The eight terrified men sprinted madly under the pressure of Li Daoxuan's colossal golden hand. No time to breathe, no time to think—just run.
Up ahead, a massive wooden structure loomed before them like a fortress from another world.
To Li Daoxuan, it was just a wooden box for his "Hamster Adventure" game.
To them? It was a castle built by giants.
They stared at it in awe—towering walls, a gaping wooden gate that seemed to touch the sky.
No sane man would step inside something so strange.
But when they looked back and saw that divine hand descending behind them, hesitation instantly became a luxury they couldn't afford.
"Go! Inside!"
They bolted through the giant doorway just as the thunderous palm slammed down behind them.
BOOM!
The shockwave nearly threw them off their feet. When they turned, they realized—thank the heavens—the massive door was too small for Dao Xuan Tianzun's giant hand to enter.
Cheers broke out. "We're safe!"
But their relief lasted exactly two seconds.
"Wait... there's no ceiling!"
Their faces went pale. If the sky was still open, that meant the divine hand could strike from above.
"Run! Forward!"
Lao Nanfeng led the charge, darting down a narrow corridor—only to freeze at the sight before him.
A gigantic axe hung in midair ahead, swaying from side to side in a deadly rhythm. Each swing whooshed past with a sound that could split mountains.
"Shit! Trap!" Lao Nanfeng shouted.
The others stumbled to a stop, staring wide-eyed at the deadly pendulum that blocked their way.
"What do we do?"
"Can't stop here—Tianzun will crush us!"
"Then... we run for it!"
Lao Nanfeng's eyes locked onto the rhythm. "Two heartbeats between each swing. Follow my lead!"
The massive blade whooshed past. He lunged forward and dashed through—its return swing slicing the air right behind his back.
He made it.
The others roared in triumph. "Nanfeng bro, wait for us!"
One after another, they timed the swings and darted through the death trap, hearts pounding, breaths ragged—but alive.
Just when they thought they were clear, the path dipped sharply downward.
"What now?"
They barely had time to ask before a deafening rumble echoed behind them. Turning around, they saw it—a massive black iron ball rolling straight at them like the wrath of heaven.
"Run!!!"
Eight men flew down the slope, legs burning, lungs screaming, chased by that unstoppable iron boulder until they dove into a side passage.
BOOM!
The ball crashed into the wall behind them. Dust filled the air.
Panting, they slumped to the ground.
One soldier croaked, "Boss... what kind of hellish place is this?"
Lao Nanfeng wiped his sweat. "No clue. But whatever it is, we move carefully. No more—"
Click.
The moment he spoke, the ground gave way beneath one of them. The man screamed as he fell into a pit—where a giant cockroach, eyes glowing red, crawled toward him with an electronic buzz.
The seven remaining men peered down.
"What in heaven's name—"
"Is that... a roach demon!?"
"Old Seven's done for..."
"Leave me!" shouted the fallen man. "Run! If you make it out, tell my son—"
His words ended in a shriek as the plastic cockroach bumped into him and he fainted dead away.
"Run!" Lao Nanfeng barked.
They kept going, eyes wide with terror.
The path split into three tunnels. "Which way!?"
They didn't know. One man tried the left path—only to vanish as the floor flipped and dropped him into a giant net. A monstrous spider model skittered toward him, fake eyes gleaming.
"Spider demon! Save yourselves!" he screamed.
The rest bolted down the right path—and finally found what seemed to be the way out.
But one unlucky soul stumbled into a pool of water. Relief turned to horror as a massive toy shark surfaced, jaws wide.
"AAAHHH!"
Lao Nanfeng's voice cracked. "What kind of cursed nightmare is this!? I've lost three brothers already!"
The remaining four hauled him forward. "Keep running, boss! If we stop, Tianzun will summon more monsters!"
As if the heavens heard, the ground ahead suddenly split open—two more men plunged into darkness, their screams fading into the abyss.
Now only three were left.
They leapt across the gap, burst through the final passage—and light greeted them.
Trees. Mountains. Fresh air.
They collapsed, gasping, half laughing, half crying.
Lao Nanfeng dropped to his knees. "If I'd known we'd lose five brothers today, I'd have stayed at the construction site digging mud. Anything's better than this cursed trial."
Before he could even catch his breath, a golden glow spread before him. Dao Xuan Tianzun's hand reappeared—not crushing, but calm.
In its palm lay his five missing brothers, unconscious but alive.
Li Daoxuan chuckled softly above. So much for his "Hamster Adventure." Out of eight, only three had made it to the end.
One small success, piled upon a mountain of fallen hamsters. Tragic. Poetic. Hilarious.
Lao Nanfeng fell to his knees again, forehead to the dirt. "Thank you, Tianzun, for sparing us! We'll return to labor—no more escapes, I swear it!"
Li Daoxuan, watching his tiny, trembling "contestants," couldn't help but grin. Divine justice… with a side of entertainment.
Ming Context:
Mechanical traps (機關 jīguān) were already used in Ming-era architecture and military training grounds, often as defensive illusions or automaton-based deterrents. Here, Li Daoxuan's divine simulation twists that tradition into a surreal "trial ground."
Trivia:
This whole "Hamster Adventure" setup cheekily mirrors video-game dungeon tropes—from Indiana Jones rolling boulders to Mario-style trap runs. Li Daoxuan basically invented a divine amusement park centuries before Disneyland.