If a goat possessed by a schizophrenic demon is charging you, what would you do?
–I'd make a prodigious barbarian fight it for me.
Ghaf lifted me and leaped towards the mad goat which was rushing towards us. He jumped high over it, crossing it by a great distance. Since Kebab was traveling at a speed faster than the speed of sound, it couldn't stop and turn back immediately.
"That was awesome, Ghaf!" I said.
"I feel so honored to receive your praise, Chosen One. Sniff. Sniff "
Don't cry though. We're in the middle of something.
Ghaft kicked on a tree that was tall as a 13 storey building, leaping further away from the devil disguised as a goat.
Ghaf's aim was to land on top of a towering waterfall. Getting to higher ground would be advantageous and Kebab won't be able to stop to jump onto the waterfall.
"will we be able to make it?" I asked.
"...there's only one way to find out." He said.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Dush!
The sound of the jungle screaming grew louder. It was heading our way again.
Kebab was back for blood.
There was a brief moment of silence. Both of us knew that we were about to get screwed because it didn't look like we could reach the waterfall.
"Chosen One, I'm sorry."
Why do I constantly find myself in situations where I'm about to fall to death.
Ghaf stretched his leg forward as much and he could and somehow made contact with the edge of the waterfall with the tip of his toe. He broke out in cold sweat as he realised that our lives now depended on the thumb finger of his leg– it was the only thing supporting us from falling down the waterfall.
The thumb finger of his leg was holding his entire body weight while he's carrying another person? That's a level of calisthinics I've never heard of.
Crack
The stone at the edge of the waterfall chipped out, and we fell down the waterfall. We both did our best to grab onto something while we were falling but we couldn't reach the rocks that were behind the screen of water. The free fall started to build speed, the passing of every second made the fall more deadlier.
"Chosen One! Rock!" Ghaf said bluntly, while pointing his finger down.
I looked down, there was a huge spiky rock protruding out of the waterfall and we'd hit it if we didn't move.
"What do we do!?" I panicked...…
Ghaf shook his head with a stern look as a response. That might not look or sound like an appropriate answer, but it was enough for me to understand what he was trying to say.
There was no time to talk, Instincts took over.
I twisted my body and got both my feet up. We both released our chambered legs, kicking each other's feet, pushing away from each other to avoid hitting the huge rock below us.
The push caused my back to hit another rock behind me, causing me to ricochet and bounce towards the very rock I was trying to avoid.
I thought it was the end for me.
It felt like time slowed down and I forgot how to breathe. I twisted and turned my body hoping that it would help me move while I'm airborne– it did nothing. Guessing from the trajectory of my fall, one of its big spikes was probably going to impale me square in the chest.
[Zephra]
Ghaf launched a wind attack towards me to help change the trajectory of my fall. However, the speed of the fall was a variable he didn't consider while aiming the spell at me. This caused the wind spell to violently hit my head and turn me upside down. I was now falling head first.
While Ghaf's wind zaryûn magic did push me back, I was still heading towards the rock. It was very close to me at this point, but thanks to Ghaf's wind spell changing the angle of my fall, I barely managed to avoid the huge rock protruding from the waterfall even though my shoulder grazed against one of its thorns, inflicting a deep wound.
Ghaf managed to catch me while we were airborne. He then shoved his hand into the rocks beyond the screen of water. But that didn't stop the fall.
"Khh! Hold on Chosen One!"
His arms carved a trench through the cliff as we got closer to the ground.
Taking the fall would be a walk in the park for Ghaf. In fact, he could take a fall twice as big as this. But now, the life of the one who he believed to be the chosen one was at stake.
The ground came. It wasn't a stop, it was more of a collapse. It didn't save us but it kept us alive.
I hadn't even recovered from my previous injuries and I've already got new badges for my bravery in the form of cuts, bruises and broken bones.
We didn't have a second to spare or the time to even let out a sigh of relief. Because we could hear the sound of the screaming jungle getting closer .
Kebab was nearing us.
"Chosen One, what are we really up against?"
"The-food-is-fighting-back" I answered like a robot.
He didn't say anything after that. He turned to the direction of the raging goat and readied his machete-like blade.
(NOTE: A machete is a large, heavy knife with a broad, sharp edge)
Weirdly, the sound of Kebab rushing towards us stopped. That only made us more cautious.
Shh shh
The bushes moved.
Ghaf had already written zaryûn runes all over his body and weapon. I too wrote every useful zaryûn spell I knew– except for the party tricks kind of magic.
