It has already been three weeks since I married Tony Arrison.
Three weeks since I moved into this enormous mansion where, almost every day, I discover a new room, a new hallway, or even a new garden. I sincerely believe that it will take me several months before I know this house by heart.
The reception was already a week ago. Only a week, yet I feel like it was yesterday. There were so many things that happened that night that some memories are still engraved in my mind.
Since that night when I finally opened up to Tony, something has changed. I wouldn't really know how to explain it. It's as if the weight I had been carrying for months has disappeared. I feel... lighter, as if I can finally breathe. And then... there's him.
Since that famous night when I woke up in his arms, Tony now sleeps in our room, in our bed, next to me. Of course, he still keeps a certain distance between us, as if he's careful never to rush me, to respect my pace. I should probably be relieved, and I am. But I don't know why a very small part of me sometimes wishes he would stop keeping so much distance between us. A shiver runs through my entire body whenever I think about him.
Oh my God... but what is happening to me? Whenever I think about him, my whole body shivers, as if he... he. I quickly shake my head to chase away that thought.
At least, I can smell his scent every morning when I wake up and, to be honest, I really like that smell. It has become reassuring, as if it were silently telling me that everything was going to be okay.
And that's not all. For some time now, we have started to really talk. Really talk. At first, our conversations were short.
A simple "hello," a "good night," or a few words exchanged during meals. Today, it's different. We talk about everything and nothing. We tell each other about our days. Sometimes he even teases me and, from time to time... he laughs.
A real laugh, not just a smile. And every time that happens, I can't help but smile too. I don't know why.... but it makes me incredibly happy.
Anyway...
With Samira, we get along even better than before as time goes by, she has become the big sister I never had she teaches me so many things and often talks to me about the Arrison family, their habits, their traditions, their personalities. Thanks to her, I am slowly managing to find my place in this huge family. My relationship is not yet perfect with everyone but it is getting better day by day and that is already a great victory.
With the children too, everything is going wonderfully well we often play together we play hide-and-seek, board games, drawing contests and sometimes even pillow fights... well, until the adults catch us. They are adorable. They have even started calling me "Princess Esther." Every time I ask them why, they simply answer me:
— Because princesses are beautiful, kind and they wear pretty dresses like you.
I swear... these children are so cute that I want to hug them all.
With Ibrahim too, we get along very well by the way, he never misses an opportunity to remind me of our very first meeting... with Leïla every time he talks about it, I get so embarrassed that I prefer to change the subject but he finds it funny honestly, he is unbearable.
As for Grandma... this woman is simply incredible I spend a lot of time with her we watch series for hours novelas Turkish series dramas shows on MBC Bollywood, Star Life and especially Zee TV.
When I discovered that they were also her favorite channels, I literally jumped for joy I thought I was the only one who spent hours watching series. Result... we became true watching partners.
One day, we stayed in front of the television for more than four hours without even realizing how much time had passed.
It was Samira who came to interrupt us.
— You two are going to end up taking root in front of that screen!
Neither Grandma nor I listened to her.
— One more episode!
— You already said "one more episode" two hours ago!
Grandma turned to her with the utmost seriousness.
— It's a very important episode.
I immediately nodded.
— Very important.
Samira looked at us as if she had two children in front of her.
— You two are unbearable...
In the end, she practically forced us to go outside and get some fresh air.
Of course... Grandma didn't agree they argued for several minutes. "Argued" is a big word they were mostly bickering and as always... Grandma ended up winning that very evening, we were both back in front of the television this time with the children we were watching cartoons the little ones were completely absorbed by the screen and so were we.
Samira walked past the living room, looked at us for a few seconds, rolled her eyes before saying:
— I give up on you two.
Then she left muttering while, on our side, we quietly continued watching our cartoon it was one of the best days since I arrived here.
Yet... in the middle of all these happy moments there is one thing that continues to bother me about Grandma. I notice that she is getting more and more tired she tries to hide it she continues to smile to joke around to act as if everything is fine but I can see it her breathing is sometimes shorter she gets tired more quickly and, on some days, her hands tremble slightly. This is not normal.
Samira did explain to me, though, that her treatment is supposed to give her strength back she insists that these are simply the side effects of the medication. Maybe but I am not convinced something tells me there is something else and when something intrigues me I can never stop myself from searching for the truth.
As for my father-in-law I sincerely believe he is the best father-in-law in the world he takes care of me as if I were his own daughter every time he sees me, he asks me if everything is okay, if I am not lacking anything, if I like it here, etc...
