Marshall and Lily's apartment smelled of paint and freshly brewed coffee—a combination Alyx had come to associate with Lily's creative moments. The moments when her girlfriend would dive into a canvas and the outside world ceased to exist. But that afternoon, there were no canvases in sight, just a cardboard box forgotten in a corner and the nervous energy of three people who shouldn't have been there.
Alyx arrived with the keys Lily had given her weeks ago—after the night of the notebook, after the cracks began to fill with gold. "So you can always come in," Lily had said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And it was. Alyx came and went from the apartment with the ease of someone who has a home in three different directions.
But that afternoon, when she opened the door, she found a scene she hadn't expected.
Ted, Robin, and Barney were huddled by the upright piano that occupied a corner of the living room. No, not huddled. Crouched. Like three conspirators in a sixties spy movie. Barney was holding something in his hands, something that had been hidden behind the instrument for God knows how long. Ted and Robin were looking at him with an expression that combined astonishment, amusement, and existential terror.
"...enough that if they cured cancer tomorrow, this would still be the best thing that happened all week." Barney's voice echoed in the apartment's silence. "Okay, now you're ready for Marshall naked."
Alyx froze in the doorway.
Robin was the first to notice her presence. Her eyes, green and always alert, met Alyx's and widened like saucers. "Oh my God, Alyx. This... this isn't what it looks like."
"It isn't what it looks like?" Ted turned, and his face went from astonishment to panic in 0.3 seconds. Alyx knew because her brain—that blessed and cursed brain that always calculated everything—did the math. "Alyx! Hi. We... we were... this is... Barney found something."
Barney, the only one of the three who didn't seem to have an ounce of shame, straightened up with the wounded dignity of a peacock caught preening. He was holding against his chest a medium-sized canvas, covered with a cloth that was slipping dangerously.
"What are you doing in the apartment?" Alyx asked, closing the door behind her with a calm she didn't feel. Her voice sounded neutral, measured. "Because Marshall is at work, Lily is in a meeting with a gallery, and you three are here, alone, doing... what exactly?"
"We can explain," Ted said, raising his hands in surrender. "There's a perfectly logical explanation that won't make us look like complete idiots."
"I doubt that," murmured Robin.
Barney, far from being intimidated, stepped forward with a smile that could only mean trouble. "Alyx, my dear, welcome to the most glorious moment of our lives. Well, of their lives. Mine has already had many glorious moments, like that time in Atlantic City with the three sisters..."
"Barney, shut up," Ted and Robin said in unison.
The cloth covering the canvas chose that moment to slip off completely, revealing what Barney was holding. Alyx saw it all in an instant: the classical composition, the mastery of light and shadow, the expression of the subject... and the subject himself.
It was Marshall.
Marshall naked.
Marshall in all his splendor, posing with a dignity that could only come from a love so great it surpassed any shame. Marshall with his large hands resting on his knees, his gaze lost somewhere outside the frame, his body captured with a precision and affection that only Lily could have put there.
Alyx felt the air freeze in her lungs.
It wasn't jealousy, God no. She had seen Marshall naked hundreds of times, in contexts far more intimate than a painting. Nor was it discomfort with the nudity itself. It was... the intimacy of what it represented.
That painting was a frozen moment in Marshall and Lily's history—a moment before her, before everything. And now it was being desecrated by Barney Stinson, of all people.
"How...?" Alyx had to clear her throat. "How did you find that?"
Ted shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. "Barney was looking for his phone. Instead of asking for help, he decided it was a top-secret mission and he had to investigate every inch of the apartment. He got behind the piano and... found that."
"He left it there because he couldn't believe what he was seeing," Robin continued, with a mix of resignation and fascination. "Then he called Ted and me to come see it. He said a discovery like that couldn't be shared over the phone; it required a meeting."
Barney nodded, proud. "It's the Stinson Code. Historical moments need historical witnesses. Do you think the man who discovered fire did it alone? No. There was an audience. Applause. Well, maybe not applause, but definitely an audience to say, 'Oh, look, fire. How interesting.'"
Alyx blinked once, twice. Then she did the only thing she could do in such a situation.
She laughed.
It wasn't a small, escaping laugh, but a genuine, deep belly laugh that came from her stomach and shook her shoulders. She laughed until her ribs hurt, until tears started to well in her eyes, until Ted, Robin, and Barney stared at her as if she'd gone crazy.
"Alyx?" Robin took a cautious step towards her. "Are you... are you okay?"
"Yeah... yeah..." Alyx wiped a tear, trying to catch her breath. "It's just... it's so absurd. You three, crouched behind the piano like you're in a heist movie, with the painting of Marshall naked like it's the treasure of the Sierra Madre, and Barney with his theory of historical witnesses. Ted with his 'please don't blame me' face. And Robin with her 'I'm just here for the gossip' expression."
"That's terribly accurate," Robin admitted.
Barney, far from being offended, seemed to consider her words seriously. "You know? I'd never thought about the discovery of fire in terms of an audience before. But you're right. The first man to make fire must have had someone watching. Maybe a woman. Women are always watching."
"Barney, please shut up," Ted and Robin said again, this time with more conviction.
Alyx approached Barney and extended her hands. "Give it to me."
Barney clutched the painting to his chest with a dramatic gesture. "What if I don't want to? What if this is the beginning of something bigger? What if this painting is the key to my next great plan?"
"What plan?" Ted asked with the tone of someone who already knows they don't want to know the answer.
"I don't know yet, but when Barney Stinson has a priceless artifact, the plan comes on its own. Like honey attracts bees, the painting of Marshall naked will attract... something. Laughter, humiliation, money. Probably all three."
Alyx kept her hand extended, motionless. Her gray gaze locked onto Barney's eyes with an intensity that had made more than one person back down. "Barney. Give it to me. I'm not going to say it again."
There was a moment of tension. Barney looked at her, weighing his options, calculating probabilities. And then, to Ted and Robin's surprise, his shoulders slumped in surrender.
"Fine. But only because I like you, and because you have that look that reminds me of my grandmother when she found out I'd spent her money on Yankees tickets. It was terrifying."
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This chapter had it all: discoveries behind the piano, Barney with a forbidden painting, and the return of comedic tension. What was your favorite moment? Alyx's entrance, Barney's confession, or the appearance of Marshall's painting?
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