Natsuki Subaru was genuinely curious about what would happen if, one day, Suzune Horikita truly became Kikyo Kushida's best friend.
The kind of truly devoted, unwavering friendship.
What would become of the malice Kikyo Kushida held for Suzune Horikita then?
Would she abandon the most primal malice in her heart, or would she push a friend who treated her sincerely into the abyss?
Natsuki Subaru was very interested in this.
Or perhaps, Natsuki Subaru was trying to see, in someone who was even just a tiny bit 'similar' to himself, what kind of ending the path he had never chosen would lead to.
At this thought, the smile on Natsuki Subaru's face grew even more brilliant.
As if he didn't understand why Kikyo Kushida was so persistent, Natsuki Subaru asked with a smile, "Kikyo-san, why do you want to be friends with Suzune Horikita so badly?"
"To be honest, I think Horikita-san is really hard to get close to."
As he spoke, a troubled expression appeared on Natsuki Subaru's face, as if he truly found Suzune Horikita unapproachable and was having second thoughts.
"Because, if Horikita-san is always alone, wouldn't she be too lonely?"
"This academy is a closed three-year system. I'm sure you're aware of that, Natsuki-kun."
Hearing Natsuki Subaru's words, Kikyo Kushida raised her head very seriously and said softly, "All contact with the outside world is forbidden, and we're not even allowed to leave the school during winter and summer breaks. If you don't have any friends, you're bound to get lonely, right?"
"If it were me, I would definitely be very lonely."
"So… when I see Horikita-san always by herself, not talking much to anyone in class, I feel that if she's alone for these long three years, it's just too pitiful!"
"I just thought, no matter what, I have to become Horikita-san's friend!"
"That way, she won't feel lonely and isolated!"
Kikyo Kushida's string of dialogue was full of emotion and genuine sentiment. Natsuki Subaru almost believed her.
...
The Library.
At this moment, Natsuki Subaru was sitting in his seat, quietly reading the novel Hiyori Shiina had recommended to him yesterday.
It wasn't much different from what Natsuki Subaru had initially expected; playing along with Kikyo Kushida hadn't taken up much of his time. After all, he had already been lectured by Suzune Horikita just for glancing at her during class this afternoon.
When Natsuki Subaru and Kikyo Kushida teamed up to stage an 'accidental encounter' with her at the café, it was naturally even more impossible for Suzune Horikita to give Kikyo Kushida a pleasant look.
She simply reprimanded Kikyo Kushida with a few words before turning and leaving, not showing any courtesy at all.
Natsuki Subaru and Kiyotaka Ayanokoji were also mercilessly scolded along with her.
After Suzune Horikita left, Natsuki Subaru, Kikyo Kushida, and Kiyotaka Ayanokoji naturally went their separate ways. Natsuki Subaru came to the library, while Kikyo Kushida and Kiyotaka Ayanokoji headed back to the dorms together.
To be honest, Night on the Galactic Railroad was indeed a good piece of work. It was readable.
But compared to No Longer Human, it was far inferior. The most important difference was conviction.
'The atmosphere, the emotions of No Longer Human, I can immerse myself in them very naturally.'
'I can feel some of Osamu Dazai's emotions, his state of mind.'
Natsuki Subaru compared the two novels as he flipped through the pages.
It wasn't to say that Night on the Galactic Railroad was necessarily worse than No Longer Human, only that Natsuki Subaru had already lost the ability to resonate with positive emotions.
The discussions on happiness, sacrifice, and the meaning of life—Natsuki Subaru could understand them, comprehend them, but he just couldn't feel them.
The despair in Osamu Dazai's writing was viscous, suffocating, a kind of bloody reality.
That stripping away of human pretense, that questioning of one's own existence, was like a bone-chilling mirror. In this mirror, Natsuki Subaru saw his former self.
It was the same as when Natsuki Subaru looked at Kikyo Kushida.
However, Kikyo Kushida was a living person, while No Longer Human was just a book, just a string of text.
In terms of immersion and empathy, the Kikyo Kushida of now was far from having the same shocking impact on Natsuki Subaru as the book No Longer Human.
Kikyo Kushida only allowed Natsuki Subaru to see a tiny shadow of himself.
But No Longer Human was a direct reflection in a mirror.
During the last reset, Natsuki Subaru had been a little regretful that he hadn't finished No Longer Human.
'For me, No Longer Human is both a poison and a resonance.'
'Night on the Galactic Railroad is just a painted piece of candy. I can look at it, but that's all.'
Natsuki Subaru leaned back slightly and closed his eyes.
The more he savored the contents of No Longer Human, the more Natsuki Subaru felt an almost masochistic sense of clarity.
Then Natsuki Subaru opened his eyes, and what met his gaze was a pair of purple eyes with a hint of a smile.
"Natsuki-kun."
Hiyori Shiina had come before Natsuki Subaru and said happily, "How are you enjoying the book?"
It was like recommending an anime to someone, and they go to watch it right away; the joy is indescribable.
It was the same for Hiyori Shiina.
The moment Hiyori Shiina had arrived at the library, she had seen Natsuki Subaru. Compared to the other students, Natsuki Subaru's characteristics were far too obvious in the observant eyes of Hiyori Shiina.
So, after finding the book she wanted to read, she came straight over to see him.
Hmm, perhaps Suzune Horikita also possessed such powers of observation, but she simply didn't care about such things.
"Is it a little too much like a fairy tale?"
Hiyori Shiina sat down in the seat directly across from Natsuki Subaru.
"The galaxy Kenji Miyazawa constructed is filled with pure fantasy."
"The exploration of dedication, friendship, and happiness is also very sincere. It's a flawless novel."
Natsuki Subaru looked at Hiyori Shiina's somewhat expectant and apprehensive gaze and smiled gently.
But, that was all it was.
The 'galaxy' was so beautiful and dreamlike, so unreachable, sweet yet illusory.
Whereas 'No Longer Human' was a tangible pain, painful yet 'real'.
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Natsuki-kun."
Hiyori Shiina's eyes curved into crescents, but beneath her purple pupils, there was still a trace of worry.
Looking at the weary smile always on Natsuki Subaru's face, she asked in a gentle voice, "Mr. Kenji Miyazawa's writing always has a kind of... hmm, a gentleness like the stars, don't you think?"
"When I read it, I feel... just a little more at ease."
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