Naruto finished his business in the bathroom, pulled up his pants with a quick tug, and washed his hands thoroughly. He returned to the living room, only to freeze mid-step.
Two people sat on the couch, faces swollen beyond recognition. Purple bruises bloomed across their cheeks like grotesque flowers, and their eyes had narrowed to slits surrounded by puffy flesh. Both looked like they'd been attacked by a hive of particularly aggressive bees.
"Sasuke? Sakura?" Naruto's voice came out uncertain. "Is that you two?"
The matching pig-faced expressions turned toward him with synchronized resentment.
"Who else would it be?" Sasuke's words came out muffled, his swollen lips distorting every syllable.
Sakura's glare could have melted steel. If looks could kill, Naruto would have been reduced to ash on the spot.
"Right." Naruto scratched the back of his head, genuinely uncomfortable under their combined stares. The weight of their resentment pressed against him like a physical force. "Look, I know you're upset, but let's talk about something else. You wanted to know about my world, right?"
Sasuke's visible eye twitched. The audacity of this kid, acting like nothing had happened, like he hadn't just spent an hour beating Sasuke into the ground, then another thirty minutes doing the same to Sakura. But curiosity won out over irritation. He'd been wondering about Naruto's fighting style ever since their battle concluded.
"Fine." Sasuke shifted on the couch, wincing as the movement pulled at tender muscles. "In your world, you don't use ninjutsu at all?"
"We do." Naruto settled into the armchair across from them, relaxed and completely at ease despite their injuries. "The world I come from has all the same ninja techniques. Actually, at this exact moment back home, Sasuke is probably training with his Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan."
Sasuke went rigid. "Wait. That means the me in your world defected from Konoha? Joined Orochimaru, killed Itachi..."
"No." Naruto's correction was immediate and firm. "We became friends when we were still in the Academy. Sasuke's been one of my closest friends from the very beginning." He paused, a small smile crossing his face. "Though I have to say, he's incredibly stubborn. It took three separate beatings before he finally agreed to be my friend."
Across the room, Sasuke felt a pang of sympathy for his alternate self. Three times. The poor bastard.
"After that, things were good for about six months." Naruto's expression grew more serious. "Then the Uchiha massacre happened. I wasn't strong enough yet to stop Itachi from making that mistake." The regret in his voice was genuine, a brief crack in his usual cheerful demeanor.
Sakura leaned forward despite her injuries, caught up in the story.
"Sasuke moved into my house afterward," Naruto continued. "With my help and the support of our other friends, he managed to work through his grief. We gathered quite a group over the years. Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji... all of them became friends. Sasuke wasn't alone in his pain."
Sasuke's chest tightened. In this world, he'd carried the weight of the massacre by himself for years. The isolation had nearly broken him. But in Naruto's world, there had been people. Friends. Support.
"He still wanted revenge, of course," Naruto said. "That obsession never left him. But he trained smart, with help. I gave him all my parents' techniques, everything my father and mother knew. By the time we graduated from the Academy, Sasuke had jōnin-level strength."
"Jōnin level at graduation?" Sakura's swollen face showed her shock. Even with her medical training under Tsunade, that seemed impossible.
"He's been working with the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan for a while now." Naruto nodded. "His power should rival even what Hiruzen Sarutobi was capable of in his prime."
Sasuke sat in silence, processing this alternate version of his life. The Naruto before him was nothing like the hyperactive idiot he'd known as a child. This Naruto was thoughtful, protective of his friends, emotionally intelligent. How different would his own life have been with someone like this at his side from the beginning?
He's much happier than me, Sasuke thought, the realization settling like a stone in his gut.
"During the Chūnin Exams, we got promoted directly to chūnin rank..." Naruto launched into more details, describing events Sasuke half-recognized and half-didn't. In the standard timeline, this would be where Orochimaru's manipulation began, where Sasuke would be seduced by promises of power and eventually defect. But in Naruto's telling, none of that happened.
Of course it didn't, Sasuke realized. With a friend powerful enough to crush Orochimaru completely, why would I ever need to chase that snake's scraps?
The story continued. Itachi and Kisame's visit to Konoha. The confrontation. And finally, Itachi's death.
Sasuke's expression grew dark as Naruto described his brother's end. Even across worlds, even in completely different circumstances, the grief remained constant. Itachi's death hurt, no matter how it happened.
My brother chose the wrong path, Sasuke thought. A path with no way to turn back.
While the men discussed tragedy and death, Sakura's attention had drifted elsewhere. She latched onto a different detail entirely.
"Wait, you said Ino and I were still fighting over Sasuke in your world? No clear winner?"
Naruto blinked at the subject change. "Uh, yeah? You two were pretty intense about it."
"But what about Sai?" Sakura pressed. "In this world, Sai eventually became Ino's husband. Aren't they together in your world?"
"Who's Sai?" Naruto's confusion was genuine.
Sakura explained. Sai. Root operative. Artist. Emotionally stunted but learning. Eventually assigned to Team Kakashi as Sasuke's replacement, and after the war, married Ino.
Naruto's eyes widened as memory clicked into place. "Oh. Oh. Right. When I wiped out Root and all the ANBU..." He trailed off, thinking back to the death lists he'd reviewed. Sai's name had definitely been on there. "Yeah, he's dead."
"What?!" Sakura nearly jumped off the couch.
Naruto ignored her shock, his mind already moving to problem-solving mode. If Sai was Ino's husband in this world, that meant Ino would be a widow in his world. That was unacceptable. Ino was his friend. She deserved happiness.
An idea formed. Simple. Elegant. Perfect.
"Sasuke." Naruto turned to the man beside Sakura. "In my world, before your brother Itachi died, he gave Sasuke an important mission. He told him to work hard to restore the Uchiha clan. Have more children. Lots of children. Rebuild what was lost." He paused meaningfully. "Didn't the Itachi in this world tell you the same thing?"
Sasuke blinked, caught off-guard by the question. "No, actually. Brother never mentioned that specifically. Though I've been doing my best to restore the clan anyway."
One daughter, Naruto thought incredulously. That's doing your best?
The skepticism must have shown on his face because Sasuke's expression grew defensive. But Sasuke had his own plans, plans he couldn't share with Naruto. When Sarada graduated from the Academy and got assigned to a team, he'd already laid the groundwork. Pull some strings, call in some favors, and arrange for Sarada and Boruto to be on the same squad.
Eventually, Sarada would become part of Naruto's family through marriage. And what was Naruto's would become Sasuke's by extension. The in-laws' Konoha would be his Konoha.
It was a long game. A patient game. And Sasuke was very good at patience.
"By the way," Sasuke said, eager to change the subject before Naruto could press further on his reproductive plans. He gestured at the Hokage robes Naruto wore. "You look incredibly young. How old are you exactly? And that..."
"I'm the Fifth Hokage of Konohagakure," Naruto said simply. "And I'm twelve years old."
The room fell silent.
Sasuke's jaw dropped, his swollen face making the expression almost comical. Beside him, Sakura's eyes went wide as dinner plates.
"Twelve?" Sasuke finally managed. "Twelve years old?"
"Fifth Hokage at twelve?" Sakura's voice cracked on the last word.
In peacetime, no less. The age when most kids had just graduated from the Academy. Some hadn't even graduated yet. And this kid was Hokage? Had he somehow graduated directly into the position? Was there even a "Hokage Academy" somewhere?
Naruto waited patiently for the shock to pass. He was used to this reaction by now.