Chapter 26: Tsunade's New Disciple is Her Great-Grandmother
The Morning After
"Ugh... my head is killing me..."
Tsunade rubbed her throbbing temples, slowly opening her eyes with a pained groan. Her entire body felt sore and bruised, as if she'd been thoroughly beaten up.
Looking around at the unfamiliar inn room, confusion clouded her features. "Huh? How did I end up here? I remember... ow, my head hurts too much. I can't remember anything clearly."
Just as she was puzzling over why she'd woken up in a random inn, the door suddenly opened.
"You're awake at the perfect time—I was just coming to check on you. Wait... who's she?"
Uchiha Kazuki walked in with his characteristic composure. Tsunade was about to demand an explanation when her gaze fell on an unfamiliar young girl following behind him.
The girl appeared only twelve or thirteen years old, with long black hair tied in a high ponytail. She wore a simple black dress and carried herself with remarkable, almost submissive politeness.
"Yo, Lady Tsunade. You're finally conscious."
Kazuki raised an eyebrow, his expression carefully neutral. "If you hadn't woken up soon, I was starting to wonder if you'd drunk yourself into an actual coma."
"Uh..."
Tsunade immediately sensed the sarcasm dripping from the boy's tone. She touched her nose self-consciously, feeling inexplicably guilty. "Did I... did I drink last night?"
"What do you think?"
Kazuki's lip curled slightly. "There's such an overpowering smell of alcohol in this room that even civilians three doors down probably noticed. You couldn't detect it at all?"
"Ahem."
Tsunade coughed twice, her guilt intensifying noticeably. She muttered defensively, "People who've been drinking heavily can't smell alcohol on themselves properly."
But then something else struck her as very wrong. Staring at the delicate-looking girl with growing confusion, she demanded, "Wait just a minute, kid. I distinctly remember we were supposed to go to the Forest of Death to inspect that seal, right? How did I end up drinking instead? What happened in between? I have absolutely no memory of any of this."
"Lady Tsunade, perhaps you should try thinking about it more carefully?"
Kazuki glanced meaningfully at Hikari standing quietly beside him before continuing smoothly. "After we successfully repaired the seal in the Forest of Death, you insisted we needed to celebrate. You dragged me to Tanzaku Town's entertainment district and proceeded to get completely plastered."
Tsunade struggled to recall the events, her brow furrowing with concentration.
Sure enough, fragmented memories began surfacing in her mind.
After completing the seal repairs, she'd felt emotionally drained and melancholic. She'd grabbed Kazuki's arm, insisting they needed to "cheer themselves up properly."
Then the two of them had gone to a nearby tavern, where Tsunade had gotten absolutely hammered. In her drunken state, she'd even gone on a destructive rampage—smashing furniture, breaking walls, causing general chaos.
"I'm... I'm so sorry!"
Tsunade knew she was completely in the wrong. She apologized immediately and emphatically. "I promise—I absolutely promise—I will not drink again for the remainder of this mission!"
"Heh. I'll believe that when I see it."
Kazuki's tone conveyed profound skepticism.
"Ahem! Listen, kid, you shouldn't dwell on trivial matters like this, or girls will start avoiding you~"
Tsunade quickly changed the subject, her attention returning to the well-behaved girl who seemed vaguely familiar somehow. "Anyway, who exactly is she? Why is she with us?"
"Oh, her?"
Kazuki paused dramatically. "Her name is Hikari. She's the new disciple you formally accepted last night while you were completely drunk."
Before Tsunade could fully process that bombshell, Kazuki casually pulled open his shirt to reveal his chest—which was covered in obvious, severe bruising.
"By the way, when I tried advising you that accepting random disciples while intoxicated might be unwise, you punched me so hard I flew dozens of meters through the air and crashed through a building."
"I... I wasn't that violent, was I?"
Tsunade stared at the vivid bruises covering the boy's torso, her guilt intensifying dramatically.
Although she genuinely couldn't remember the specifics, faced with such undeniable physical evidence, she couldn't be certain she hadn't done exactly that.
"Yeah, not that violent at all. Just sent me flying through a few city blocks."
Kazuki finished adjusting his shirt, pushed up his glasses with practiced precision, and added with a sardonic smile, "If I hadn't been extremely lucky last night, you'd probably be attending my funeral right about now instead of having this conversation."
"A few city blocks?!"
Tsunade's eyes widened dramatically, her mouth falling open in shock—looking like she could swallow an entire egg whole.
"Indeed. Not much damage. Just three entire commercial streets completely demolished."
Kazuki's tone remained acidly pleasant. "A mere three million ryō in property damages. I've already submitted the itemized bill to the Hokage's office, including my personal medical expenses."
