It was almost evening, the sky painted in orange and pink hue. Not so long after Yan Zhen stopped crying, his eyes were slightly red and his face puffy. He wiped the remaining tears and lay down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling, his heart aching at the thought of his parents and friends. He missed school bells, his family, the familiar small room he used to live and his beloved shelf which had his favourite books arranged neatly.
He took a deep breath.
"I have to accept the fact that...I'm now living as him, Yan Zhen".
He thought to himself and closed his eyes as he tried to sleep.
Then there was a knock on his door, followed by a familiar voice.
"Yan Zhen? Can I come in?", Emperor Jinhai asked softly.
Yan Zhen took some moment to compose himself,"Y-yes, come in", Yan Zhen said, wiping his eyes and face one more time so the Emperor wouldn't notice.
Jinhai entered, now dressed more casual, just deep blue robe with no grand designs, indicates he's free, he noticed his red eyes but didn't say anything.
Yan Zhen sat up carefully as Jinhai sat in a chair beside the bed.
Yan Zhen looked at him,"Your Majesty, you don't have to come and visit me often, I'm fine. You should be doing your works on court", his voice hesitant, there was a hint of guilt in it.
He thought that he didn't deserve this care and concern which only Yan Zhen deserves, not Zhen Yi.
He felt guilty for not telling the truth that he is Zhen Yi, but he knew, he couldn't. It would change the history.
Jinhai looked at him for a moment before chuckling softly,"you truly changed after the war".
"C-changed? In what way?", Yan Zhen asked, thinking the Emperor started to doubt him.
"You were so confident, always speak loud enough for even anyone outside the room to hear, knows what you do, never stuttered while speaking, your eyes never flicker in uncertainty", Jinhai listed off everything he observed lately.
"Um...I think nearly dying changed me", Yan Zhen looked down fidgeting with the blanket before stopping it knowing Generals don't do this, "do you hate this change?", he lifted his gaze to meet the Emperor's.
"No", the answer came almost immediately. Emperor looked at Yan Zhen seriously.
"Don't think that, i actually...like this. This side of you, you've never been like this. It's..it's different..", Jinhai trailed off before looking outside the window.
The sun was gone replaced by the moon which was glowing softly casting it's light on the roof and trees, the occasional sound of owls. He looked back at Yan Zhen.
"Just be your true self...",Jinhai said, his voice soft and gentle.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in", Jinhai said, his voice turning cold and calm, completely opposite to how he just talked with Yan Zhen.
Yan Zhan felt his heart pounding at how he treats him differently.
"Oh my god ..to be treated like you're the sun he revolves around, Zhen Yi, you definitely hit the jackpot", Yan Zhen thought to himself.
The servant entered and bowed deeply to the Emperor and Yan Zhen.
"You don't have to bow everytime you see me, just bow to him", Yan Zhen unconsciously said.
The servant and Jinhai, both looked at him as if they saw a ghost, the servant looked at him with wide eyes as if she can't believe what she just heard.
The Emperor looks equally surprised. Yan Zhen looked at both of them and asked softly,"did I tell something wrong?".
The servant quickly bowed and answered,"no General, it's just...", she trailed off not knowing how to put it in sentence.
"It's just you never told anyone this, you always expect everyone to bow and only stand straight when you tell them", the Emperor finished what the servant was trying to tell.
She nodded at the Emperor's words and looked at Yan Zhen again.
"D-did you hit your head too hard, General?", she asked with fear thinking this would trigger him and make him angry.
"I don't remember...maybe, I just wants to be less strict", Yan Zhen said, his eyes were soft, nothing like the General before, because this is Zhen Yi.
The servant just nodded and looked at the Emperor,"Your Majesty, I'm going to change the bandage and clean him up, can you go out of the room?", she asked kindly, with respect.
"No..I'm staying here", the Emperor said, daring her to talk afterwards. She just nodded and sat beside Yan Zhen and reached out to untie his robe.
Yan Zhen sqeaked and pushed her hand away, terrified and wrapped his arms around himself,"um...sorry lady, but...are you going to see me...uh..?", he gestured to his body, his cheeks and ears turning red.
The servant understood and nodded,"yes, General. I'm going to change your bandage and clean you with wet cloth".
Yan Zhen hesitated, he felt shy at the thought of a woman doing this.
Jinhai looked at Yan Zhen then at the servant before ordering,"you can leave, i will do it for him", he said without hesitation.
Yan Zhen looked at him with wide eyes,"is he serious?", he thought to himself but stayed silent.
The servant agreed and left the room.
Jinhai stood up from his chair and sat down beside Yan Zhen on bed.
