Ben
"You hungry?" Bryce asked as we woke up.
"Starving," I answered, "Want me to order something?"
"Why don't we go to the dining hall?"
Bryce's question caught me off guard. Did he really ask me to go to the dining hall with me?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.
"Just surprised that you asked me to go to the dining hall with you?"
Bryce laughed and said, "Well we're friends with benefits remember? Take off the benefits and we're friends, right?"
"True," I answered, "Let's go."
We got dressed and headed to the dining hall. There weren't that many students around, but I was a little worried that Bryce might change his mind if he's seen with me. Before, he didn't want to even be in the same room with me. But now that we have a sexual relationship, he's becoming more comfortable with me.
We grabbed our food and sat at a table near the soda dispenser. As we ate, I couldn't help but smile. Bryce definitely noticed that.
"Why are you smiling like that?" he asked. A mix of annoyance and curiosity in his voice.
"Just happy that you asked me to eat with you."
"It's just breakfast, Ben," he replied, "You don't have to make a big deal out of it."
"Well," I responded, "It's a big deal for me."
"Dude," he scolded quietly, "We're friends. Don't make this creepy."
"Are you busy tonight?"
"I'm free," said Bryce, "Why, What's up?"
"I was wondering," I answered, "If you wanted to have dinner with me tonight. I have to meet with my friend from high school and see when I am going to perform again. It would be great if I had someone to hang with afterwards."
Bryce
Ben was clearly asking me out on a date but gladly, I have come to know Ben like the back of my hand. He started to beg like a kid who wanted candy from the store.
"You think I'm going to feel sorry for you," I told him, "No way."
Ben turned away and started to pout like a little kid. Another one of those times where he looks so damn cute. I couldn't say no to that, no matter how much I thought this was a bad idea.
"What time do you want to head out?"
The moment I asked him that question, he immediately beamed and said, "You're such a nice guy, you know that?"
Hearing him say that about me made me blush and I couldn't help but smile. I knew that our relationship had changed from just simple roommates to friends with benefits and that Ben was wanting something more serious. The thought had crossed my mind when we went to the mall. We had a date already, but I still wasn't used to the idea that I have been having sex with a man let alone anything romantic.
The day flew by and we went downtown to a bar and grill type of restaurant. I was amazed at the place and immediately grabbed Ben's arm to protest.
"Wait, this is the place?"
Ben smiled and replied, "Yeah, this is where I perform. I wanted to show you the place."
Ben and I got a table in the back and offered to pay for dinner. The place had a very nice atmosphere. It wasn't one of those big name type of bar and grills, this one felt like a lounge more than anything. As the appetizers and drinks came, we were approached by a woman just a few years older than us.
"Ben," she called out, "I'll be with you in a bit, I have to take care of something real quick," She looked at me and asked him, "And who is this handsome fellow?"
"This is my friend, Bryce," Ben replied, "I thought I'd show him the place."
"I'm Jackie," she introduced herself to me, extending her hand to me, "This is my place."
"Nice to meet you, Miss Jackie," I offered my hand for her to shake, "You have a really nice place here."
"Thanks," she said, "My husband and I run it and we love having Ben perform here."
"Speaking of which," Ben said, "Tell Cole I'm getting a band together."
"Is he going to be in it?" Jackie asked, pointing to me.
"No," Ben answered, "Just Lee and myself and a couple new additions."
"Oh, nice," she replied, "Well I gotta run for a bit, and I'll be back to discuss your performance schedule."
She leaned in and whispered something in Ben's ear and he did the same. She giggled and told us to enjoy ourselves before leaving.
"What was that about?' I asked.
"She just asked me something, I'll be right back." Ben left and went to meet with Jackie and a good looking guy around her age stepped into an office. That guy more than likely is Jackie's husband, Cole.
After a few minutes, Ben came back and was smiling. However, his smile was different than usual. Cole and Jackie came and sat with us and started talking about future gigs with the band. While Cole and Ben were going over the details, Jackie talked to me about how special I was to Ben. According to her, he never brought anyone over unless they were in the band. At one point she asked if I was his boyfriend. I had told her we were just friends and she just told me to take care of him. She also told me that when he performs, girls are always flirting with him and giving him drinks as well as their numbers. The idea upset me. I didn't know why.
After the meeting, and a couple of drinks, Ben and I ordered a ride back to the dorm. During the ride I kept wondering why Ben's popularity with girls was bothering me so much.
"What's on your mind?" He asked me when we entered our dorm.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you upset over what Jackie and I were whispering?" Ben was way off but now that he mentioned it, I was curious to know.
"A little," I told him, "What did she say?"
"She asked if I truly see you as just a friend."
"And what did you tell her?" I wasn't upset about that or that she seemed to sense something between us both.
Ben cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. "I said yes, but I was lying to her. You are more than just a friend to me."
That familiar butterflies in the stomach feeling came and I freaked out. I gently pushed Ben away and said, "Maybe we need to keep this strictly sexual."
"Bryce," he pleaded, "You know how I feel about you."
"I'm taking a shower," I said, "I'm going to bed after." I rushed to the bathroom and for the first time our relationship had become this, I felt guilty. Guilty for being afraid to admit to him and myself that I too saw him as more than just a friend. As much as it hurt me to do this, I couldn't admit it to myself that I felt something for him.
Ben
Bryce and I had stopped having sex the whole week and it was starting to affect the atmosphere of the room. I would come home from class and he would leave a can of Dr Pepper for me with an I'm sorry note on it.
I decided to go home and visit my family. Immediately, my older brother, Bart, knew I was heartbroken again.
"What happened between you and your new boyfriend?" Bart asked.
"Nothing," I lied, "I just wanted to see you and Princess Billie,"
"She's with mom and dad at ballet," Bart answered, "You can't lie to me, baby bro. What's up?"
I told Bart about Bryce and our situation. I was half expecting him to say I was out of my mind. Instead, he told me to take some time and think about what we both want and talk it out.
Once the weekend came, I came home and saw there was a twelve pack of Dr Pepper and a note saying, Fine, don't talk to me. See if I care. Enjoy the soda. Hope you get diabetes and clogged arteries, asshole.
I laughed at the note and tucked it in my special drawer. I was putting the twelve pack away when Bryce came back.
"You know," I told him, "You don't have to do this."
"You're right," Bryce said, "I shouldn't have to do this. Just tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't have anything to say," I told him, avoiding eye contact with him so he doesn't see how hurt I am, "I'm going home after my gig tonight."
"The hell you are," he snapped back, "You think I like feeling like this? You think I enjoy the silent treatment?"
"I thought you'd be happy that this was happening," I answered, "Not that you care anyway."
"Of course I care, you idiot," he replied, "You think I enjoy girls fawning all over you and flirting with you? You think I enjoy being afraid to tell you how I really feel about you?"
"What do you mean?"
Bryce grabbed me by the shirt and kissed me as if he hadn't seen me in months instead of days. "You're more than a friend to me too, jackass."