Hello guys, this is my first BL book. I hope you like it…🩷
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Coach's shout snapped me back to reality. I quickly sat up from the grass I'd been lying on and hurried to the front of the line. The team was already lined up. I kept my head down, just waiting. My mind was a complete mess—I couldn't stop thinking about the news I'd seen that morning. Someone tugged on my arm and I turned my head. It was Efe.
"Dude, answer the coach," he said.
His reminder made me look up at the coach. He was staring right at me—clearly he'd asked something and was waiting for an answer.
"Where's your head at, captain? Answer me," he said.
How was I supposed to answer when I didn't even know what he'd asked?
"Coach… I didn't hear the question," I said.
He stepped closer and sighed.
"You must've seen the news."
He was talking about James.
"Yes, Coach. I saw it this morning," I said.
James Leo had transferred to Glacier Hawks. I couldn't understand why he'd come here. As I was thinking about that, Coach Ferit spoke again—his voice low but sharp:
"You two will be seeing each other a lot more now. I don't want this stupid rivalry anymore, Onur."
I looked him in the eyes and calmly replied,
"I don't compete with people like him."
Coach paused for a moment but didn't say anything. Even when practice started, my head was still filled with questions. James and I had never gotten along. We barely even talked. The guy was unbearable.
The first time we met flashed before my eyes. I'd just started hockey; he'd started two years before me. I was fifteen. On my very first time on the ice, James had blocked my way. He kept hitting me so hard throughout the game that I eventually snapped and confronted him.
"Why do you keep pushing me off the rink, James?" I'd shouted.
He gave me a condescending look.
"You're so scrawny. This is hockey—you need to be strong, rookie," he'd said.
Being called "rookie" made my blood boil. I jumped at him and we fought. From that day on, we never spoke again. Coach never wanted me anywhere near him. Sometimes our paths crossed, but he wouldn't even look at my face. In his eyes, I was always that rookie.
After practice, I rushed into the locker room and jumped into the shower. Under the water, only one thought filled my mind:
I never even did anything to him back then, so why did he hate me this much?
I pushed the thought aside, got dressed, and checked the work plan for tomorrow. Then I grabbed my bag and left the facility.
As I was walking, someone slapped my shoulder. I turned around to see Efe grinning.
"What's up with you? You seem dead today," he said.
I didn't want to answer and kept walking. He came up beside me.
"Let's stop by the market. We need to buy stuff for the house," he said.
I nodded. We lived in a house near the facility—me, Efe, and Serdar. We did our shopping at the market and walked home.
We entered the building and climbed to the second floor. The moment I opened the door, the heavy cigarette smell hit me.
"Damn it, didn't you guys open the windows?" I asked Efe.
He shook his head. I hurried to open the windows. Serdar wasn't around—probably with his girlfriend. We got to cleaning the place. If we didn't clean that house for two days, on the third day you'd think a corpse would show up—seriously.
When we finished cleaning, Efe went to the kitchen to cook dinner. I sat on the couch, playing on my phone. I opened Instagram and checked my messages. Then I thought, Let me check James's page. We didn't follow each other, but his account was public. He'd posted a story shirtless, but I couldn't view it from my account. So I grabbed Efe's phone and checked from his.
James was in Istanbul. He'd posted a photo from the facility—shirtless.
"Ughh… seriously?" I muttered. That narcissistic jerk.
I put his phone aside, logged back into my account, and—purely out of spite—posted a shirtless photo too. I thought, He won't see it anyway. He doesn't follow me. But I posted it anyway.
Within ten minutes, likes started pouring in. Messages like "You're so handsome" and "Oh my God, post more like this" filled my inbox. I got bored and put the phone down. Not long after, Serdar came home and we ate dinner.
At the table, Serdar said,
"So that bastard James came here, huh?"
Efe added, "Yeah. I wonder why he wanted to play in Turkey."
I shrugged.
"No idea… It's James. He must be looking for a new adventure."
We didn't talk about it much. James was always the type to end up in scandals. He never sat still. At around two in the morning, I went to bed and fell asleep.
The next morning, my alarm woke me up. I woke the guys and we got ready quickly. It took about twenty minutes to walk to the facility. On the way, I noticed a lot of messages in our team's WhatsApp group. I was about to check when Efe said,
"Dude! The Hawks are here at the facility!"
I stopped for a second.
"What are they doing here?" I said.
Serdar added,
"Apparently we're training together. Captain, how do you not know this?"
I shook my head. When we reached the facility, I saw the Glacier Hawks' bus.
"They're really here…" I muttered.
Our guys had already gone in. I took a deep breath and followed. I changed in the locker room. Then I got a message from Efe:
"Dude come to the rink, coach is waiting for you."
Today is going to be awful… I thought. I headed downstairs. Coach Ferit and their coach, Ali, were talking in the stands.
From up the stairs, I saw our team lined up waiting for me. The Hawks were lined up across from them. My eyes drifted to James. He was looking at me.
How long has he been staring? I wondered.
I walked over to the coach.
"Where were you, captain?" he asked.
I must have asked with my eyes why the Hawks were here, because he said,
"You're training together."
I took a deep breath.
Was there no other team in this country?
I went down and tied my skates. I stepped onto the ice and faced my team.
"We're practicing with the Hawks today. Get ready," I said.
Everyone groaned. I could feel James staring at me from behind.
Mert, the Hawks' captain, said,
"So you finally made it. Did you keep us waiting on purpose?"
I turned to him quietly and replied,
"Relax. You should be used to waiting for me by now."
He took a step closer, angry.
"And you call yourself a captain? Worthless idiot."
I walked up to him and our teams tensed. I grabbed him by the collar.
"Watch your mouth, asshole," I said through clenched teeth.
When the coach shouted, I let go. Mert turned away. James, as always, watched from the side—silent and dark.
After lining up, the match began. The Hawks were strong, but we were better. I took the puck and was heading toward the goal when someone shoved me so hard I crashed into the barrier and fell.
When I tried to lift my head, I felt warmth on my cheek. I touched it—blood.
My team ran toward me but I couldn't hear them. My head was spinning.
I barely made out the coach saying, "It's okay. Look at me."
Then I saw a fight break out. The teams were going at each other. That was the last thing I remember… then everything went black.
When I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital. The room was quiet. As I tried to sit up, the coach entered.
"Stop, don't get up," he said, gently pushing me back.
"How do you feel?"
"I'm fine," I said.
"The doctor said you had a mild concussion, but nothing serious. They just put in a few stitches."
I sighed.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean, what happened?"
"The last thing I remember was our team fighting the Hawks."
"Oh, that. No big deal. The Hawks went back to their facility."
I took a deep breath. I kept thinking about who shoved me.
"Coach… who pushed me?"
He paused.
"That was Mert."
I clenched my teeth. "If I get my hands on that bastard…"
"No need. Someone already dealt with him. He's in the hospital too."
I turned my head quickly.
"Who did it? Serdar? I told him not to—"
Coach shook his head.
"No, not Serdar. Honestly, I was surprised but… it was James."
My eyes widened.
James? Why?
Why would he do that?
"Is he okay?" I asked.
"He's fine," the coach said.
I'd have to stay one day in the hospital. Coach stepped out to get food.
But only one question was stuck in my mind:
Why did James protect me?
Didn't he hate me?
My head ached. I closed my eyes and fell asleep…