have a chemical plant? Stop daydreaming. Suggest not overcomplicating. Mix small steel pellets into your black powder, wrap the grenade body in thin sheet metal, add a wooden handle for better throwing distance, ignite with a fuse. That's it. Overthinking high-tech will prevent mass production.
He even attached a self-drawn diagram of a black powder grenade feasible in the Ming era.
Reply 4: Holy crap, what kind of expert is on the third floor? So badass.
Reply 5: Third floor makes a good point, but you can't stay primitive forever. If you get the chance, you should set up a chemical plant. History has to move forward.
Reply 6: Well said! Gotta get chemical industry going. With chemicals, you get black stockings. Get all the girls on the Qinhuai River to dance in black stockings...
The Crowd Roared: MODERATOR! That idiot is back!
Li Daoxuan joined in cursing the sixth commenter, thanked the third, downloaded the diagram, and printed a scaled-down version on a corner of a sheet of paper...
By this time, Xu Dafu had finished handing over the bombs to Cheng Xu. He turned to leave but had taken only two steps when a huge sheet of paper drifted down from the sky. On it was drawn a strange object, with a line of text beside it: "Hand Grenade."
"Huh?" Xu Dafu suddenly understood. This was the Tianzun's blueprint for a "celestial bomb"!
He whooshed forward, rolling up the paper at lightning speed. He glanced around furtively. "Phew, good, good. Only I saw it. If this blueprint were leaked, who knows what would happen to the world." (Like a game developer terrified of a game-breaking exploit getting out before patch day.)
Li Daoxuan smiled. This guy is as cautious and paranoid as ever. That's fine. It's best this grenade design doesn't fall into others' hands. If some random "wild小人" (NPC) learned it and used it against my own小人, I'd definitely rage quit.
Xu Dafu hid in the Ordnance Bureau, studied the diagram for a good while, then sneaked into the Artisans' District to find Gao Yiyi. "Master Artisan, by the Tianzun's command, I need some things made."
Gao Yiyi, hearing it was the Tianzun's order, immediately agreed. "Make what?"
Xu Dafu: "Small iron pellets. Tiny granules will do. And also... sheet metal casings like this."
He didn't show Gao Yiyi the Tianzun's diagram. Instead, he drew a grenade casing himself—only the outer iron shell, leaving out all internal components.
Gao Yiyi looked at it. "A thin-walled iron canister slightly smaller than a fist? What's this for? Holding water?"
Xu Dafu: "Can't tell you what it's for. Just know it's something the Tianzun wants."
Gao Yiyi was torn between laughter and tears. "Keeping secrets from me now? Fine, fine. We'll make it for you, alright?"
...
(Ming Context:) The private hoarding of military supplies by soldiers was a chronic, unsolvable problem throughout imperial history and persists even in modern armies. Soldiers would squirrel away ammunition, rations, or equipment for personal use, barter, or as a "pension," creating massive logistical headaches and potential security risks. Xu Dafu's paranoia about recovering all nine bombs is rooted in this very real historical issue.