"The reason I called you all here today," Pain said, taking a slow, deep breath, "is to assign Akatsuki's next missions."
He didn't say it out loud, but he'd come dangerously close to booting "Gyoku" out of the organization five minutes ago.
Fortunately, the guy had finally shut up before that happened.
Amamiya Kenichi just shrugged.
Yeah, he understood the situation.
Akatsuki wasn't yet that terrifying endgame organization that made the entire ninja world cooperate out of sheer fear. Right now, they were basically:
A rain village with trust issues
One god-tier cripple with legendary eyes
One very tired paper lady
One newly arrived mad scientist snake
And him.
Not exactly "final boss" material.
So there was a lot that needed doing:
Find and recruit more powerful missing-nin.
Build up a war chest.
Acquire equipment, hideouts, information networks.
Probably also help Konan restock her mountain of explosive tags.
Kenichi glanced at her.
Yeah… speaking of. Her paper-bomb spam was not cheap. Even with Kakuzu in the future, they'd need a truly terrifying amount of money to feed that playstyle.
"Ku," Pain said, turning his Rinnegan toward Orochimaru, "I want you to gather funds for the organization in the short term. Methods are up to you—"
He paused for emphasis.
"—but do not harm civilians."
Something about Orochimaru felt… different than before. Shorter, for one. The aura was off in ways Pain couldn't quite describe.
But he didn't care enough to dig deeper.
As long as they were useful, he didn't micromanage his members'… quirks.
"Not allowed to hurt civilians?" Orochimaru tilted her—now his—head slightly, golden eyes narrowing with interest. "That's fine. In return, I'd like to study your Rinnegan a little."
Her tongue flicked across her lips.
The look she gave Pain was pure predator.
Kenichi covered his face.
There it was.
He'd tried so hard to gently redirect the timeline. Help Orochimaru join Akatsuki peacefully. Avoid that particular "Orochimaru vs Pain" route.
Apparently the worldline hadn't gotten the memo.
"Worldline convergence, huh…" he muttered internally. "No matter what I do, it still finds a way to snap back?"
"I won't stop you from trying," Pain answered, voice perfectly calm.
Konan's reaction was… less calm.
Her brows drew together, and for a second she looked ready to shred Orochimaru with ten thousand paper knives.
Then Pain glanced at her.
She exhaled slowly, crossed her arms, and said nothing more. Her disapproval was written clearly on her face, but she trusted Pain's judgment.
"I'll look forward to it, then," Orochimaru replied, tongue slipping briefly out in that familiar serpentine gesture.
Kenichi shivered.
Teacher really did like snakes. On every possible level.
Still, he couldn't blame Orochimaru completely. The first time he'd seen Pain in person, he'd also had the urge to yank those eyes out and put them on a lab table.
"Guess I really am the same kind of crazy," he thought, mildly depressed.
"Gyoku," Pain said, turning toward him, "your assignment—"
"Money, right?" Kenichi immediately gave him a thumbs-up and flashed a perfect Might Guy smile.
Teeth. Sparkle. Radiant optimism.
"…"
Pain suddenly knew—very, very clearly—what it felt like to be personally offended by a facial expression.
"Yes," he managed, after a brief pause. "Money."
Still. As long as this idiot left quickly and did his job, he could accept it.
Maybe.
The image of Yahiko flickered briefly in his mind.
In the end, it still has to be you, Yahiko… the only one who could've been this organization's leader without going insane.
"I'll handle it as fast as I can," Kenichi said aloud.
He resisted the urge to drop some strange joke at the end. He'd just joined. Best to put in a proper "loyalty down payment" first, do a clean job, and then start slowly pushing his own agenda later.
Pain gave a short nod.
"Good. Then it's decided. More members may join in the future. When that happens, I'll inform you."
His words had barely finished echoing when the dark space shattered.
Kenichi blinked—
—and was back in the underground base, in front of his workbench and half-sorted materials.
He looked around, impressed all over again.
"Yeah, okay, that ability is really busted…" he whistled. "Stealth, long distance, instant group call… no wonder Akatsuki kept such a low profile for so long."
Of course, Akatsuki weren't the deepest shadows in this world.
If you wanted true cryptids, there was always Black Zetsu. And that certain Otsutsuki still lurking in the background like some cosmic final exam.
"Compared to that bunch, we're just a slightly organized cosplay club," Kenichi muttered.
Footsteps sounded, soft but distinct.
"Kenichi," Orochimaru's voice came from behind him. "Handle my share of the money-gathering as well. I'll be making a trip to Amegakure."
Kenichi turned around and saw that his teacher had already switched back to the classic look: long black hair, pale skin, snake eyes, the whole package.
He scratched his cheek.
Honestly, the blonde girl version had been way easier on the eyes.
But a teacher was still a teacher. And he knew quite well that form had mostly been a test.
"If I pat his head now…" Kenichi thought, staring at the top of Orochimaru's head, "will he still shiver like she did…?"
He had, after all, spent a long time conditioning that body with Pavlov-style "head pats = electric terror" training.
But then an image of the possible consequences floated into his mind.
Test subject: Orochimaru.
Stimulus: Head pat.
Result: Probably death.
Yeah. No thanks.
Orochimaru noticed his silence and frowned slightly.
Kenichi snapped back to attention.
"Got it, Sensei," he said quickly.
Shame about the timing. His thermobaric fuel tests were still in the early mixing phase—no stable ratio yet. He'd have to put that on hold.
Still, he'd already been thinking about where to go for funds.
Gatō.
Not Momochi Zabuza—he was just hired muscle.
Gatō was the real prize: one of the top tycoons in the world, with money piled so high it probably needed its own building codes.
And more importantly:
A walking, talking piece of human garbage.
Even for "let's protect civilians" Pain, Kenichi seriously doubted Gatō qualified for sympathy.
On paper, Akatsuki's philosophy leaned pro-civilian, anti-war-machine, sure.
But necessary sacrifices?
Those, the organization absolutely permitted.
And Gatō… well. Kenichi had no doubt that once Pain learned about his methods, he'd be perfectly fine with the man being turned into funding.
"Sensei, you're going to test Pain's strength personally, right?" Kenichi asked.
"Yes," Orochimaru said, eyes bright with interest. "I want to see what the Rinnegan can truly do."
Kenichi felt a matching excitement spark in his own chest.
The Rinnegan—ultimate evolution of ocular power. If the Mangekyō Sharingan was "youth edition," then the Rinnegan was the fully upgraded DLC expansion, no level cap.
"Just wait for me, Obito," he thought, fingertips brushing the sealing scroll at his waist.
Inside, a single eye slept in preservation fluid.
A Mangekyō Sharingan.
"Once I finish my chakra-augmented thermobaric warheads, you won't mind helping me test them, right?" he smiled to himself.
After all…
What kind of friend doesn't send their old classmate a custom-made gift to celebrate the dawn of a new era?