These little gestures touch me deeply I even sometimes spend time with him we play chess, dominoes, cards and sometimes even Scrabble. I win often. Well... I mostly think he lets me win but that doesn't stop me from learning from every game, he gives me advice he explains my mistakes and congratulates me whenever I improve he also very often tells me anecdotes about himself and my father. The stupid things they used to do when they were younger. The races they organized. The pranks they played on others. The punishments they received afterward. Every time, I can't stop laughing. I have such a hard time imagining my father doing all those things. To me, he has always been serious calm responsible so imagining him running around with my father-in-law getting into all kinds of mischief is almost impossible according to him, they were inseparable two best friends that nothing could separate until the day life led them down different paths and every time he talks to me about that time I see a touch of nostalgia in his eyes as if he were reliving those memories for a few moments for. And, without me realizing it, he managed to make me feel at home.
And as for my mother-in-law... What can I say about this woman?
Since the reception evening, something has changed between us. She still talks to me kindly she greets me sometimes asks me if I slept well or if everything is okay but that's where it ends nothing more. I even feel like she has distanced herself from me even more since that famous evening or maybe I'm simply imagining things. I don't know but one thing is certain... This distance bothers me enormously because, without even realizing it, I have grown to really appreciate my mother-in-law. Since Catherine told me her story everything she went through everything she had to endure to get where she is today I look at her with a lot of respect and above all with a lot of admiration. She is a strong woman. A courageous woman and I would really like to get closer to her I simply hope that one day, she will let me have a place in her heart.
As for Laurène I have to admit that I was wrong about her. At first, I took her for a real brat a spoiled girl who couldn't stand my presence a daddy's girl who gets everything she wants. Everything immediately. But I was wrong. I mostly think that she is a deeply lonely young girl at least that's what I understood while talking with Samira. Every time she sees me laughing with the others or spending time with the family. I notice the same expression in her eyes. Not jealousy but rather longing. Longing to have the same thing as if she too wanted to be part of all this and as soon as our eyes meet she immediately looks away and almost runs away like a thief caught red-handed. I simply think she is lost that she doesn't know how to approach others. However, with Tony, it's completely different the two of them are very close they understand each other almost without speaking. They only need to exchange a look for the other to understand and I have to admit that sometimes I envy them a little.
Today, I wake up very early because I have decided to prepare breakfast for the whole family and especially to share it all together. I know that my father-in-law said not to gather the whole family around the same table to avoid any problems but it's stronger than me.
I grew up in a family where love also came through little gestures. Every morning, Mom prepared breakfast while Dad set the table we would all four sit together we would laugh, talk, tell each other about our dreams from the night or our plans for the day, it was a simple moment but so precious. In our home, no one left the house without having had breakfast with the family it was almost a tradition and today I want to bring a little bit of that tradition here even if, for once, I have to break that famous rule after all what could possibly happen that would be so serious?
Dressed in a long sky-blue dress with long sleeves, delicately decorated with small floral patterns a pair of sandals adorns my feet my hair is tied in a low bun that gently reveals my face around my neck rests the necklace Grandma gave me. I never take it off I love it far too much. On my wrist shines the bracelet Tony gave me that one too, I never take it off. A light makeup a few drops of perfume I look at myself one last time in the mirror. A smile stretches across my lips
— Come on, Esther...
I leave the room heading toward the kitchen. The mansion is still immersed in an almost unreal calm it is only six in the morning which explains why the living room is completely empty. I finally arrive in front of the kitchen barely have I stepped through the door when I discover Maria, the family's housekeeper, giving instructions to the other employees seeing her work one could almost believe that she is the lady of the house. When she notices me, she immediately turns her head toward me with a smile on her face. A smile that I would describe as forced or perhaps even fake.
— Good morning, Mrs. Esther. What are you doing here so early?
I return her smile. Good morning, Maria. I'm here to prepare breakfast for the whole family.
As soon as I finish my sentence silence falls throughout the kitchen. Everyone freezes some even widen their eyes as if I had just announced something unthinkable.
Maria finds her smile again but this time it seems a little more tense.
I frown slightly.
— Why are you all so surprised?
— No, Madame... it's just that... She pauses briefly before continuing. We are here to do everything. Why bother yourself? Let us take care of breakfast.
I smile kindly at her. Don't worry, Maria. I am this family's daughter-in-law. Preparing a meal from time to time doesn't bother me. On the contrary, it makes me happy.
She hesitates for a moment. But, Madame... if Madame Elisabeth were to find out that you cook...
I let out a small laugh.
— Let me handle my mother-in-law. You, go take care of the other household tasks instead.