Whatever was behind the bushes walked out. It was just a weird looking goat.
"Ghaf! That's the monster trying to get me! Kill it. Now!"
"Eh…?" He was confused.
This weird looking goat did all of that?, thought Ghaf.
Kebab looked at Ghaf, its cute expression slowly twisted into a nasty expression as it emitted killing intent.
Maaaheheeh!
Ghaf snapped out the state of confusion and instinctively rushed forward, driving his blade down the head of the crazy goat.
Eeeeeeeehehehehehheheh!
It started making creepier noises.
The crazy thing spun around 360 degrees with the machete still stuck in between its eyes and tried to kick Ghaf.
Ghaf jumped over the kick and grabbed onto the handle of the machete stuck in Kebab's while he was still in the air.
As soon as Ghaf caught the handle of the machete blade, Kebab jolted its head back, throwing him backwards, deep into the jungle.
With the weapon still stuck on its head, Kebab turned back towards the direction at which it threw Ghaf.
It's going to chase after him!
[Rootraise]
I activated the rune I drew in my palm, it shot a long, strong and green tree root that pierced the leg of the crazy goat before firmly wrapping itself around that very leg.
Kebab didn't even flinch. It dashed forward, dragging along with it the root and a big chunk of earth that the root sprung from.
I caught on to the thick green root before Kebab dashed forward.
The crazed imbecile caught up to Ghaf who was still in the air from the force of the throw and drove its head into his abdomen– dragging me along with it.
"Aaaaaah! What the hell is this thing!?" Ghaf whined.
Oh hell no– it's heading to the village.
***
Crash!
The crazed goat ran through the jungle, tearing through everything with Ghaf stuck on its head– naturally, he took all the impact, but he didn't let a second pass where he wasn't slashing the mad goat with his machete. He had been slashing and stabbing it the whole time, it did not slow the goat one bit.
I was being dragged by the very mad goat. What's worse is that if Kebab stopped running all of a sudden, the chunk of earth attached to the end of the root I'm holding onto might flatten me.
I had to avoid all the trees, rocks and the other nonsense in the jungle if I wanted to live to see another day.
Forget about getting hit by those things, even grazing those things will be detrimental– it has happened 4 times already, yet I survived. Indiana Jones hasn't seen shit, and Nathan Drake is going to be proud of me.
After a long ride, the mad goat rammed Ghaf into a wall of one of the ancient ruins in the village's outer ring. The good news was that Kebab finally stopped its long run. The bad news was that I had to do something so that the chunk of rock attached to the end of the long root won't crash into me.
Even though Kebab stopped, the momentum got me and that chunk of earth behind me moving forward with great speed. I moved the root over to my bleeding shoulder and exerted all the force I could generate to push against the ground with both my legs.
My own body was protesting against me in pain. My leg dug through the ground as I swung the root over my head and down on the damned goat, hitting it with the heavy chunk of earth that was attached to the end of it.
Dhun!
I've reached my limit. It's all up to you, Ghaf.
The attack was somewhat successful. I wanted that attack to splatter the goat but it only knocked it off balance, freeing Ghaf from its hold.
Kebab shot towards him from the ground without spearing a second. Ghaf stopped it with a single hand, it couldn't move him an inch.
Ghaf was hopping mad.
Kebab did its best to push against Ghaf, but its shenanigans were not going to work against an adult barbarian. Now that Ghaf had a solid footing, he was going to turn this goat into a hashtag for the better good.
He pulled out his weapon from the goat's skull with his other hand. He lifted the mad goat by its head and stabbed its stomach with a machete from below.
He did not stop there.
[Tellus]
He kicked the ground with his leg on which he had inscribed a rune. It caused a stone rod to erect from the ground- it shot straight into the mad goat's stomach, right beside the machete.
Ghaf gripped the stone rod. With his other hand holding the machete, he pulled the goat apart, tearing it in half and showering him in its blood.
#KebabMustDie
"Chosen One, it's over. We're safe." He said as he dropped his weapon in relief.
Its… over? Yes… It's finally over!
I didn't have the energy to speak, but my expression of relief and thankfulness said everything.
***
I and Ghaf just sat there for a while, it took time to digest what had happened. Just as I thought it was time to return to the village, things got worse.
!?
"No .No. No. No. No. This can't be happening!"
"Chosen One, what happened?"
He turned towards what I was looking at.
The dead goat's body started kicking as the half with the head started regenerating.
The only way this could be happening is if this crazy dipshit that we were fighting was a primordial.
Everything started to make sense.
#ThisIsMessedUpFR