(T/N): Ive been thinking about posting a One Punch Man x Genshin fic I found, the main character is basically king because of a template. Surprisingly enough.. the main character actually does develop later in the chapters and isnt as much as a wuss as he starts off as. Its got 95 chapters as of right now.
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"Well, that's roughly how things went. How about it, fellas? I didn't do too bad, did I?"
Bugs Bunny was sitting comfortably with his legs crossed in the softest armchair at the Angels Share tavern, munching crunchily on a "Sweet Emerald" carrot—a local Mondstadt product said to be irrigated by Springvale's spring water—his face beaming with the satisfied smile of a successful planner.
Lumine opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but found that any words seemed pale and powerless in the face of Bugs Bunny's "feat." In the end, she could only dryly squeeze out two words: "...Impressive."
Eula crossed her arms, her icy blue eyes—rarely devoid of their usual indifference—carrying a hint of unnoticed approval. She nodded, stating concisely, "Well done."
For the Spindrift Knight, who intensely despises the aristocrat, to give such praise, it showed that Bugs Bunny's actions had truly resonated with her.
"Ha, thanks for the compliment."
Bugs Bunny smugly wiggled his ears and stuffed the last bite of carrot into his mouth.
"Speaking of which, it was quite interesting. While executing the plan, I discovered that the Lawrence Clan wasn't exactly a monolithic block. Several younger members seemed to have long been fed up with their family's stale ways, but dared not speak up due to their status. My 'Carrot Education' might have indirectly helped them out."
He clapped his paws together, as if remembering something, and looked around: "Oh right, where are the four of them? Jesse, Elliot, Zane, and Matt? Why aren't they here? I wanted to hear their review of my performance."
When the quartet was mentioned, Paimon immediately squirmed awkwardly in the air, scratching her head with a small hand: "Them... uh... well..."
Eula sighed, rubbing her forehead, and answered for Paimon: "They're in the Brig."
"The Brig?"
Bugs Bunny's long ears shot up in confusion, like two question marks.
"What trouble did they cause this time? Did they steal Master Diluc's prized wine collection? Or did they make Captain Kaeya's coins disappear?"
"It was... slightly more 'lively' than that."
Eula sighed, feeling a dull ache starting in her temples again.
"They went with Klee to Starsnatch Cliff Lake... to blast fish."
"Blast fish?!"
Bugs Bunny nearly choked on his own saliva. He patted his chest with his paws, looking utterly incredulous.
"My goodness! If you want fish, can't you just catch it with a rod or a net? Or buy it at the market! Why blast it?! That sounds like... like using a cannon to kill a mosquito, and a mosquito you raised yourself at that!"
"Sigh, they've done this before with Klee."
Eula explained, her tone filled with sympathy for the logistics department of the Knights of Favonius.
"The first time, Matt was too big to fit into a regular Brig. Acting Grand Master Jean had no choice but to punish him by having him clear road obstacles outside the city. He finished three days' worth of work in half a day, and even flattened several Hilichurl camps while he was at it..."
"Later, the Knights of Favonius simply allocated special funding to deliberately expand a 'Specialized Brig' next to the original one—one that was wide enough, with thickened walls and heightened door frames—specifically to hold the four of them."
Bugs Bunny listened dumbfounded. After a long pause, he shook his head and lamented with a mix of sympathy and schadenfreude: "Oh, heavens, what a tragedy... A Brig built specifically for them? Does that count as some kind of alternative 'special honor'?"
While speaking sadly, he happily pulled out another carrot and continued munching, clearly treating this as the perfect story to go with his meal... or rather, his carrot.
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Meanwhile, in the Knights of Favonius Acting Grand Master's Office.
Acting Grand Master Jean was facing a "guest" who was several times taller than her and radiated an invisible pressure, making her feel more exhausted than dealing with ten stacks of piled-up documents.
"Mr. King Hassan."
Jean tried to keep her voice steady and polite, even though she desperately wanted to tear at her hair and scream.
"I am requesting you once again, and most solemnly, please... stop participating in the mischief with those four Honorary Knights and Klee, alright?"
The cause of the incident was also "fish blasting," but King Hassan's involvement had escalated the situation from "naughtiness" to "ecological disaster."
When Jean received the report and rushed to the edge of Starsnatch Cliff Lake, the sight she saw nearly made her faint—the quartet and Klee were gleefully preparing Jumpy Dumpty Bombs of various sizes, while King Hassan, standing beside them, seemed to have been consulted on "how to efficiently acquire fish."