For a second, she stares at me as if trying to figure out whether I'm joking but when she sees that I'm not she finally nods, visibly reluctantly.
— Very well. She turns to the other employees. Come with me.
They all begin leaving the kitchen.
— Wait.
They all stop at the same time and turn toward me.
— I'll need a little help.
Maria immediately speaks again. Oh, in that case, take Iris. She is very good at her job.
I look at the young woman she has just pointed to. Then at the other employees, something tells me that Maria is once again trying to decide for me my gaze calmly moves across the group and stops on another young woman.
I smile at her while pointing at her with my finger.
— You. You can stay. I turn to the others. As for you, go back to your duties.
Maria immediately opens her mouth. — But, Madame...
— It's fine, Maria. I have made my choice.
The young girl I pointed to doesn't move instead she instinctively turns her head toward Maria as if waiting for her permission.
I frown slightly before Maria has time to say anything, I speak again in a calm but firm voice:
— It wasn't a request but an order.
The young girl jumps slightly and immediately lowers her head. Yes, Madame.
I stop in front of her and give her a much gentler smile.
— What's your name?
Her face relaxes a little. My name is E...Eva, Madame.
— Nice to meet you, Eva. I'm Esther.
She timidly raises her eyes toward me, visibly surprised that I introduced myself to her meanwhile, Maria watches us in silence her face was expressionless but I can almost feel that she doesn't like this situation at all, finally she turns on her heels and leaves the kitchen with the rest of the staff.
This woman really likes behaving as if she were the mistress of this house unfortunately for her she will have to understand that this role does not belong to her.
I turn toward Eva
— So, starting today, when it's just the two of us, simply call me Esther.
— I... I'm not sure Madame Maria will appreciate it... she says hesitantly.
I let out a soft sigh.
Honestly, this woman seems to have a lot of power over the staff.
— Don't worry about Maria. I am this family's daughter-in-law, if anyone has something to reproach you for, they will have to come through me first.
She looks at me for a few seconds as if she were trying to figure out whether I'm telling the truth a small smile finally appears on her face.
— Thank you, Esther.
— Good.
I look around me.
The huge kitchen is perfectly tidy everything is already ready the ingredients are carefully arranged the pots are shining the countertops are spotless.
I gently rub my hands together.
— So, what do we start with?
Eva looks at me curiously.
— You really cook, Esther?
I immediately turn my head toward her.
— Why do you ask?
— A lot of people of your status don't even know how to cook an egg...
I can't help but laugh. Luckily Mom can't hear you. She always said that a woman should know how to handle herself in every situation she taught me how to cook when I was very young. Dad even used to say that I was his favorite little chef.
Thinking back on those memories, a tender smile stretches across my lips. I miss them so much. I quickly push that thought away today is a beautiful day I don't want to be sad.
I gently clap my hands.
— Come on! Today, the whole family is having breakfast together and I want them to remember it for a long time.
Eva smiles too.
— In that case... what are we going to prepare?
I place a finger on my chin.
— Hmm... Crepes. Pancakes. Scrambled eggs. French toast. Nice and hot croissants. A fruit salad. Freshly squeezed orange juice. Hot chocolate for the children. Coffee for the adults. And...
I pause.
— I think we're going to have a lot of work.
Eva lets out a soft laugh.
— A lot... yes.
I smile back at her.
— So, what are we waiting for? Let's get to work!
We both get to work in the kitchen. For a few minutes... Silence reigns throughout the kitchen only the sound of pots, running water and utensils comes to break it I don't really like this kind of silence I prefer when people talk when they tell their stories. So I decide to do something about it.
— So, Eva... tell me a little about your life. She immediately looks up at me. — My life? Yes. I give her a smile. We're going to spend a good time together, so we might as well get to know each other. Her face immediately relaxes. I think she was just waiting for someone to give her permission to speak. And once she starts... Impossible to stop her. She tells me that she has two younger brothers who are still in high school. That their parents died several years ago. Since then, all three of them have been living with their aunt. I feel my heart tighten as I listen to her. Despite everything... She keeps smiling. She explains to me that she works at the Arrison mansion to help her aunt and pay for her brothers' education. Then, without warning... Her cheeks turn slightly red she shyly lowers her eyes.
— And I... I also have a boyfriend.
I immediately smile. Really?
She quickly nods. Yes... normally, he will soon come to officially ask my aunt for my hand.
This time, I smile even more. Well... congratulations.
She lets out a little laugh, completely embarrassed. Thank you, Esther.
