I was preparing for 'Guardians of the Galaxy' by occasionally visiting Xandar to monitor the situation, and I also planned to get ready for 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'. However, even ignoring 'Guardians of the Galaxy', 'The Winter Soldier' posed significant problems, since Natasha wasn't assisting Captain America.
This was one of the changes caused by my presence. In the original, Natasha was still with SHIELD at this time, working under Fury. So during 'The Winter Soldier', she helps Captain America drive HYDRA out of SHIELD...
He sighed. "This is driving me crazy. What should I do..."
If I left it to Captain America, he isn't good with computers, so he probably couldn't do anything. But I couldn't just put Natasha back in SHIELD either, making it quite a dilemma.
While I was pondering this, Deadpool suddenly burst through the door and held out a card.
"Cassian, look! Look!! I got my license!!"
"Oh, really?"
Checking the license Deadpool showed me, it was definitely real.
"You finally got it. How did you manage?"
"It was a close call, actually. After I killed that spinster inspector a few times, she started being more lenient."
...
I didn't want to know about that. Anyway, I went to the parking lot with Deadpool and gave him the promised Audi R8 as a gift.
"Ooh~ Look at this color! It's killer! Mmm~ That new car smell~"
Deadpool was admiring the R8. If I left him alone longer, he might do something weird to the car, so I asked him.
"Hey, are you any good with computers?"
"I know the basics, but just enough to play games? Why do you ask?"
I explained the situation to Deadpool. Since he's from the future, I thought I could use him this time.
"So that's the problem. But you know, my face is pretty well-known too. HYDRA probably knows about me, right?"
"That's why I'm saying. Try taking this."
I took a TS pill from my Inventory and handed it to Deadpool.
"What's this?"
Deadpool swallowed the pill without hesitation. Suddenly, he transformed into a stunning blonde woman.
"Gasp!!! What the hell? I'm a woman now? Where's my Johnson!!!???"
"It's a gender transformation pill made by our company. It's hard to produce and very expensive."
I brushed it off casually. Deadpool poked at his chest and asked.
"Does this wear off?"
"Yeah, there's an antidote."
"Oh~ Is that so! I'll be right back."
"Hey! We're not done talking yet!"
Deadpool hurried into an empty room, locked the door, and didn't come out. Our house has thorough soundproofing, so I couldn't tell what was happening inside. I could have used my abilities to find out, but for some reason, I didn't want to.
It took two days for Deadpool to emerge from that room.
"Whew~ The mysteries of the female body... I could write a thesis on it now. Anyway, I'm hungry, let's eat."
...
It was absurd, but we went to the dining room and had a meal together while I explained.
"So you want me to join SHIELD and help Captain America like Natasha did?"
"That's right. I'll handle the computer issues. And once this is over, I'll give you that BMW i8 you wanted, plus a hefty bonus."
"Great! I'm in. Sounds fun!"
Deadpool accepted without a moment's hesitation.
"But you'll need some training. You don't have a feminine bone in your body right now."
"You've got a point. Honestly, I don't even know how to wear a bra."
"Exactly. Stay at my place for a while, get some training, then we'll insert you into SHIELD."
"Got it. I'll show you the femininity sleeping within me!"
Just then, the android Momo came over and spoke to me.
"Master, one of the rooms has been deemed uncleanable. What should we do?"
I was shocked by that.
"Hey! What did you do in that room!?"
"Ahahaha, sorry, I might have gotten a little carried away."
Deadpool answered sheepishly.
"Momo, seal off that room for now."
"Understood, Master."
I gave Deadpool another room and, starting the next day, assigned a tutor to teach him femininity. She was a Japanese woman, an expert in this field who had trained girls from many prominent families. While he was being trained, I had my secretaries buy clothes and underwear for Deadpool. Of course, I also had a bulletproof suit, a vibranium katana, and pistols specially made.
"I'm not sure if entrusting this to Deadpool is the right move..."
I considered having an android do it, but androids are still too robotic and would be caught quickly. If I did it myself, I had 'Guardians of the Galaxy' to deal with and too much on my plate. And Deadpool was the only one who knew about this, so I had no choice.
So, I planned to equip Deadpool with lens cameras and hacking devices that don't set off metal detectors, so I could guide him remotely. It wouldn't stop his impulsive actions, but I thought it could steer him in the right direction.
"I hope it works out..."
A few months passed. We cleaned up the room Deadpool messed up, and the training seemed to be going well, though the Japanese tutor struggled a bit at first. In the meantime, I hacked into SHIELD to check how 'Project Insight' was progressing.
Project Insight was SHIELD's ambitious plan to connect three next-generation Helicarriers to satellites, using ultra-precise cannons on the Helicarriers to eliminate terrorists early and reduce threats.
Coincidentally, Fury contacted me.
"Cassian, I need to see you. The address is on the outskirts of Washington..."
"I'm on my way."