Yan Zhen averted his gaze away, the thought of Jinhai seeing his upper body bare made him feel embarassed, he was just a shy boy.
When the Emperor reached to untie his robe, Yan Zhen caught his wrist, Jinhai looked at him, with hint of surprise. Yan Zhen immediately let go of his wrist and looked down at his hands.
"You don't have to d-do this, your Majesty..", he tried his best to hide the embarassment, trying to be brave.
Jinhai smiled, a genuine smile.
Not the polite smile he do for court.
"You changed alot, Yan Zhen...since when you got so shy about these things? It's normal for you to get injured in wars and servants always change your bandage and clean you up...why you are getting so shy nowdays?", he asked with obvious amusement in his voice and still smiling.
Yan Zhen's face turned even more red at the words. He took a shaky inhale.
"I-i don't know...i-i feel weird...", he managed to tell.
"It's okay, it's just me and you, let me clean your wounds",Jinhai said as he untied Yan Zhen's robe and took them off, revealing his mascular build which don't belong to Zhen Yi. Yan Zhen closed his eyes tightly.
The Emperor chuckled at his reaction before shaking his head and removing the bandage and putting them aside. He dipped the cloth in the warm water and wiped the wound gently to not hurt Yan Zhen.
He winced slightly in pain but didn't complain. He slowly opened his eyes to look at Jinhai who is focused on cleaning the wound and put new bandage on.
For a moment, Yan Zhen's heartbeat skyrocketed but he quickly cleared his thoughts and looked away awkwardly.
The Emperor finished cleaning him and tied his robe again.
"It's done", Jinhai said as he tied the robe ties. He looked at Yan Zhen with a smile who was still red.
"There's nothing to be hesitant or shy about. I'm like your friend, you don't have to feel this way around me", he smiled ressuringly.
That smile made his heart race and he managed to flash a small smile and nodded.
Just then, Yan Zhen felt hungry.
"Oh I'm hungry", he complained, forgetting to act like Yan Zhen.
Jinhai chuckled and nodded,"it seems like you're hungry, me too. Let me tell maids to bring us food. It's already night".
Jinhai left, as soon as he left, Yan Zhen facepalmed at how he acted infront of Emperor.
"You idiot, you should have acted calm and composed, not like who you are...what he thought about me now? Did he suspect me now?"
Yan Zhen heard footsteps approaching, he quickly became normal and silent. Jinhai entered followed by servants who brought food for them.
They placed the food on table and left the room with bow. Jinhai sat next to the bed on the chair.
"Eat", he said softly as Yan Zhen nodded and they both started eating.
"The healer said that your wound almost closed, you can walk freely from tomorrow but you shouldn't run or bend over too much",Jinhai said as he chewed.
Yan Zhen eyes widened as he got excited at the thought of atleast walking around than sitting and lying at the same place.
"Then I can go out of this room right?", he asked in excitement.
The Emperor paused before laughing at how excited he was. He nodded,"yes you can".
Yan Zhen smiled and ate happily, like a child excited to go out.
"You know...",Jinhai started as Yan Zhen looked at him,"I like this side of you...alot...you are now..more carefree, like a child would. You're completely opposite to what you used to be. I find it amusing".
Yan Zhen choked on his food before he composed himself and looked at the Jinhai.
"Then.. I'll be like this", Yan Zhen said with a smile which made the emperor smile back.
As they eat, Zhen Yi realised that everyone loves this side of him, the soft man he made of Yan Zhen. He decided to be his true self, but also knew he shouldn't cross the boundry so much that would risk real Yan Zhen's reputation.
"Uh..Your Majesty?", Yan Zhen called out as Jinhai looked at him.
"Yes, Yan Zhen?", he replied.
"Can you take me out? I mean... I haven't seen our empire since I got injured...so..can we pay a visit?", Yan Zhan asked but truly, the Zhen Yi inside wanted to see how the ancient world looks like. He studied about them on books but never experienced one so he decided to use this chance.
"You're acting as if you never saw our empire",Jinhai said as he swallowed his food.
"Oh please, I want to see the empire",Yan Zhen pleaded with a..pout?.
The Emperor paused eating and looked at him in surprise with wide eyes before bursting out laughing,"did you just pout at me?".
Yan Zhen realised what he had done and smiled sheepishly.
"I mentioned about being less strict right? That's why", Yan Zhen chuckled.
Time passed, they finished eating. The Emperor left after lecturing him about resting which Yan Zhen got used to by now. Yan Zhen smiled to himself and lay down on the bed hugging and pillow tightly.
The thought of going out and seeing the empire kept him awake. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.
He was getting comfortable in this body, in his new life, in this world.