My body is sore, I don't feel like getting up but I do either way. As I go about replaying yesterday's events, I remember Asher's relieved eyes when he saw me, I remember his torn in between look when I told him I was leaving. I make my way downstairs to have breakfast and I met with Asher's grandmother sitting by the lounge drinking some tea. "Grandmother," I said as my eyes lit up. She looks up at me and she looks angry. I make my way to where she is and has a frown on her face, one that she had when Asher and I showed up at her doorstep to announce we had gotten married. She was angry at our impulsive decision to get married, but after Asher coaxed her she accepted me and treated me with love and respect.
"Grandma how long have you been here? You should have told me you were visiting?" I said as I sat next to her. she frowned even more. "You are divorcing Asher. Why didn't you tell me about your decision?" she asked, straight to the point. "I was going to come and inform you grandma."
"When? When you had finalized the divorce?"
I kept quiet because it was true. I wanted to finalize the divorce first before I went to her because I knew she would stop the divorce from happening. "Four years ago, You and Asher married without informing me, now four years later you are divorcing without informing me. What is wrong with you two?"
"Grandma-"
"I expected more from you Zaliyah. Marriage is not a joke that you can simply go in and out as you wish. when you married Asher you became a part of our family, you became my granddaughter, why do you think you can simply just cut ties like all these years meant nothing," she scolded. I could see the pain in her eyes, It started dawning to me of how foolishly I had acted. I was scared, terrified that I didn't think things through. Grandma had accepted me, no questions asked despite the fact that my sister was supposed to marry her grandson and now that I am deciding to leave I didn't bother informing her of my decision.
"Grandma-"
"Divorce is serious. You divorcing Asher is not going to be private affairs, the public will know and it will affect everyone involved," she said, her eyes now softening towards me.
"I am sorry grandma," I said, looking down at my feet in shame. I felt terrible , "Why are you divorcing Asher? Did he say he wanted the divorce?"
"Aria is back."
"So? How does it affect your marriage?"
"Grandma Aria has always been Asher's true love, they were supposed to be married-"
"But she left. You and Asher got married even if she is back I don't see how it affects you."
"Asher and I were never truly married, Asher's heart has always belonged to Aria and not me. Staying married will be forcing things, Asher and Aria are still in love."
"What about you? Don't you love my grandson?"
"I-," I hesitated, I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. I wasn't supposed to love him. It didn't matter if I did because one sided love is torture, I should know.
"Grandma this decision will make everyone happy."
"I won't allow for this divorce," she said sternly. I shifted closer to her, I held her hand gently in mine, "Grandma please," I said, my voice trembling. She looked at me and when she saw my glistening eyes, she hugged me. "Oh my dearest Zaliyah," she said.
"I will deal with Asher," she said.
"No grandma, don't please. I am fine, I promise I am okay."
"I won't lie to you I hate whatever decision you have chosen, I don't support it but I will support you. But you should know that you leaving doesn't mean I will not care for you, what do you plan to do?"
"I want to get into culinary school and become a chef," I said smiling excitedly.
"A chef, then that is settled. I will make sure you get into the best Culinary school in the world and I will support you with anything you need," she said.
"Grandma you-"
"No, at least let me do this for you."
I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back tightly. I was going to miss her more than she will ever know. She had shown me more love than my parents ever did in my entire life and yet she had known me for only four years. We had breakfast together as she told me about how she had been dealing with her other kids who were giving her a headache. She still oversaw business operations as she wanted something to keep her busy , she didn't want to waste away at home and do nothing. After she lost her husband she had to be the leader of the family, she had to take over and ever since she knows nothing more than to lead her family, she always told me she didn't think her other kids were ready to lead without her supervision yet.
Later in the day grandma left, I was about to go out when my parents showed up with gifts in their hands, this was weird. "Zaliyah," my mother said approaching me with a huge smile, I looked at her blankly. I didn't know how to respond how was I supposed to respond to this weird interaction?
