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The Majority Leader's speech announced many recent actions by the Senate which changed society and sexuality forever. "It's common knowledge that girls who smoke are much better cocksuckers, and far more willing to do it. To improve the states of our economy and morale, we recently reached an agreement with lobbyists for Tobaccorp Inc. All females have a new constitutional right to vape, and to smoke safe cigarettes once they are ten or older. States cannot impose bans or restrictions. Police, businesses, parents, and teachers must allow women and girls to smoke or vape anytime, anywhere.
"All girls ten to twenty-one are required to smoke at least five cigarettes daily, while sitting in a male relative's lap naked, and preferably in public. Those under ten will practice by sucking on vapes. Mothers should teach their daughters to vape when they start reading, around age three or four. All schools will start selling safe cigarettes to girls ten or older, and vapes to any females who ask. Every girl in kindergarten or elementary school gets a free pack of vapes each Monday, and can buy more at lunch or between classes. Ideally they will be strongly addicted to nicotine by age ten, so they will smoke multiple packs of cigarettes daily.
"Over the next week, Tobaccorp Inc. will supply all females ten to twenty-one a free carton of their healthy cigarettes, and girls five to ten get a free pack of vapes. Young females vaping and smoking is terribly important! The exercise from sucking on vapes and cigarettes for years strengthens muscles in the cheeks, allowing smokers to generate much greater suction power with a penis in their mouth. Great blowjobs benefit every straight guy everywhere! Encouraging girls to smoke might be the most important thing schools can do!
"Other than nicotine and a mild aphrodisiac, vapes and the new safe cigarettes are drug and toxin free, totally harmless. Instead of stinky tobacco smoke, they taste and smell like chocolate, mint, fruit, or other pleasant things. There are even weight loss cigs, which suppress appetite and taste like candy or a cheeseburger! The potent scents and flavors dull the smoker's olfactory senses, so they don't mind the taste of penises, semen, or vaginal fluid. This is a great day for oral sex lovers everywhere!"
He needed to pause his speech for an entire minute, before the crowd quieted enough for him to continue. "Lesbian ladies eighteen to twenty-one may switch from cigarettes to vaping. It would make them far less attractive, but they can even quit once they are over twenty-one, if they really want.
"To benefit female sexuality and the economy, all males ten and older are now required to drink two shots of whiskey, brandy, tequila, or other hard liquor at the end of each evening meal. The taste is much less pleasant than vaginal secretions, and the alcohol will reduce any hesitation they may have about penetrating or performing oral sex on less attractive females. Note that the requirement is for exactly two shots, no more. They are not allowed to drink any more alcohol until they provide orgasms to all female family members who ask. Drunkacorp will send all males ten or older three bottles of liquor each, and three to each younger boy on their tenth birthday."
The women in the audience were less enthusiastic about the alcohol than the men were about smoking, but most applauded politely. He continued, "We couldn't reach a compromise on several other matters, so we agreed to give each side what they wanted. Per the Faith party's platform, divorce and adultery are illegal, starting next month. If you don't like your spouse, find an attorney quick."
Huge numbers of people booed. Police arrested several who threw things. The Majority Leader was rushed off stage, but refused medical treatment for his minor injury, a cheek bruise from a huge flying 'horsecock' dildo.
Security people moved a clear plastic shield in front of the podium, then he concluded his speech. "To satisfy the Happiness party, polygamy is now legal. With parental permission anyone ten to seventeen can marry up to three spouses, male or female, related or not. At eighteen to twenty years old, they can marry another three. The maximum is twelve partners for people twenty-one to thirty, and twenty spouses for anybody over thirty" The crowd went wild, cheering and screaming.
When it finally quieted down, he continued, "To please the Faith party, parents have full sexual control of their children until age eighteen. Other than family feeding they decide who their kids have sex with, when, and how. If Daddy says his daughter can only kiss and make out with her husband while Daddy fingers her, so be it. If Dad says the only sex she can have with her husband is DP that includes Daddy, that's the way it is. Girls should marry their father or older brother before their first period, so he can help them insert their first tampon and get rid of her virginity soon after.
"If Mom only wants her sons to cum in her mouth instead of in other girls' bodies, the boys need to learn self-control, so they can pull out of their wife in time to feed Mommy their cum." The few teens in the audience booed, but most people cheered loudly.
"The only exceptions are the ban on causing injury, and that brothers and sisters may sexfeed each other at home or in public parks, at any time. Kissing a sibling's genitals is truly a good and Holy act!" Everyone knew it was true, and applauded with gusto.
"To encourage close families, the new Family First Church offers free weddings to girls who marry their fathers, and boys who marry their mother. Siblings and cousins who marry each other get a half-off discount. For a reasonable donation, the church's nuns and monks will provide oral sex to all wedding attendees.
"The Happiness party also redefined adultery as 'Sexual activity with anybody but clergy, family members, or porn performers.' Private sex with strangers is illegal now. If you want to screw anybody who isn't family or a church employee, you need to record your fuck session on video and post it to the internet. Be a good person, and share your joy with the world."