Even though Uchiha Souji hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, the long journey from Konoha to the Fire Capital had drained him completely. His body felt like it had sunk into the tatami, and his sleep was so deep that even a falling kunai couldn't have woken him.
The night passed quietly.
And morning arrived in the blink of an eye.
The sky was barely beginning to brighten when the first rooster crowed. The city outside had not yet fully awakened, and everything felt peaceful and calm.
But Uchiha Souji was still dreaming happily—embracing sweet sleep as if it were the rarest treasure in the world.
Then—
"COME AND FIGHT ME!!!"
The shout hit him like a lightning strike.
Souji's eyes shot open instantly. His body moved on instinct—a perfect combat reaction. Like a carp leaping from the water, he sprang upward, grabbing the Third Generation Guiche (his shoe weapon) beside his bed and landing in a defensive stance.
His eyes were bloodshot from being woken so violently. His hair stood in every direction. His mind felt fuzzy and half-asleep.
He scanned the room rapidly.
No intruder.
No enemy attack.
Just silence.
Souji slowly exhaled.
Then he heard rustling from outside the window.
He looked toward the source of the light—and there, standing on a tree branch right outside his window, was a familiar small figure.
As sunlight spilled in behind him, the scene almost looked beautiful…
Except for the fact that the person in the picture was the most annoying kid Souji had met in years.
"Takeda Izo…" Souji muttered, his mouth twitching.
He slid open the window and glared fiercely.
"Little brat! Do you NOT know waking people up early is a terrible habit?! Aren't you afraid I'll tie you up and flick you to death?!"
He meant every word.
Souji loved sleep.
And this kid had committed the greatest of sins—stealing sleep from an Uchiha.
Takeda Izo didn't flinch. He puffed out his chest proudly.
"What? It's already seven in the morning! The sun is drying your butt and you're still asleep?!"
Before Souji could reply, the kid leaped from the branch, flipping in the air dramatically—obviously trying to land in a cool pose.
Instead—
SPLAT!
He landed on Souji's clothes on the ground, slipped, and fell face-first into the tatami.
Souji's mouth twitched again. "Idiot…"
Takeda Izo stood up quickly, brushed off the dust, and pointed his wooden sword at Souji.
"Didn't you say yesterday that you'd wait for me? Well, today's me is stronger than yesterday's me! So come on, fight me again!"
Souji stared at him speechlessly.
For a moment, he wondered if the Land of Fire had been secretly cultivating battle maniacs on purpose. This was just the capital, not a hidden village—why did someone like Takeda exist here?
But then he sighed. He knew this type of person.
This was the Legendary Combat Maniac Type.
The type who would challenge you every day.
The type who would train harder just because you beat them once.
The type who would follow you from breakfast to bedtime demanding a duel.
Souji wiped his face tiredly.
"I literally fought you yesterday."
Takeda Izo shook his head with confidence.
"You said you were waiting for me! And today's me is stronger than yesterday's! That means we must fight again!"
Souji could not deny the logic. Annoying logic… but logic.
Still, he tried to talk sense into the kid.
"Listen, you are stronger than yesterday. But the difference between us is still enormous! You should train for one or two months at least before challenging me again. This fight is meaningless for you or me."
He crossed his arms, trying his best to look disappointed.
Takeda Izo stood silently for two seconds.
Then—
"KUSO! How do you know if it's meaningless when we haven't fought yet?!"
He stomped forward angrily.
"Everything in books must be tested in real life to know whether it works!"
Souji felt his soul leaving his body.
He had met this personality before.
Kakashi's best friend—Might Guy.
A man who challenged Kakashi every day.
Every morning.
Every night.
Every hour.
Guy was the kind of man who said "one more match" even after losing a hundred matches.
Souji could suddenly understand Kakashi's pain.
He shivered.
He needed to shut this kid down before it was too late.
Without warning—
SMACK!
Souji slapped his own cheek.
Why did I open my mouth yesterday? Why did I say I'd wait for him?!
Souji quickly made a decision.
He opened the door and began walking downstairs.
Takeda Izo followed him instantly.
"HEY! Fight me!"
Souji ignored him.
The boy followed anyway.
"Fight me!"
Souji kept walking.
"Fight me, Souji!!"
Souji ate breakfast—
Takeda talked nonstop.
Souji tried to go to the bathroom—
Takeda stood outside yelling challenges.
Souji stood at the window—
Takeda stood beside him, swinging his wooden sword dramatically.
Souji walked through the market—
Takeda narrated his "battle spirit" loudly, embarrassing Souji in front of everyone.
Takeda Izo talked from morning…
to noon…
to afternoon…
to sunset…
to nightfall.
By the time the moon hung high in the sky, the stars glittering beautifully overhead, Souji had reached the end of his patience.
The night air was fresh.
The sky was clear.
Everything was peaceful and lovely.
Except for one thing.
One terrible, annoying thing.
Takeda Izo was still talking.
Souji stood under the moonlight, fists trembling.
He felt a deep, primal fear:
If he did not deal with Takeda Izo tonight… then tomorrow morning, when he lifted his blanket, that brat might be sitting INSIDE his bed staring at him.
He had to put an end to this insanity.
Souji inhaled deeply.
He exhaled slowly.
Then he looked at the moon and whispered to himself:
"…If this continues, I will lose my mind."
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