"Let me." I cleared my throat. "Introductions. Bulma." I pointed at her and she smiled.
"Well, we already did this once but hey, can't hurt to do it multiple times! Hi!" She waved. "I'm Bulma Briefs, genius inventor and heir to the Capsule Corporation! I don't mind getting my hands dirty but don't think that means I can't clean up all nice, as you can see!" She gestured at her outfit which just screamed '1980s Miami Vice'. Honestly I was ready for Huggy Bear to be the next threat to the world.
"Krillin," I said, pointing at the short fighter.
"Oh, hey?" Krillin said awkwardly. "Uh… what should I say?"
"Just a general introduction," I told him. "Like if I asked you to, in one sentence, describe who you were and your profession?"
"Ah, okay." Krillin blushed a little. "This is so weird though… feel like a movie star. Uh… I'm Krillin and I'm Goku and Bulma's friend… though I guess you guys haven't met Goku yet. Or maybe you have. I guess you could put these anywhere?" He shifted, utterly nervous. "Heh. Oh, I'm also Master Roshi's student! Or I was, you know. Not anymore… though he does teach me things still… I guess I'll always be his student? Anyway, I don't really have a day job at the moment as I mostly get by competing in tournaments but I guess I need to find something to do soon and… yeah, yeah that's it."
"…that was horrible," Bulma stated.
"Oh come on!" Krillin shouted. "I didn't spend all my time practicing it in a mirror like some people!"
"I did not!"
"Yeah, just keep lying!"
Roshi shoved the two away. "Hello ladies!" he crooned as he looked right at Isco. "I am Master Roshi, head of the Turtle School of Martial Arts. I enjoy long walks on the beach and moonlit dinners. I'm partial to blonds but-"
"THIS ISN'T A DATING VIDEO!" Bulma screamed right in Roshi's ear.
"Said the girl using it to get a new boyfriend!" Krillin teased.
"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"
Isco turned to me. "Who have you gotten us tangled up with?"
"Someone who is very rich," I told him. "Want a new body that can't be shattered?"
"…I retract my complaints and also my earlier comment about your intelligence, sir."
"Hey guys!" a familiar voice called out from the outside of Kame House.
"GOKU!" Krillin cried out and Isco and I found ourselves alone in Roshi's home as the three stampeded out to greet their friend. I took a far more casual pace, lingering behind them as they asked Goku about Gohan and reacted to him being his son.
'God… he's so young,' I thought to myself. The anime had never really been good at showing ages, save perhaps for Gohan. Unless it was a radical change most of the characters looked the same, agewise, save for Chichi who kept getting the low end of the stick when it came to aging gracefully. By the time of Super she had looked more like Goku's mom than his wife while Bulma hadn't hardly aged at all (and retcons about the Dragon Balls didn't count). Goku in the anime had always been seen as a bit of a manchild by the audience due to his attitude but seeing him there in the flesh, not paper and ink, I could see just how little he had lived in the world. He was in his mid twenties and looked every inch of it and I knew that in a year the weight of the galaxy would be placed on his shoulders.
It was… so unfair.
'Especially when you see how happy he is right now.' I watched as Goku knelt down to talk to Gohan, whom he'd settled down on the beach so he could go play with Turtle. 'Everyone thinks all Goku cares about is fighting and yeah that is a passion of his but… he loves being a dad so much.' I wiggled my jaw back and forth in frustration. 'And that's going to be taken from him. By threats, by the need to protect his family, and then the belief that he is the cause of all this. Damn it all…'
"Hey!" Goku suddenly called out, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Who is that? You get a new student, Master Roshi?"
"Him?" the old man said, glancing at me before snickering. "Come now Goku, I might be the best teacher in the world… along with being strong… and handsome… and a sex machine…"
"Certainly not humble," I commented.
Isco chimed in, "He is also a skilled liar. I have seen his dating profile."
"…but even I can't do much with someone like him!" He waved at me. "That would be like trying to make Bulma a fighter!"
"Hey, be nice to Kayos," Bulma declared. "There is more to- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKE BULMA A FIGHTER!?" She grabbed Roshi's ear and began to twist it hard, causing the old man to screech in pain while he flailed his arms about wildly.
"Its okay, Bulma!" I quickly assured her, not wanting to see what happened if she twisted his lobe just a bit more.
Goku though looked at me carefully. "I don't know, Master Roshi. I'm sure if… uh…"
"Kayos," I repeated.
"Kayos put in the time he could become a decent fighter! I bet he could do all sorts of cool things if given the chance!"
"Thanks," I said with a slight smile. "Though I know my strengths are in other areas… and I can win other ways."
"Oh yeah?" Krillin challenged but in a friendly way, it clear he wasn't picking on me but was curious and a bit charged up. "And how would you defeat me or Goku or Roshi?"
"Based on what Bulma told me?" I asked. "Poison."
"…what?" Goku said, eyes going wide. Roshi had stopped fighting with Bulma and Krillin was looking a bit green around the gills at that.
"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "Slip a few drops into a drink and you'd be done. Wouldn't even need to make it kill you guys." I smirked. "Can't fight if you are crapping out your intestines."
Krillin clearly was thinking about that, now turning purple along with green, while Goku began to laugh, rubbing the back of his head. "Heh! I guess that would work pretty well! Though I do have an iron stomach! Might not work on me!"
"Are you laughing about him trying to poison you!?" Krillin exclaimed.
"He said he could, not that he would!" he looked to me. "You aren't, are you?"