Sometime around midnight, sleep finally caught me.
Not deep sleep. Not peaceful sleep. The kind where you're half-aware, drifting, floating between thoughts and dreams like your brain forgot how to fully shut down.
That's when I felt it.
A soft pressure against my back.
At first, my sleepy brain tried to rationalize it.
Wind.
Blanket slipping.
Gravity doing gravity things.
Then it happened again. Slightly firmer this time.
Warm.
Human.
My eyes snapped open.
I didn't move. I didn't breathe. I didn't even blink.
Slowly, terrifyingly slowly, awareness settled in.
An arm.
Around my waist.
Light. Careful. Like it belonged there.
Her forehead rested gently against my back, warm breath brushing through my shirt in slow, steady rhythms. Her knees were drawn in slightly, closing the distance completely.
Saki had clung to me.
Exactly like she said she would.
My brain went completely silent.
No screaming. No panic. No thoughts.
Just static.
I stared straight ahead into the darkness, pupils probably the size of dinner plates.
Okay, I told myself carefully. This is happening. This is real. Don't panic. She literally warned you. You are prepared for this. You are a mature, responsible human being.
My heart immediately betrayed me and started pounding like it was trying to break free.
I became painfully aware of everything. The warmth of her arm. The rise and fall of her breathing. The faint scent of her shampoo. The way her hand rested, relaxed, trusting.
She shifted slightly in her sleep, tightening her hold just a bit.
Just a bit.
I froze harder.
Wake her up, my brain whispered. She told you to wake her up.
But how?
How do you wake someone up without making it weird?
"Hey, you're hugging me" felt illegal to say out loud.
Shaking her gently felt dangerous.
Turning around felt like a crime.
I swallowed.
Okay. Just… gently move her arm. Slowly. Carefully.
I lifted my hand a few centimeters.
Paused.
Her grip tightened again, like she sensed movement even in sleep, and she murmured something unintelligible, nuzzling closer.
That was it.
Abort mission.
I lowered my hand and accepted my fate.
It's fine, I told myself, staring at the wall like it held the secrets of the universe. She's asleep. This means nothing. You are a mattress. A human pillow. A very normal role.
Minutes passed.
Maybe longer.
My heart gradually slowed. My breathing matched hers without me realizing it. The panic softened, turning into something quieter. Warmer.
Strangely… it felt safe.
I stayed completely still, afraid that even the smallest movement might break the moment. Afraid that waking her would end something I didn't even know how to name.
Outside, the ocean kept breathing.
Inside, I lay awake, held gently in the dark, realizing one very dangerous thing:
I didn't want her to let go.
Just when I thought my heart had finally learned how to behave—
Her leg moved.
Slowly. Sleepily.
And then it happened.
She wrapped it around mine.
Not sudden. Not intentional. Just the natural, unconscious movement of someone completely at ease.
My brain shut down.
Fully. Completely. Like someone pulled the plug.
I stared into the darkness, eyes wide, soul hovering somewhere near the ceiling fan.
Okay. This is still fine.
This is still innocent.
This is still absolutely, definitely, 100 percent not something I should freak out about.
My heart disagreed and started racing again, but quieter this time. Less panic. More… something else. Something warm and terrifying in a different way.
She shifted closer, fitting against me like this was the most natural thing in the world. Her breathing stayed slow, steady. Peaceful.
She was asleep.
Completely.
Trusting me without even knowing it.
I clenched my fists lightly against the sheets, forcing myself not to move. Not because I was scared anymore—but because I didn't want to disturb her. Didn't want to break this fragile, accidental closeness.
You're fine, I told myself softly. Just stay still. Just breathe.
So I did.
I lay there, listening to the ocean outside and the rhythm of her breathing behind me, heart finally slowing down for real this time.
Somewhere between the waves and the warmth, my thoughts blurred. Panic melted away, replaced by a strange, gentle calm.
And for the first time that night—
I slept.
Sleep didn't come immediately.
Not real sleep.
I drifted in and out, half-aware of everything, and that's when the conflict started. Not panic this time. Something quieter. Heavier.
She was warm against my back. Her arm around my waist. Her leg hooked around mine like it belonged there. Like I belonged there.
And a thought crept in. Slow. Dangerous.
What if I just… hugged her back?
Not anything weird. Not anything wrong. Just… turning slightly. Letting my arm rest over hers. Holding her the way she was holding me.
The idea alone made my chest tighten.
She wouldn't even know, a traitorous part of me whispered. She's asleep.
I swallowed.
That was exactly why I couldn't.
I stared at the wall, jaw clenched, every muscle tense as if I were holding myself together by force alone. My arm twitched once, instinctively, wanting to move back toward her warmth.
I stopped it.
Don't, I told myself firmly. She trusts you.
That word settled deep in my chest. Trust.
She trusted me enough to fall asleep like this. Enough to be careless. Enough to feel safe.
I couldn't betray that. Not even a little.
So I stayed still.
Every second stretched. Her breathing brushed against my neck, steady and soft. Her fingers flexed once against my shirt, unconsciously tightening, and my heart responded before my brain could stop it.
I closed my eyes.
This is enough, I told myself. This moment is enough.
I didn't need to hold her back. Didn't need to cross that line. Just being here, like this, was already more than I ever expected.
Slowly, the want faded into something gentler. A quiet ache. A promise I didn't fully understand yet.