I continue mixing the batter while listening to her talk. She really is talkative, very talkative even now, I understand why Maria was giving her a dirty look earlier before leaving the kitchen. A girl who talks this much must annoy more than one person.
And what if I took advantage of this talkative side of hers? After all, my curious side is much stronger than my reason. I put on the most natural expression possible.
— Tell me, Eva... how long have you been working here?
She thinks for a few seconds before answering.
— It will soon be five years, Esther.
Five years...
I think quickly.
Only five years that's already a lot but not enough.
According to what Samira told me, everything changed on the day of their grandfather's death and if I'm not mistaken, it was nineteen years ago in other words, Eva wasn't even working here yet so she certainly won't be able to answer the questions I'm asking myself.
— Okay.
An hour later, everything is finally ready.
I look at the table with a satisfied smile.
Crepes. Pancakes. Scrambled eggs. Toasted bread. Croissants still warm. A large fruit salad. Freshly squeezed orange juice. Coffee. Hot chocolate. For a first attempt, I'm rather proud of the result.
I turn my head toward Eva.
— Can you help me set the table?
She smiles.
— With pleasure, Esther.
A few minutes later, everything is perfectly set up.
I look at the dining room one last time before turning toward her. I walk over to her.
— Eva.
— Yes?
— You stay here.
She looks at me without understanding. You don't move no matter who asks you to or what anyone tells you, you stay here.
— Okay...
I give her a small reassuring smile.
— Thank you.
I don't know why but I have absolutely no trust in Maria I prefer to stay cautious. You can never be too careful.
I take off my apron, fold it carefully and place it on the countertop before leaving the kitchen heading upstairs.
It's time to wake up the only person capable of helping me turn this breakfast into a real success... and not a fiasco.
I arrive in front of their bedroom I gently open the door and as I expected they are both still asleep.
I can't help but smile. What lazybones I gently close the door behind me before walking toward the large bed.
Amira is sleeping completely wrapped up in her blanket she looks like a little burrito.
I sit on the edge of the bed and gently shake her shoulder.
— Amira...
No reaction.
— Amira...
She moves slightly before burying her head even deeper into her pillow.
— Mmm... let me sleep for another five minutes...
— You already told me that two minutes ago.
— Then... another five minutes...
I smile impossible mission I then turn toward Amir he is sleeping on his stomach, one arm hanging in the air I gently run my fingers through his hair.
— Amir...
He groans.
— Mmm...
— Get up.
He opens one eye before immediately closing it again.
— Mamoune... let me sleep... I'm tired...
I look at both children one after the other.
They really are just as difficult to wake up as each other. Luckily, I know a foolproof method.
I stand in the middle of the room and put on the most natural expression possible.
— Well... too bad I brought an entire box of chocolates but since everyone is sleeping I'm going to eat them all by myself.
As soon as I finish my sentence...
— WHAT?!
Both little heads shoot up at the same time. I almost jump.
Amira blinks several times.
— Chocolates?
Amir practically jumps onto the bed.
— Where?
I can barely hold back my laughter.
— Ah, you're finally awake.
The two immediately understand.
Samira narrows her eyes.
— You tricked us...
— Completely.
Amir crosses his arms with a little pout.
— That's not nice...
I laugh out loud this time.
— Come on, get up, both of you, today we're having breakfast all together.
The two children exchange a look and jump out of bed at the same time.
— Yay!
I help them get ready. Amir chooses a pair of dark blue jeans with a white T-shirt decorated with a little green dinosaur and white sneakers.
Amira, on the other hand, puts on a pretty pale yellow dress that twirls when she spins around, along with little white sandals. I take the time to style their hair before watching them for a few seconds.
They are both truly beautiful they inherited the same eyes as their mother big deep brown eyes expressive eyes that sparkle whenever they smile on the other hand, for the rest, they look a lot like Ibrahim his smile the shape of his face his way of laughing even their little funny faces are his.
I can't help but smile.
When you look at them, it's impossible to deny whose children they are.
— Are we handsome? Amir asks, spinning around.
I smile.
— The most handsome.
Amira takes her brother's hand.
— So, Princess Esther... Are we going to eat the chocolates now?
— Breakfast first then we'll negotiate about the chocolates.
Both let out exactly the same sigh.
— Adults always say that...
I quickly explain to them what they need to do.
— Perfect. Come on, spread out!
They each run off in different directions.
I head toward Samira's room. I arrive in front of her door and knock gently the door opens to reveal Samira still in her pajamas.
I look her up and down before raising an eyebrow.
— You're still in your pajamas?
She yawns without any embarrassment.
