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Chapter 1 - Understanding Comes Later

I used to think the worst thing about insomnia was the silence.

Turns out, it's the way silence makes room for thoughts you spend all day running from.

At 3:12 a.m., my phone lay facedown on the bed, still buzzing faintly from a notification I didn't have the energy to read. My room smelled like damp curtains and unfinished nights. I had work in six hours. I didn't care.

Sleep hadn't wanted me for a long time.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth on autopilot, eyes half-open, mind elsewhere. There was a thin crack above the sink that I kept forgetting to fix. It reminded me of something fractured but holding.

I leaned closer to the glass.

For a moment, everything was normal.

Then my reflection blinked.

A second too late.

I froze.

The toothbrush slipped slightly in my hand, foam dripping onto the sink. My heart stuttered — not fast, not slow — confused.

I waited.

The girl in the mirror stared back at me.

Same dark circles.

Same messy hair.

Same face I'd been living in for twenty-two years.

Except something was off.

Not wrong.

Delayed.

I raised my hand.

The reflection followed — but not in sync.

Like bad internet lag.

A nervous laugh bubbled out of me. "Okay… no. Nope. We're not doing this."

I leaned back, rubbed my eyes hard, then looked again.

She was still there.

Watching me like I was the one out of place.

"You're tired," I whispered. "That's all. You've been tired for years."

The reflection didn't answer.

Instead, she smiled.

I didn't.

The smile wasn't cruel.

It wasn't kind.

It was… sad.

And somehow, disappointed.

My heartbeat began to hurt.

"Who are you?" I asked, barely louder than a breath.

The lights flickered.

Not violently — just enough to be noticed.

Pressure filled the room. Not heavy. Not light. Intentional. Like something leaning closer.

Then the reflection raised her hand.

I didn't.

The glass rippled.

Not shattered.

Not cracked.

Bent.

Like reality had softened.

I stumbled backward, my shoulder hitting the doorframe.

"No," I whispered. "No, no, no—"

The reflection's lips moved.

I heard the words inside my skull, perfectly clear.

You lived too long.

The mirror went black.

I screamed.

When the lights stabilized, I was alone.

Just me.

Pale.

Shaking.

Alive.

Too alive.

I didn't sleep after that.

Not because I was scared.

But because somewhere beneath the fear, beneath the denial, beneath the panic — I knew something worse.

I recognized her.

Not from this life.

From somewhere I had survived.

And the universe had finally noticed.

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