While young Sheldon was racking his brain on how to win over Dr. Linkletter, Mike, who was chatting with Paige nearby, heard his cell phone ring.
"Hey, Regina... You're already at the entrance? ... Alright... I'll be right down..."
After learning Regina had driven all the way to the University of Texas specifically to pick him up, Mike hung up, waved goodbye to Dr. Sturgis, and headed out.
On his way past Dr. Linkletter's private office, he made a point to stop in and thank him for his guidance over the past few weeks. Mike could feel the genuine goodwill Dr. Linkletter had towards him.
When he arrived at the university entrance, he immediately spotted Regina sitting in her pink convertible.
Thanks to Mike's influence—and cutting back on those "energy bars" that were actually weight-gain bars—she had slimmed down perfectly. Of course, the curves that mattered had only become more impressive.
Dressed in a shimmering pink outfit that matched her flashy ride, she radiated a unique charm. While Regina gave the cold shoulder to the gawking passersby, her face lit up the moment she saw Mike.
"Mike, over here!"
Ignoring the envious glares from the guys around them, Mike hopped into the passenger seat like a pro. "Why didn't you put the top up?"
It was barely fifty degrees out, and her outfit wasn't exactly designed for warmth. Leaving the top down seemed pretty unwise.
"I didn't want you to miss me," Regina teased, tilting her head playfully.
It was hard to imagine the formerly domineering "Queen Bee" acting this clingy and sweet. After Mike gave her a hug, Regina put the roof up and started the engine.
"Karen and the girls are waiting for us at home," Regina said as she drove. "And Mom already booked a recording studio for us. How's the song coming along?"
Regina's mom, Amy, knew her daughter wanted to form a band and make a splash at the Winter Formal. Since she didn't have much else to do, she was incredibly enthusiastic about it. Honestly, she probably wanted to join the band herself.
"The Christmas song..." Mike thought for a moment. "I've got the rough draft in my head. I just need to polish it up a bit when we get back, and it'll be ready."
Even though Mike hadn't stressed about it, having a massive library of pop culture in his head made this easy. He had already picked the perfect track for the girls.
We Wish You a Merry Christmas—(The Pop Version).
This particular arrangement, perfect for a girl group, fit the "Plastics" vibe to a T.
"I knew you were the best!" Hearing that her group's song was secured, Regina turned excitedly to plant a kiss on Mike.
"Eyes on the road... Eyes on the road!" Mike quickly warned the driver.
---
Meanwhile, back at the UT lab, Dr. Sturgis was vividly recounting to young Sheldon how he had fended off Dr. Linkletter's attempts to hit on Meemaw at the mixer.
In his version of events, Dr. Linkletter was the villain harassing Connie, and Sturgis was the knight in shining armor who defeated the bad guy and won the lady's heart.
"Is this a fairy tale?" Sheldon grew more skeptical the more he listened.
It wasn't just Sheldon being sensitive; Dr. Sturgis was describing a classic "damsel in distress" trope. Naturally, Sturgis cast himself as the hero, Connie as the damsel, and poor Dr. Linkletter as the defeated creep.
"So, do you want to hear more details?" Dr. Sturgis asked, getting a little too into the story. He was starting to believe he actually had protected Connie that night.
"No, thank you." Sheldon shook his head in rejection. He paused, then added, "I think I know how to persuade Dr. Linkletter now."
Sheldon hadn't been chatting with Sturgis to hear about his love life; he was fishing for intel on Dr. Linkletter. Now that he knew Linkletter had a crush on his Meemaw, a bold plan formed in his mind.
"Are you sure you can convince him?" Dr. Sturgis asked, looking at Sheldon's confident expression with disbelief.
"Absolutely. I've found his weakness. It's guaranteed to work..." Sheldon declared before rushing out of the lab. He couldn't wait to execute his plan.
Confused, Dr. Sturgis turned to Paige in the corner. "Do you know what Sheldon is up to?"
"I have zero interest in his life," Paige replied, scooting her chair further into the corner. Her face clearly said: Leave me alone.
Clearly, Mike's departure had put the young genius in a sour mood.
"Oh. Okay then." Dr. Sturgis shrugged awkwardly and retreated to his private break room.
---
In Dr. Linkletter's private office, Sheldon eagerly presented him with a cup of hot coffee.
"Is there something else?" Dr. Linkletter took a sip, eyeing the boy who refused to leave. "If this is about the researcher position, don't even start."
The Coffee Bribery Method: Failed.
Sheldon initiated Plan B: The Meemaw Gambit.
"If you want, I can set you up with my Meemaw," Sheldon said, his eyes intense as Linkletter looked on in shock. "Of course, in exchange, I need you to approve my status as a researcher on the project."
Just as Sheldon was patting himself on the back for his brilliance, Dr. Linkletter snapped.
"Get out!"
Sheldon's offer was basically an insult to the aging bachelor. Seeing that selling out his grandmother had backfired and only enraged the man, Sheldon hesitantly walked toward the door.
But at the threshold, his eyes lit up. He turned back.
"Dr. Linkletter, do you like model trains? Maybe I could give you one..."
In Sheldon's world, no human being could resist the allure of a model train. This was the Bribery Method: Enhanced Edition.
"OUT!!!"
Before Sheldon could feel proud of his generosity, Dr. Linkletter roared again.
Sheldon's smile froze in the face of the Doctor's fury, and he scrambled out of the room.
"Why? How could anyone not like model trains..." Back in the main lab, Sheldon was baffled.
"Quiet. You're disturbing me," Paige snapped from her corner, annoyed by his muttering.
"I..." Sheldon was a little afraid of the stony-faced Paige. But desperate to become a researcher, he asked, "Paige, do you know a way to get Dr. Linkletter to approve of me?"
He actually respected Paige's intellect.
"Maybe try becoming his friend first," Paige said, rolling her eyes and tossing out a sarcastic suggestion just to get him to shut up.
Sheldon pondered this for a moment, then nodded in agreement. "You're right. Why didn't I think of that?"
Her words opened a new door for him. Sheldon realized that if he and Dr. Linkletter were friends, the man would have no reason to refuse such a tiny request.
---