— Yes... I'm waiting for my breakfast. she looks behind me. Besides, it's taking a long time today.
I smile innocently.
— Yes because it's not coming.
She immediately frowns.
— What do you mean?
— Because breakfast is being served downstairs.
Her eyes suddenly widen.
— What?! But who—
— It's my idea. So get ready and come downstairs quickly. I say, giving her a big smile.
— Esther...
I don't even give her time to answer before I run down the hallway laughing.
— Hurry up!
I run without really looking ahead at that moment I'm only thinking about one thing which is waking everyone up. Suddenly... I bump into something or rather someone.
My body tips slightly forward before I can even lose my balance, two large hands come to rest on my hips to hold me steady.
I slowly raise my head and find myself face to face with my husband's beautiful brown irises. For a few seconds I remain completely still my heart, on the other hand, decides once again to do exactly what it wants.
It's beating so hard that I feel like it's going to jump right out of my chest.
I instinctively lower my eyes. He is wearing black sweatpants that perfectly hug his muscular legs and a white T-shirt slightly clinging to his chest from the sweat. His black hair is slightly messy, probably because of his workout. A few drops of sweat are still sliding down his temple to his neck. His cologne mixed with that slight smell of sweat I don't know why but I find that it suits him incredibly well.
— Are you planning to break a speed record in the mansion's hallways?
I raise my head toward him.
— Huh?
— I've been hearing you running around for a while now.
I can't help but smile.
— I'm waking everyone up.
— By running?
— It's faster.
— You know you can simply walk?
— Yes. I know.
He looks at me for a moment, narrowing his eyes.
— Why are you already running?
— Because I have to wake everyone up before breakfast gets cold.
— Breakfast?
I smile proudly at him.
— Breakfast is downstairs today. I prepared it myself.
He raises an eyebrow. I'm starting to know him now every time he does that it's because he doesn't understand something.
— Why downstairs? And who decided that?
— Me. I want everyone to come downstairs and eat around the same table.
— You don't know what happens here when the whole family eats together.
— I do. I say, shrugging.
— And despite that, you still want to try?
I nod confidently.
— As long as I'm there, no one will argue.
— You're quite brave, he says in a murmur.
I swallow with difficulty his voice has changed slightly that's unsettling.
— I... I know.
A slight smile appears at the corner of his lips. That smile... Oh my God that smile makes me melt, my chest immediately warms up.
— You really think you're going to manage to calm this family?
I slightly raise my chin despite my heart beating wildly.
— Yes.
— Even my father?
— Yes.
— Even Grandma?
I smile.
— Especially Grandma.
This time, he lets out a small laugh. I completely melt.
Before I can even understand what he's doing, he gently presses me against the immense marble column my hands immediately land on his T-shirt. My heart jumps in my chest. He leans slightly toward me his face is only a few centimeters from mine I can feel his breath against my skin his hands are placed precisely on my hips as if he doesn't want me to move away his eyes don't leave mine.
— I have to admit that since you've been here... you've been fixing a lot of things.
I can't help but smile.
— Yes... it's kind of my role, after all.
— I admit it. But your role isn't only about fixing things in this house.
I frown.
— What do you mean?
Instead of answering... he slowly moves his face toward mine my breath catches for a moment, without warning, he buries his face into my neck. I immediately jump.
— T... Tony...
No answer. He simply stays there I feel him slowly inhale, as if he were enjoying my scent. A shiver runs through my entire body.
— I love your scent... he murmurs against my skin.
I remain completely still, unable to say a single word my brain refuses to function properly my heart seems determined to jump out of my chest.
I feel his warm breath caress my neck and slowly... very slowly his lips gently brush against my skin once, a second time, a third time again and again and again Soft kisses so gentle that they make me close my eyes without even realizing it.
— T... Tony... My voice is nothing more than a whisper.
He still doesn't answer as if he were simply enjoying this moment. Every kiss sends a new shiver through my body awakening something new inside me... A kind of... warmth that becomes more and more persistent with every kiss he places on my neck. and for the first time I let all my defenses fall, all my doubts, my fears, my wounds, I leave them behind. I simply let myself fall into his presence into his... his warmth into his certainty. My legs begin to tremble slightly I instinctively hold onto his T-shirt I don't even know anymore if it's to keep my balance or simply because I no longer have the strength to let go of him.
What is he doing to me... He tightens his embrace just enough for me to feel that I can give myself completely without fear. I take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. — T... Tony... I... someone could see us. He doesn't answer me but eventually raises his head and our eyes meet time seems to stand still.
