Chapter 11: The Penny Introduction
Three days later and I'm still riding the high from Wil Wheaton's visit. Leonard brings it up every single time he sees me. The podcast collaboration is scheduled for next month. My customer count has hit fifty-plus regulars.
Life is good.
The bell chimes.
Penny walks in.
She's wearing a Cheesecake Factory uniform—must be between shifts—and looks completely lost. Her eyes scan the shop like she's entered alien territory.
"Hi." I set down my inventory clipboard. "Can I help you find something?"
"Oh, thank god, a normal person." She approaches the counter. "I need a comic book for my nephew. He's like, thirteen? Really into superheroes? And I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking for."
"Okay, I can work with that." I come around the counter. "What kind of stuff does he like? Movies, TV shows?"
"Um, Spider-Man? I think? He wore a Spider-Man costume last Halloween."
"Spider-Man's perfect. Easy to get into, lots of good stories." I guide her to the Marvel section. "Does he read comics already or is this his first one?"
"I don't think he reads them. So maybe something that, like, makes sense on its own? Without needing to know a million other stories?"
"Smart. We don't want continuity hell for a new reader." I pull down Ultimate Spider-Man Vol. 1. "This is a reboot series. Starts from the beginning. Peter Parker in high school, modern setting. Perfect entry point."
She takes it, flips through. "This is actually really nice. The art is good."
"Bagley's great. And Bendis writes teenage characters well. Your nephew will probably like it."
"You're like, really good at this. Not condescending at all." She's smiling now, relaxed. "The guys across the hall from me are into comics but they get all weird and lecture-y when I ask questions."
Leonard and Sheldon. Of course.
"Let me guess. You ask about Batman and get a forty-minute explanation of every continuity reboot since 1986?"
"YES! Oh my god, you know them?"
"They're my Wednesday regulars. Good guys, but yeah, they can over-explain."
"You're way more normal than them." She looks around the shop again, reassessing. "This place is actually cool. It doesn't smell weird or have creepy posters everywhere."
"High praise for a comic shop."
She laughs—genuine and warm. And that's when I notice my Attractiveness power is working overtime. She's leaning in slightly while we talk. Maintaining eye contact. Laughing at every small joke.
Dial it back. She's Leonard's crush.
"So just this one?" I ask, creating space.
"Actually, maybe two? In case he really likes the first one?"
"Smart gift-giving." I grab Volume 2. "This continues the story. And if he gets through both of these, come back and I'll recommend more."
"You're assuming I'll be back."
"Most people who buy good comics come back. It's kind of addictive."
We're at the register now. She's chatting about her acting career—auditions, callbacks, the grind of it all. I'm nodding, asking follow-up questions, keeping it casual. The conversation flows easily. Too easily.
Tone it down. Don't be Howard.
The bell chimes again.
Leonard walks in, sees us together, and his expression does something complicated. Surprise. Confusion. Brief flash of something that might be jealousy.
"Penny! Hey!" He's too loud, too eager. "What are you doing here?"
"Buying comics for my nephew." She holds up the bag. "Stuart was super helpful. Way better than you explaining comics."
"I don't over-explain—"
"You absolutely do." But she's teasing, fond. Then to me: "Thanks again, Stuart. These are perfect."
"No problem. And seriously, come back if he wants more recommendations."
"I will!"
She leaves, waving. Leonard watches her go, then turns to me with suspicion written all over his face.
"Were you hitting on Penny?"
"What? No."
"You were talking for like, fifteen minutes. I saw you through the window."
"I was helping her buy comics. That's my job."
"You made her laugh. Multiple times."
"Because I was being helpful without lecturing her about sixty years of continuity?"
He deflates slightly. "I don't lecture."
"Leonard, buddy. You absolutely lecture."
He slumps against the counter. "Was she asking about me?"
"No."
"Oh."
"She mentioned you as 'the guys across the hall.' In a friendly way."
"'Friendly.'" He says it like a curse word. "That's the worst possible descriptor."
I feel bad for the guy. He's clearly into Penny and she sees him as the nice nerd neighbor. Classic setup.
"Look, she just bought comics for her nephew. She's not thinking about dating right now."
"But you made her laugh."
"Because I wasn't trying to impress her. That's the secret, man. Don't try so hard."
"Easy for you to say. You're good at talking to people."
I have supernatural powers that make social interaction easier.
"It's just practice. And confidence. The more you do it, the easier it gets."
"That's what everyone says. But doing it is different than knowing it."
He's not wrong. Before the powers, I was just as awkward. Maybe more.
"Start small. Next time you see her, just say hi. Ask about her day. Don't turn it into a big thing."
"Just say hi."
"Just say hi."
He nods, unconvinced but willing to try. We spend the next hour organizing comics and not talking about Penny. But I can tell he's thinking about her.
And I'm thinking about the interaction. How easy it was to talk to her. How the Attractiveness power made her comfortable, made her laugh, created instant rapport.
That power is dangerous. Not in an obvious way. But in how it makes things too easy.
If I'm not careful, I could accidentally lead people on. Could make Leonard think I'm trying to steal his crush. Could create drama I don't want.
The powers are gifts. But they come with responsibility.
After Leonard leaves, I pull out my secret notebook. Add a new entry:
Attractiveness power is getting stronger. People are too comfortable too fast. Need to be careful with boundaries. Don't want to accidentally hurt friends.
And below that:
Penny seems nice. But Leonard saw her first. Bros before—whatever the comic shop equivalent is.
I close the notebook and lock it in my desk drawer. Three months of secrets, careful lies, strategic half-truths. All documented in a spiral notebook that would sound insane to anyone who read it.
Bitcoin investments, Wil Wheaton collaborations, supernatural social powers, and now navigating my friend's crush.
This life is getting complicated.
But it's mine. And I'm going to be careful with it.
Even if that means turning down the powers sometimes. Even if that means being just Stuart the comic shop owner, not Stuart the void-touched transmigrator with impossible advantages.
Because friends matter more than success.
And I'm not losing this friend group over a girl I'm not even interested in.
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