The Grand Assassin did not pull out any explosives, nor did he make any obvious movements.
Only the white light in his skeletal eye sockets flickered slightly, locking onto a fish-rich area of the lake.
The next moment, a Netherworld Karma Fire seemed to ignite out of thin air!
It wasn't ordinary flame; it was a pale fire carrying the aura of death and annihilation, instantly covering the entire lake surface!
There was no explosion, no splashing water, only a dead silent Burning.
Where the flames passed, the lake water didn't boil but simply "vanished," revealing a dried lakebed. As for the fish and shrimp in the water, not even ashes remained; they were seemingly erased directly from the plane of existence!
A section of the lake instantly turned into a forbidden zone of life!
If Zane hadn't reacted quickly, pulling out a device that looked like a high-pressure water gun, and if Jesse and Elliot hadn't frantically poured spare water and fish fry out of the Serenitea Pot for "Ecological Restoration," Starsnatch Cliff Lake would probably have had to be renamed "Starfall Pit."
Facing Jean's request (or rather, plea), King Hassan's massive skeletal head bowed slightly, his hollow eye sockets "gazing" at Jean.
The air in the office seemed to freeze.
After a few seconds, he slowly responded in his deep, ancient voice, which sounded as if it carried its own echo:
"Hmph, understood."
Hearing this, the heart that had been lodged in Acting Grand Master Jean's throat finally dropped back into her stomach. She let out a breath, almost collapsing from relief, and quickly said, "Thank you very much for your understanding, Mr. King Hassan!"
She secretly rejoiced, thinking that although this old gentleman possessed terrifying strength and an inscrutable style of action, he was at least the type who was willing to communicate and correct his mistakes... probably?
However, King Hassan's next words sent Jean's heart soaring back into the air:
"However, My technique is indeed unsuitable for fishing."
He stated calmly, as if discussing the weather.
"Next time, perhaps I can attempt... Granting the Concept of Death, precisely targeting the spiritual bodies of the fish without harming their physical bodies. The efficiency might be better."
Jean: "!!!"
Granting the Concept of Death?! Using that to catch fish?! That's more terrifying than Burning the lake dry!
"No! Please don't! Mr. King Hassan! Really, please don't!"
Jean nearly screamed, waving her hands frantically.
"For a trivial matter like catching fish, I truly dare not trouble you to act again! Just leave it to Klee... er, no, leave it to professional fishermen! Or let those four Honorary Knights use the thunder hammer to electrocute the fish... Although that's also discouraged, at least it's better than Granting Death!"
My gods, what am I even comparing?! The Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius is actually comparing which fishing method is less environmentally destructive and more humane?!
King Hassan seemed confused by Jean's intense reaction, but he didn't insist. He simply nodded slightly, and his figure slowly vanished into the office, as if merging with the shadows, leaving Acting Grand Master Jean—still shaken and feeling as though she had lost several years of her lifespan—to contemplate life alone amidst the stacks of documents.
Lord Barbatos... if you truly are watching over Mondstadt, could you please... try to rein in these visitors from another world?
If this continues, I fear Mondstadt won't survive until the next crisis; it will first be 'saved' into dissolution by them through various unexpected methods... Meanwhile, inside the Brig.
"Achoo!"
the quartet, who were supposed to be facing the wall (but were actually gathered together playing Genius Invokation TCG), simultaneously let out huge sneezes.
Elliot rubbed his nose, puzzled: "Strange, who's talking about us?"
Jesse tossed out a card dismissively: "It must be Acting Grand Master Jean getting another headache because of us."
Zane adjusted his mask: "Or maybe she's thanking us for timely stopping old Mr. King Hassan's 'Grilled Fish Plan.'"
Matt nodded guilelessly: "Yep, I think so too."
Next to them, Klee was obediently (and reluctantly) writing a self-criticism, her small face full of grievance: "But... using Grandpa's method to catch fish was really fast... it's just that all the fish disappeared..."
Outside the window, the sky above Mondstadt remained blue. The wind of freedom swept through the city-state, carrying the fragrance of carrots (Bugs Bunny's doing), a faint hint of Burning (King Hassan's legacy), and... the fierce debate emanating from the Brig about whether the next meal should be grilled fish or honey-glazed carrot fried meat.
For Mondstadt, it was another peaceful yet... "lively" day.