— Do you want us to stop?
Of course I don't want us to stop but I still can't tell him that.
— Someone could see us... My voice trembles slightly despite myself.
He brings his face closer to my ear and whispers: — I don't care if people see us. You're my wife, so I have the right to do whatever I want. And believe me, it won't bother anyone.
He pauses and fixes his eyes on mine.
— Now, answer my question. Do you want us to continue?
I open my mouth to answer... but a female voice interrupts us from behind. Tony straightens up, but doesn't move away immediately his hands are still resting on my hips he exhales, visibly annoyed.
Deyla walks toward us with her eternal smile a white dress perfectly hugs her figure her long chestnut hair falls in a cascade down her back her hazel eyes shine with a mischief I know all too well. And that perfume... much too strong for my taste as always... she stops right behind Tony much too close to him. She doesn't even respect our privacy.
— Hello, hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Tony doesn't even bother to hide his annoyance.
— Yes, you are disturbing us, actually.
She rolls her eyes and looks at me.
— Hello, Esther.
— Hello, I simply reply.
She immediately turns her attention back to Tony.
— Tony, can I talk to you?
I turn my head toward Deyla. She is looking at us with that smile I can no longer stand. A perfectly polite smile, yet there is something in her eyes that makes me feel like she was waiting for precisely this moment. Her attention lingers for a second too long on Tony's hands, then moves back to my face. I understand immediately: she wants to talk to Tony alone. I am in the way. Of course. Why would I stay here when she wants to talk to her friend? Well... To Tony. But at the same time, a small wave of relief runs through me, immediately followed by a disappointment that I quickly try to suppress. If Deyla pulls him away from me, I won't have to bear the weight of his gaze anymore or wonder what Tony really wants to stay. But this thought brings me no comfort. I don't want to leave Tony to her, even though I no longer know very well if I can still consider him mine.
— I'll leave you two... I try to pull away again, but he doesn't let me go. On the contrary, with the slightest movement, his hands tighten around my waist.
His thumbs come to a stop against my ribs, as if he were trying to keep me from disappearing. Or to remind me that, just a few seconds ago, I was the one he was holding like this. I look up, surprised.
— Tony... I stare at him, bewildered. A dull beat echoes in my chest, so strong that I feel like he could hear it.
— Can you let me go? Still nothing. Behind him, Deyla slowly crosses her arms. Her smile fades slightly. Her eyes move from his hands on my hips to my face, then back to Tony. I don't know why, but her expression makes me uncomfortable.
— Tony...
This time, my voice is barely a whisper. He still doesn't answer. Yet his gaze remains fixed on me, as if he were waiting for me to give up on leaving. Behind him, Deyla barely moves, but I can feel her impatience slipping into the silence. Then he leans toward me. My heart races again. I feel the warmth of his body drawing closer, his breath brushing against my skin, and my shoulders tense before I can stop myself. His face moves closer until his forehead gently rests against mine. His eyes remain locked on mine.
— You and I... this isn't over.
His voice is low and calm, as if he wanted me to be the only one listening to him.
My heart skips a beat. I remain unable to answer. My lips part, but no sound comes out. Why are a few words from him always enough to make me lose all my composure? My cheeks burn. A slight tremor runs through my hands, which I keep still between us, afraid that the slightest movement might betray what his closeness does to me. Tony keeps his forehead against mine for a few more seconds, as if he wants to make sure I have understood perfectly. Then he finally straightens up. His hands slowly leave my waist. His fingers barely glide along my sides before disappearing leaving a void and a strange sensation settles in. The air suddenly feels colder against my skin, while my hips still remember the burning warmth of his palms. I hate this. I hate even more that I'm starting to get used to his presence. Deyla says nothing anymore. Her face is closed off, her jaw clenched. She looks at Tony, then at me, as if she has just understood something she didn't want to admit. Her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag. I don't know why, but it almost makes me smile. This satisfaction surprises me and makes me uncomfortable. I don't like seeing Deyla unsettled, but I like even less the person I'm becoming when her jealousy makes me happy. I wish I could be above this rivalry, so I wouldn't need to measure my victory by someone else's defeat. Yet, I remain hanging on to every reaction from Deyla. Tony finally turns toward Deyla. His expression changes immediately. Becoming calm and serious again, as if nothing that happened mattered.
— What did you want to tell me?
I finally move away from Tony, not without giving him one last look. He is already occupied with Deyla. I shake my head slightly to chase away the last thoughts running through my mind. I have to focus on breakfast ....
....
When I arrive in front of her room, I knock softly before entering.