I stayed awake long enough to make sure I wouldn't move.
And when sleep finally took me again, I let it—
still untouched,
still restrained,
still holding everything back.
***
SAKI'S POV-
I woke up feeling… warm.
Too warm.
Also comfortable. Suspiciously comfortable.
My eyes fluttered open, and the first thing I registered was fabric. A shirt. Familiar. Very familiar.
Then my brain booted up.
Slowly.
Dangerously.
…Why am I holding someone?
My arm was wrapped tightly around a very solid waist. My leg was hooked over another leg like I was afraid it might run away. My face was pressed against a very real back.
Oh.
Oh no.
OH NO.
I froze.
Didn't breathe. Didn't blink. Didn't even exist properly.
This is Haruto, my brain whispered helpfully, as if I hadn't already figured that out.
I lifted my head just a little. Just enough to confirm.
Yep.
Haruto.
Fast asleep. Peaceful. Completely innocent-looking. Face turned to the opposite side like he was deliberately respecting international boundaries in his sleep.
And his hands?
Nowhere.
Not hugging me. Not touching me. Not even accidentally brushing against me.
Which somehow made this worse.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DOING THIS?!
My face went hot instantly. Like someone flipped a switch labeled EMBARRASSMENT: MAXIMUM.
Okay, okay, okay, I told myself. Don't panic. You literally warned him about this. This is your habit. This is on you. Calm down.
I tried to gently pull my arm back.
Haruto shifted slightly in his sleep.
I stopped immediately.
ABORT. ABORT. DO NOT WAKE HIM.
He murmured something unintelligible and settled again, breathing slow and even.
I stared at the back of his head, mortified.
He didn't hug me back, I noticed.
Not even a little.
For some reason, that made my chest feel… weird.
Also, why was I hugging him this tightly?! Was I afraid he'd escape in the middle of the night? Was my subconscious a traitor?
I very, very slowly loosened my grip. Inch by inch. Like I was defusing a bomb.
Success.
I pulled my leg back next.
Also success.
I lay there flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, heart racing.
I am never sleeping again, I decided. I will simply stay awake forever.
I glanced at him again.
Still asleep. Still turned away. Still very clearly not aware of anything that happened.
Relief washed over me.
Followed immediately by embarrassment.
Followed immediately by… something softer.
"…Idiot," I whispered to myself.
Then I rolled to my side, facing away, pulled the blanket up, and shut my eyes tight—hoping, desperately, that when he woke up…
He wouldn't notice a thing.
I lay there. Stiff. Wide awake. Blanket pulled up to my chin like it could protect me from my own shame.
Okay. New rule, I told myself. Do not move. Do not breathe loudly. Do not exist.
Because the moment Haruto woke up and turned around and saw me pretending to be asleep like a badly programmed robot, I would simply pass away.
Five minutes passed.
Ten.
Why was he still asleep?! Didn't he have a natural alarm clock powered by stress like a normal person?
Just as I was thinking that, he shifted again.
I flinched so hard I nearly rolled off the bed.
He groaned softly, rubbed his face against the pillow, and mumbled something like,
"…five more minutes…"
Five more minutes of WHAT?! Emotional damage?!
I stared at him from the corner of my eye, panicking internally.
Okay, listen. Maybe I can get out of bed quietly. Like a ninja. A very embarrassed ninja.
I slowly lifted the blanket.
It made a sound.
Not a loud sound.
But a sound.
My soul left my body.
Haruto didn't wake up.
I froze again.
This bed is cursed, I decided. Kyosuke planned this. My dad funded it.
I carefully slid one foot toward the edge of the bed.
My toe bumped the side.
Pain shot through my leg.
I bit my pillow to keep from yelping.
Still asleep.
HOW IS HE THIS DEAD TO THE WORLD?!
Finally, after what felt like an hour-long stealth mission, I managed to sit up on the edge of the bed.
Victory.
I stood up.
Another victory.
I turned around to grab my bag—
And that's when I saw it.
The pillow.
The pillow I had been hugging earlier.
It was still warm.
I stared at it.
The pillow stared back.
NOPE.
I grabbed my bag, marched straight into the bathroom, shut the door, locked it, and leaned against it like I had just escaped a crime scene.
"…I am never sleeping next to another human being again," I whispered.
I splashed water on my face, took a deep breath, and tried to regain my dignity.
Then, from the other side of the door, I heard Haruto's sleepy voice.
"…Saki?"
I panicked so hard I almost dropped my toothbrush.
"Yes?! I mean—WHAT?! I mean—GOOD MORNING!" I yelled, way too loudly.
There was a pause.
"…Why are you shouting?"
"I'M NOT SHOUTING. THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE."
Another pause.
"…Did something happen?"
"No."
Instant reply. Too fast. Suspiciously fast.
I stared at my reflection, eyes wide.
He knows. He definitely knows.
Outside, Haruto yawned.
"Oh. Okay. I thought I felt something weird earlier."
I choked on air.
"…W-WEIRD HOW?" I asked, my voice cracking like cheap glass.
He scratched his head.
"Like… my blanket was heavier than usual."
…
That was it.
That was the weird thing.
I pressed my forehead against the mirror.
I survived, I thought. Barely. But I survived.
From that day on, I made one firm decision.
I would never, ever admit what happened that night.
And if Kyosuke so much as winked at me during breakfast—
I was pushing him into the ocean.