Tadeus rips his clothes off as soon as they reach the bedroom. They step into the shower, where Alexander savors every kiss, prolonging the pressure of their lips until passion leaves no space between their abdomens. Tadeus takes a breath, presses his left cheek against Alexander's, seeks out the hands caressing the nape of his neck, and intertwines his fingers to guide them down to the small of his back — Please, touch me.
Alexander feels a wave of heat wash over his entire body, intensifying every time he caresses his buttocks, but the moans caused by the movements of his fingers make his member stiffen. He lifts him so that each leg is at his side until they reach the bed, where he stimulates his sex, making him ejaculate into his hand. After applying the lube, he pushes his cock in gently, savoring every gasp of pleasure until he's completely inside. He sways his hips and grinds against him, never taking his eyes off him as his hands are clasped above his head, receiving every one of his suffocating kisses. In that tender moment, Alexander kneels, pulls him close to his chest, caresses his back, and brushes his cheek against Tadeus'.
— Why are you stopping?
— Give me a moment.
Tadeus rests his chin on his shoulder again until he settles him onto the pillow.
— Turn around — Alexander gently runs his hands over his shoulders, caressing his ribs until he reaches his buttocks, where he returns with his lips toward his neck. He caresses the backs of his hands with his fingertips and penetrates him while filling the spaces between his fingers.
— Ah…! ha… ha… mmm…
Tadeus' moans urge him to dive in his insides more intensely. He leans on his shoulders and lifts his torso to please him with greater fervor.
— Ha! Ah… mmm…
— Ha… Fuck it feels so good. Do you like me?
— Ah, ha… Alex-xander… I think I'm gonna come.
The man rests one hand on the headboard, guides the other toward his lover's buttocks, and clings to him while biting his lower lip as he comes inside him. — Ha… ahh… Forgive me, I couldn't hold back — he says without stopping as he continues to thrust their bodies together firmly, over and over. He quickens his movements until he hears him gasp with pleasure.
— It's okay — Tadeus rests his ear on his lover's abdomen. He closes his eyes as he traces circles between his navel and scar — Can I ask you something uncomfortable?
— Anything you want, love.
— How do you deal with the guilt?
— Hmm…?
— You seemed really happy about this cancer treatment you developed. Is that how you deal with the guilt over all the harm your drugs have caused?
— I never wanted this life; I never wanted to be alone.
— Let others live that life — Tadeus says, looking up at Alexander's face — I don't think I could bear it if anything bad happened to you.
— I could say the same thing — he says, running his knuckles over the scar on his chest. That look reminds him of that time in the backyard of his house — It's not that easy.
— You can turn yourself in. If you hire a good lawyer, he'll be able to get you the minimum sentence — he says, turning his face back toward his abdomen and wrapping arms around his torso — How long is that, five, ten years? I'll be by your side for as long as it takes.
— I can't.
— Then you'll never be able to protect me.
Tadeus sits up on the bed, ready to leave, but is stopped by a hand on his arm — Where are you going?
— I just need something to drink
He goes down the stairs, pushing the water with his feet, splashing the lower kitchen cabinets. He pours himself a glass of water in the dark; there's nothing on the floor where he stands when he hears the bedroom door open, but he doesn't come down. "Did I leave the tap open?" No, it's closed. He checks once more before returning to the sight of palms pressed against the kitchen floor as if it were crystal; the water reaches his calf, and his hands aren't just imprints, he can see the mole at the inner bend of his elbow through the glass. "But what is this?" he says, adding to the water level with tears. He brings his hands together, interlacing his fingers through the barrier, but he can't make out the face no matter how much he submerges his own.
A warm hand presses against his chest in the opposite direction while he feels another caress the upper part of his back, it's him —...
— What?
— Then is it your chest, or your stomach? Tell me what hurts.
— I think I slipped on the water that… — he stands up — I spilled.
Alexander looks at the full glass on the counter and then back down at the floor. He makes him a herbal drink before returning to the bedroom holding his hand.
In the morning, Tadeus wakes up in an empty bed, does some stretches, sings in the shower, and puts on the first thing he finds in the closet. He decides to go downstairs after checking the nightstand and the bathroom shelf.
— Did you sleep well?
Tadeo glances at the analog clock. "No wonder I felt so refreshed." He sees his medicine box next to the centerpiece — Are you coming with me to the Halloween festival?
— I can't wait to see your costume.
— he says with a neutral expression. He gets up to open the door as soon as the doorbell rings — Thank you so much for coming. Please come in. This is the person I was telling you about.
— My name is Paulina Cundumí. I'm the doctor you requested for a private appointment — she says, extending her hand. Tadeus shakes her hand weakly and turns his gaze toward Alexander — If you'd like some privacy, I could see you in a private room.
— Excuse me, but I have no idea why you're here. I didn't request any…
— He was in an accident several months ago and underwent thoracic surgery; it's possible he didn't heal properly or needs further testing.
— You said it yourself, it was almost a year ago.
— Last night he was writhing in pain, gasping as if he couldn't breathe.
— I'm fine! I just fell.
— Please, love? — whispers when he sees the doctor beginning to put away her instruments.
— I accept to be examined — Tadeus says, taking a seat next to the doctor.
— Describe your symptoms; if you can give me more information about your previous surgery, it will be very helpful in determining the possible cause.
— I have a copy of your medical history; I'll go get it.
— Please bare your chest — Tadeus obeys as she takes out her stethoscope — Breathe in as deeply as you can, hold it, and exhale slowly. One more time. Once more, breathe in slowly, that's it… Did you have open heart surgery? You don't have to tell me all the details; I'm just here to take care of you.
— No, it was to treat a fracture in my sternum and… — he sighs — some ribs.
— Punctured lung?
— No, but I inhaled a lot of sand, so they had to perform a lung lavage.
— When was your last checkup?
— Here they are, all the information about your treatment — says Alexander.
— May I?
— Of course — Tadeus replies.
— So you had a checkup more than six months ago.
— I had a checkup two weeks ago when… I injured my leg.
Paulina glances at the cane next to him; she continues reading for several seconds until she nods and begins to pack up her things — Did they take a chest X-ray?
— One of my abdomen, I believe?
— Your appointment time is up. Come to my office next week so I can take an X-ray. If you continue to feel pain or fatigue after light physical activity, come in right away — she says, standing up.
— Can you tell us if you have any idea what's wrong? — Alexander walks her to the door.
— Everything seems to be in order; I don't want to alarm you with unfounded speculation. For now, it's best to wait for the test results.
— That wasn't very convincing — gripes after closing the door.
— I'm in perfect condition. Besides this, clearly — Tadeus smiles stomping his cane.
— You'd understand my concern if you knew what I saw that day — he says, caressing his face — My New Year's wish was to see you open your eyes.
Tadeus gives him a kiss that lingers as he feels the hands on either side of his face reach around to the back of his head.