"Mother, father," I said greeting them. "How are you doing? we missed you."
"We brought you some gifts, yesterday I had gone shopping and I saw somethings that reminded me of you," my mother said as she handed me the gifts. I smiled lightly at her and opened the first gift, it was a diamond bracelet with some emerald pieces, it was beautiful. "This is beautiful mother, thank you."
"You are very welcome."
"Where is Asher?" My dad asked as he looked around. "He is at work, he left early in the morning," I said. "Do you remember how hard it was for us when you married into the Sterling family? People criticized us," my mother randomly mentions.
"We were angry at you too but you had told us that it wasn't a real marriage and that when Aria was back you would leave," my dad added.
"You have always been the reasonable one, you were mature and you have matured more now," my mother added with a fake smile. I knew what they were saying, the gifts, the sudden visit and the fake concern...it was all done to remind me that of what I had said back then in anger. They wanted me to make way for Aria and all this was to bribe me and manipulate me into leaving.
"You should do it quickly, don't drag it so that people don't criticize you again."
I scoffed at their remarks and stood up, I took the gifts they had given me and threw them at the door, "So this is why you are here? You have no shame at all," I said at them. They both stood up too, surprised at my outburst. They didn't even inform me Aria was back or tell me where she had gone, they came here to try and make way for Aria. They didn't even ask me what I wanted or how I felt with all that was happening.
"Zaliyah please dont-"
"No, leave."
"What?" My father said in surprise, he looked at my mom and then back at me. "You don't bother to even ask me how I feel with all this , you think some gifts can buy you my favour. Do you think you can buy me with all that?"
"Honey no, we wanted you to know that-"
"To know what, huh?"
"That we will help you finalize everything and you are always welcome at home."
"Did you even ask me if I wanted to leave?"
They paused, none of them saying a word. Pathetic.
"Leave, you don't need to come here with all this to persuade me. I was already leaving," I said giving them one glance over before I left the house.
......
"So shameless," Eloise said with disgust written all over her face. I had informed her about what had happened.
"I know, ugh I can't even have some peace even I am leaving him."
"Oh my poor baby," Eloise said as she hugged me. We were looking at apartments I could stay at after the divorce, she wanted us to stay together but the culinary school I wanted to attend was a little bit further from her apartment.
"Once you leave Asher you can finally be my baby again." she said teasingly.
"But I have always been your baby," I said to her.
"Yes but not my baby alone."
"You are so dramatic," I said as we looked at the apartment.
Eloise and I spent a lot of time looking for the perfect apartment but we couldn't find one that was affordable and nice, we finished house hunting really late and decided to order dinner and eat while we watched a movie by the time we were done it was already late. I walked into the house and all the lights were off, people must have gone to sleep. As I walked towards the steps the lights suddenly turned on, I looked behind me and Asher was sitting on the couch looking at me deeply.
"Oh hi," I said. He doesn't answer. I awkwardly stand there and decide to head upstairs since he was giving me the silent treatment. "You are just like her. You run when things get difficult," he said. I stop in my footsteps and turn back to him, "What did you say?" I asked him as I stood there unmoving, "You are like your sister, you both like running away," he said again but this time slower. He had been drinking, his voice was deeper than usual and he spoke slowly. The sensible thing was to walk away and ignore his comment but I knew this was the time to let everything out.
"Funny how that is coming from a man who hated me for what my sister had done to him."
"Hated you? I never for once ever hated you."
"The empty dinners? the cold nights? the silence? You made me feel invisible whenever I was around you and you say you never hated me?"
"I never did, I was angry," he said like that would be a great excuse to treat me the way he did.
"So was I but I tried to make this work but you never wanted it to work, you were waiting for her weren't you?"
He is silent. He was waiting for her, he didn't want to try and make this work because he was waiting for her to come back. He wanted her back, "Zaliyah, it's complicated."
"It doesn't have to be Asher," I said and walked up the stairs to my room. If he just signed the damn papers it wouldn't be complicated, it wouldn't be this hard.