It seemed Fury was starting to smell something fishy, that things were going strangely. I immediately headed to Washington, disguised myself, and met Fury in a secluded park.
"Sigh... Something's off. Orders I never gave are being transmitted, so at first I thought it was a simple mistake, but it keeps happening. No concrete evidence yet, but it feels wrong. If you know anything, I'd appreciate it. You probably know almost all the information on Earth."
"All I can tell you is about a mobile satellite launch ship called 'Lemurian Star'. The truth is hidden there."
"I see... I'm curious how you know about that ship, but I won't ask."
The mobile satellite launch ship 'Lemurian Star' was a SHIELD vessel used to launch satellites connected to the Helicarriers.
"Right. And I'll assign you a support agent. Their face isn't known, and they're an expert in hacking and combat, so use them as you see fit."
Seizing the moment, I planned to attach Deadpool to Fury. I thought he might refuse, but Fury, perhaps in a tight spot, readily agreed.
"That's welcome news. Trustworthy people are hard to come by these days. Send them over soon."
After parting with Fury, I returned home and told Deadpool, who was resting, about the conversation.
"So the time has come."
"Yeah, and here's this."
I handed Deadpool a new ID, weapons, suit, and clothes.
"Black, huh? Not my style..."
"What can you do? If it were red, they'd think of you right away."
"True enough."
"And these are lenses for communication with me and a remote hacking device. They won't set off metal detectors, so don't worry."
"Got it."
As I handed over the lenses and hacking device, Deadpool immediately put them on his eye and finger. But then he complained about the ID.
"Hey! What kind of name is 'Eleanor Camacho'? It's so tacky. Sounds like poop a Mexican refugee would stash!"
"That's your daughter's name in another multiverse... Poop? Seriously..."
Deadpool was silent for a while, then spoke quietly, embarrassed.
"... On second thought, it seems like a good name... Kinda macho smelling..."
This guy's Talulah was on point.
"Macho-smelling poop... Anyway, I've already spoken to Fury, so you can start commuting to SHIELD right away. I've arranged a new place in Washington."
"Okay."
"I'm warning you, don't screw things up by acting out!"
Deadpool suddenly acted cute with me.
"Oni-san, watashi dake shinjite! (Brother, just trust me!)"
"That's exactly what I'm telling you not to do."
"Geez... I learned that from the Japanese teacher to use it..."
And so, Eleanor (Deadpool) successfully joined SHIELD. The Japanese teacher who trained Deadpool had lost a lot of weight compared to when she first arrived, probably from the psychological strain, so I gave her a hefty bonus and sent her off. Of course, I made sure she kept quiet.
"I wonder if Deadpool will do a good job."
I monitored SHIELD's situation through the camera I'd equipped Deadpool with. Since Deadpool was quite a beauty, many guys hit on her. I tipped Deadpool off each time, and she turned them all down. Occasionally, the Japanese phrases she used were called cute or something? It was ridiculous. The funny thing was, Deadpool seemed to enjoy the attention. She even acted cute.
"Wow~ That guy seems interested in me, huh? Look, he's giving me coffee and donuts."
"I don't get it either... Why you're so popular."
"Hehe! It's all because of my beauty."
"Absurd..."
After a few days, Deadpool became SHIELD's queen bee. It was utterly bizarre. Maybe a woman with Deadpool's fourth-dimensional personality had a subtle charm.
Now Deadpool went on missions with other agents, and whenever she did, male agents would flock to her, explaining things kindly and even saying they'd protect her if it got dangerous, patting their chests. Watching that, I wanted to go tell them right away that she was a man.
He sighed. "I give up. As long as the job gets done..."
While watching Deadpool's absurd antics, I ordered several BMW i8s as promised. I planned to use one myself. I contacted headquarters directly, so I trusted they'd make it carefully, since I've invested a lot in BMW.
The BMW i8 was a unique vehicle. Its sleek design and hybrid technology drew much attention, but due to the lackluster exhaust note from its three-cylinder engine, it adopted a system that outputs exhaust sounds through speakers. Perhaps because of high development costs, its initial release price was around 200 million won, drawing much criticism. Eventually, the price dropped to under 100 million won, but it couldn't escape discontinuation. At the time, it was a controversial car, often called a "pretty piece of junk."
However, over time, the BMW i8 was re-evaluated. As hybrids and electric vehicles became commonplace, the speaker exhaust system no longer seemed strange. Its fuel efficiency was surprisingly good, over 20 km/L, and thanks to the three-cylinder engine, repair costs were low. The low maintenance was a big plus, and the lack of power was compensated by the electric motor, making it not bad at all. This car could be called a masterpiece born at the wrong time.
Perhaps Deadpool, being from the future, knew this and wanted this car. I also liked the design and had considered buying one.
Anyway, after Deadpool had been active in SHIELD for a month, and as Captain America and Deadpool became familiar and worked together more, I finally heard the news that the mobile satellite launch ship 'Lemurian Star' had been hijacked by pirates. This marked the beginning of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.