_ Come in, says the warm voice from the other side of the door. I enter and find her sitting in her armchair, glasses resting on her nose and a book in her hand. As soon as she sees me, a bright smile spreads across her lips.
— Hello, Grandma.
— Hello, Princess Esther.
She opens her arms. I smile and walk toward her. She pulls me into her arms. Her arms wrap around me with a tenderness that still touches me just as much. She hugs me and gently strokes my hair. Like a true grandmother. I love when she does that.
— Look at this beauty... You are even more beautiful today. I laugh softly.
— You say that every day.
— Because it's true every day. A tender warmth tightens in my chest.
I love this woman so much. With her, she is so simple, so warm, so tender, so strong, even though this embrace is less firm than usual. I notice it without being able to shake off this feeling. She pulls back a little to look at me,
— You ran through the hallway again? I widen my eyes.
— How do you know?
— You're completely out of breath. I can't help but laugh.
If only you knew why I'm out of breath.
— Breakfast is downstairs today. She stares at me, surprised.
— Downstairs?
— Yes.
— But why?
— I prepared breakfast for everyone.
I want us all to eat together. She gently shakes her head.
— You really are trying to bring some order to this family.
— I'm mostly trying to make sure we have a good time. She tries to stand up. As soon as she gets to her feet, her body sways and her knees almost give out beneath her. I immediately catch her.
— Then, let's go. She places her hands on the mattress and gets up. This time, I notice how slowly she moves. She braces herself, takes a deep breath, then straightens up carefully. The mattress creaks softly beneath her fingers, and that ordinary sound suddenly seems far too loud in the silence of the room. As soon as she is standing, she sways slightly.
My smile disappears.
— Grandma?
I step closer and gently take her arm.
— I'm fine, I'm fine...
But no. She's not fine. Her face looks tired, her strength seems to be leaving her. Her hand grips my arm with desperate strength.
— Are you sure you're okay?
— Yes, sweetheart.
I'm just a little tired. Her voice tries to sound light, but it lacks conviction.
— You know who you remind me of when I look at you.
— No, who?
— Me when I was younger.
— Ah yes, and you were as stubborn as me?
— Much more. We look at each other and then burst out laughing. No, seriously, you won't find two women like us anywhere.
We leave the room still laughing when she suddenly stops
— Oh!
I turn around.
— What?
— I forgot my phone.
— Okay, I'll go get it.
I go back into the room, looking around for her phone when I spot it on the bedside table next to a small box of the medication she takes all the time.
I look at the box, then at the phone, before looking back at the medication.
My curiosity finally gets the better of me. I gently take the box between my fingers and turn it over, reading the instructions, the name of the medication, the composition... but I find nothing strange, so I put the box back, take the phone, and start to leave when I remember all the fatigue, the slowness she's been experiencing these past few days. I want to know what she's really taking.
So I carefully take one tablet from the blister pack, without touching the rest, and slip it into my pocket.
I can have it examined later.
I immediately put the box back exactly where it was.
Then I take Grandma's phone and return to her.
— Sorry, I took a little while.
She smiles at me.
— It's nothing, my darling.
I approach her and hand her her phone.
— Here.
— Thank you very much, Princess Esther.
— No, you're the princess.
She looks at me seriously.
— In this house, I'm the queen.
I laugh.
— All right, Your Majesty.
— That's better.
She holds out her hand and we walk hand in hand downstairs toward the dining room.
When I arrive in the dining room, Amir and Amira are already there. — Did you do what I asked you to do?
— YEEESSS!
I smile at their enthusiasm.
I help Grandma to her seat.
A few moments later, Samira and Ibrahim arrive as well.
— How did they manage to get up at this hour? asks Ibrahim.
— Princess Esther woke us up! Amira answers with a big smile. Samira opens her eyes wide.
— But how did you do it?
I put a finger to my lips.
— It's a secret. Mum's the word. They laugh before going to sit down next to each other.
Then my mother-in-law and Dad arrive. I immediately walk over to Dad.
— I know I'm breaking the rules by doing this... but please... I want us all to eat together, just this once. He looks at me for a moment, then a smile appears on his face. He places a kiss on my forehead like he always does.
— That's good, my daughter.
You're making the right choice. Come on, let's go before it gets cold. I smile at him. My mother-in-law looks at me in turn and, unexpectedly, she smiles at me too before going to sit right next to Dad.
— GOOD MORNING, FAMILYYYY!
Ibrahim grimaces.
— Why are you yelling? You're giving me a headache.
— I YELL IF I WANT TO! And if you have a headache, tell your wife to give you a pill.