He paused for effect. "I must say, I've finally witnessed the true power of Tsunade of the Sannin's Strength of a Hundred Seal firsthand. Quite the eye-opening experience."
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm incredibly sorry!"
This time, Tsunade didn't even attempt to argue or deflect. She immediately dropped into a perfect dogeza—pressing her forehead to the floor in the traditional posture of deepest apology.
"Kazuki-kun, please forgive me! I absolutely didn't mean to hurt you or destroy anything!"
She could sense that some of the massive chakra reserves she'd accumulated within her Strength of a Hundred Seal had indeed been released violently.
Oh gods, what have I done?
The Perfect Performance
"Never mind. I survived, so there's no point dwelling on it further."
Kazuki sighed with apparent magnanimity, clearly unwilling to belabor the issue. "What do you plan to do about Hikari? Are you going to honor your drunken commitment? Or back out, claiming intoxication as an excuse?"
"Tch..."
Tsunade grimaced, rubbing her face as a headache built behind her eyes.
What kind of absolute mess is this? I demolished three city blocks while drunk, nearly killed Uchiha Kazuki, and apparently took on a random disciple?!
"Lady Tsunade... you don't need to force yourself."
Uchiha Hikari—who had remained silent throughout the entire exchange—finally spoke up quietly. After hearing the discussion about her status, she bit her lower lip nervously. Her small hands twisted together anxiously as she gazed at Tsunade with timid, wounded eyes. Tears began welling up as she spoke in a pitifully small voice, clearly trying to hold back her emotions.
"I've... I've caused you so much trouble. I understand. I... I'll leave now and won't bother you anymore."
By the end of her statement, Hikari's voice broke into soft sobs. Her pitiful little face was covered with genuine tears streaming down her cheeks.
She looks absolutely heartbroken.
"You poor child!"
Tsunade was already naturally soft-hearted—especially toward children. Combined with knowing she was entirely at fault for creating this situation, seeing the girl's devastated state touched her heart profoundly.
Gritting her teeth with determination, she slapped her thigh decisively. "No problem! Absolutely no problem whatsoever! I, Tsunade Senju, always keep my word! From this day forward, you are officially my disciple!"
"Really?!"
Hikari's hands flew to cover her mouth in shock, her eyes filling with surprised joy that seemed almost too perfect. "You... you really want to accept me as your student? Truly?"
"Of course it's true!"
Tsunade patted her ample chest confidently, speaking with absolute conviction. "From today onwards, you are my very first disciple!"
"Master!"
Hikari rushed forward immediately, throwing herself into Tsunade's arms while sobbing openly. "Hikari has a master now! Hikari finally has a master! It's so wonderful! Thank you, thank you so much!"
Her tears flowed freely—though whether from genuine emotion or calculated performance was impossible to determine.
"Silly child, why are you crying?"
Tsunade stroked the girl's long hair tenderly, pulling her into a warm, protective embrace. Her eyes filled with gentle maternal kindness. "You have a master now. No one will ever bully you again. I promise."
What a touching scene of familial bonding.
Watching this carefully orchestrated drama unfold exactly as planned, Kazuki—the true architect behind all of it—couldn't help but admire Hikari internally.
She's a natural-born Spectator. Absolutely perfect.
From her facial expressions to her body language, even every glance and subtle shift in vocal tone—everything had been meticulously designed to target Tsunade's specific psychological vulnerabilities. She'd perfectly exploited the legendary Sannin's sympathy and remorse.
Of course, this entire scheme also involved Hikari's Mangekyō ability. She'd used Yachihoko to subtly alter and implant false memories into Tsunade's mind—making the fabricated story feel completely real.
Flawless execution.
In one elegant move, he'd effectively given Uchiha Hikari a completely new, ironclad identity:
The first personal disciple of Tsunade—one of the Legendary Sannin. Student to the Princess of the Senju Clan. Successor to the founder of the modern medical ninjutsu system. Bearer of the legendary "Legendary Sucker" gambling lineage.
Even within Konoha's complex political landscape, very few people would dare touch someone with such prestigious backing.
However, as Kazuki observed the heartwarming scene, a sudden thought struck him—something simultaneously hilarious and deeply problematic for both Tsunade and himself.
Logically speaking, when Uchiha Hikari was originally born during the Warring States Period, even the First Hokage Hashirama Senju was still just a child...
Which means, technically...
Tsunade just accepted her own great-grandmother as her first disciple.
The absurdity of that genealogical paradox was almost too much to process with a straight face.
I wonder how long it'll take her to figure that out?
[End of Chapter 26]
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