It was not the first time I saw him. We had been friends for four years.
Even so, once summer broke and he stepped into homeroom, I caught my eyes drifting his way, not on purpose. A change hung around him now. His look seemed sharper, while the quiet smile he tossed at pals made my heartbeat hiccup - something new, something raw.
As our gazes locked, I stopped breathing. Everything else went quiet - almost like the world shifted, with just him still there.
He plopped down, grinning while sharing break tales with mates. His tone had this chill vibe. For me, it felt like an impromptu block party - boisterous, bright, couldn't help but notice.
Then I realized it.
I'd stayed in this very room for ages, but deep down, things felt different now - like a slow shift no one noticed.
What bothered me the most? Spotting how he quietly slipped into my head - never said a word about it beforehand.
Back then, if anyone told me he seemed nice, I just laughed. I'd say things like, sure, lots of cuter guys walked around school. Once in a while, I poked fun at him, acting like looks didn't matter one bit.
That morning though, I couldn't say a word - totally unprepared when he showed up, like the space around us got tighter just because he stood there.
That frightened me.
My heart wasn't sticking to the words I'd tossed out before.
If that sense ever sparked gossip, facing people would feel impossible. That's why I kept silent. Not a soul heard it from me - my closest pal included.
I kept so silent that the teachers actually saw it. Our class teacher was class teacher for past 3 years so he know all of us very well. Then my class teacher took me away from others, speaking low - "You sick or something today?"
"I'm fine" was my response.
"Then why are you so quiet today - not causing any trouble at all? Is everything okay?" he asked.
I didn't feel like answering, so I stayed silent.
He paused, let out a soft sigh and waved me back to my seat.
I made every effort to concentrate on what the teachers were teaching, but my eyes betrayed me by staring at him. Over and over, it wandered his way. A knot formed in my chest - then annoyance kicked in, aimed at me. Something felt off. How come I couldn't quit looking?
Then it happened.
He noticed me looking.
Our eyes locked, yet I still, expecting him to turn. Then, a smile crept up - casual, easy, as if nothing mattered.
Once class finished, I hopped on the bus he took, stepping off where he did. Still, my eyes looked for him on their own. My closest pal shouted my name, snapping me out of it, so I walked into my place without a final glance his way.
That morning wiped me out. I couldn't quite name the emotion building up, yet something felt clear - strangely safe, though risky too.
Night came, yet my eyes stayed open. Still, I drifted through silent gaps between breaths - each idea pulling me deeper. Lying there, I asked myself how things would go tomorrow; at what point did I lose who I once was?
A single morning made me see my longtime friend in a way I never had before—unexpected, confusing, impossible to ignore.
That one shared glance in class quietly began changing everything between us.
And just when I thought I could survive tomorrow.....