— Laurène, stop making so much noise and come eat, my mother-in-law sighs.
Grandma shakes her head.
— All she does is yell.
Laurène puts a hand over her heart.
— I knew I wasn't loved here.
She goes and sits next to Grandma and Ibrahim.
— Now you know. We haven't loved you for a long time, Ibrahim replies.
Laurène turns to Samira.
— Samira, talk to your husband.
Samira sighs.
— Don't drag me into your business.
— Well said, Habiba, Ibrahim replies.
Laurène gives him a dark look.
— Don't start with me.
— But I didn't say anything.
My mother-in-law sighs as well.
— Don't tell me you're going to start bickering now. Grandma shakes her head.
— The only person to blame is your daughter. I can't help but laugh at their little argument. I walk around them and take my seat.
Dad immediately intervenes.
— Leave my daughter alone.
Laurène flashes a huge smile.
— Thank you, my beloved daddy!
I knew you were the only one who loved me in this family.
Grandma rolls her eyes.
— Take your ugly daughter and go eat her if you want.
— Exactly, my mother-in-law adds.
— But Grandma, I'm far from ugly. Dad crosses his arms.
— You're all just jealous of my daughter.
Laurène points at everyone.
— Tell them, okay!
Grandma immediately replies.
— Your daughter is just ugly, just like you. I still wonder how your wife could ever look at you.
Samira opens her eyes wide.
— Hey, old woman! What do you mean my daddy is ugly? He's the most handsome of them all, my beloved daddy!
Ibrahim places a hand over his chest.
— What do you mean the most handsome? I thought that was me.
Laurène pats him on the shoulder.
— There's no need to be jealous like that, you too.
— Of course there is! My place is being threatened, I have to defend myself!
The whole table bursts into laughter.
My mother-in-law points at my stepfather.
— You have nothing to worry about. That one is ugly, so your place is safe.
Dad puts a hand over his heart.
— Betrayed by his own wife...
Ibrahim flashes a mischievous smile.
— That means the way is clear for me to win you over, mother-in-law. Dad immediately straightens up.
— Hey! Hands off my wife!
Samira clasps her hands under her chin.
— Oh, that's cute... Dad is protecting his sweetheart. Laurène smirks.
— Too bad for you. Mom doesn't recognize your worth. Don't worry, Daddy, I'll find you a beautiful blonde model who will satisfy you. She winks at him.
My mother-in-law grabs her spoon. — Hey! I'm going to throw this food right in your face!
Samira bursts out laughing at the horrified look on her mother's face. — Calm down, Mom, it's not like she's actually going to do it.
— Your sister is a real little devil, you never know with her. I'd rather warn her now, she says seriously. Grandma bursts out laughing.
— Oh, the jealous one!
The whole table bursts into laughter.
— Mom?! my mother-in-law protests.
— What? Aren't you the one who said my son was ugly?
We all burst out laughing. Seriously... she is actually putting the blame on her.
My mother-in-law looks at her, mouth open.
— But it's... you... Grandma shrugs.
— Oh... that's enough. They all start laughing again. Amira timidly raises her hand.
— Well, I think you're very handsome, Jiddi.
Dad smiles tenderly.
— The truth always comes from the mouths of children. Thank you, my princess.
They all laugh. It feels so good to see this family laughing like this. Grandma gently taps the table with her hand.
— But where is Tony? I'm starving!
As soon as she has barely finished saying his name, footsteps echo in the hallway. Tony finally appears. Grandma immediately raises her hand.
— Well! It's about time you showed up! Tony gives a slight smile.
— Good morning, Grandma.
— Stop talking and come sit down. I'm hungry. The whole table bursts into laughter.
Tony gently shakes his head before walking over. He then walks around my chair and takes a seat beside me. Our eyes meet. He says nothing, but his little smile is enough to make me smile too.
Grandma taps the table again.
— Well! Now that everyone is here... Let's eat!
— Finally! exclaims Ibrahim.
— I thought I was going to starve to death, Laurène adds as she takes a piece of bread.
My mother-in-law gives her a little tap on the hand.
— We wait until everyone is served.
— But Mom...
— No buts. Laurène lets out a long sigh.
— This family is against me.
— Always has been, Ibrahim replies with a smile.
— You, don't talk to me.
_ You don't talk to me either.
Samira sighs.
_ Worse than children, those two.
This simple atmosphere warms my heart.
— Good morning, everyone.
The whole table turns toward the door. Deyla. So she hadn't left yet... Everyone answers her greeting. Except Laurène.