Aïnis had spent the entire morning trying to convince herself that it wasn't that serious.
Blake was leaving.
Fine.
She would eventually get used to it.
After all, her father would find someone else. A competent, professional, discreet bodyguard. Someone who knew how to drive, keep an eye on her surroundings, and accompany her to university.
Someone would do his job.
Someone would open the car door for her.
Someone would wait for her outside the university.
Someone would walk a few steps behind her.
Someone would learn her habits.
Someone would ask her if she had slept well.
Someone would be there.
But it wouldn't be Blake.
Aïnis suddenly sat upright on her bed.
— No…
She shook her head.
Why did the simple thought of it hurt so much?
She had known for some time that she had grown attached to him.
But until now, Blake had always been there.
Even when he was distant.
Even when he refused to speak to her as anything other than the person he was protecting.
Even when he deliberately kept his distance from her.
He had always been there.
And now, he was really going to disappear.
She grabbed her phone and looked at the time.
Then she sighed.
She couldn't simply wait.
She had to at least try.
Even if it was irrational.
Even if it was selfish.
Even if she already knew she might lose.
She had to talk to him.
⸻
A few hours later
A light knock sounded at her door.
Aïnis turned around.
— Come in.
The door opened.
Blake entered.
Dark suit.
Discreet earpiece.
Straight posture.
Impassive face.
As always.
As if nothing had changed.
As if she hadn't spent part of the night thinking about him.
As if, in a few days, he wasn't going to disappear from her life.
— You wanted to see me, Miss Morel?
She hated the way he had been calling her that for the past few days.
But today, she didn't feel like reproaching him for it.
— Yes.
Blake remained near the door.
— Is everything alright?
Aïnis let out a small, nervous laugh.
— You already know it isn't.
He didn't answer.
She took a deep breath.
She had gone over this conversation in her head several times.
But now that he was standing in front of her, every word seemed much harder to say.
— I want you to stay.
Silence.
Blake looked at her.
No visible surprise.
No change in his expression.
— It isn't possible. You know that.
— I know.
— Then why are you asking me?
Aïnis lowered her eyes.
— Because I still wanted to try.
She slowly raised her head.
— When your departure was announced, at first, I told myself it wasn't a big deal. That I would eventually move on. It's not the first time someone has left my life.
Her voice became more fragile.
— But as the days go by… the more I realize that losing you terrifies me.
Blake remained silent.
— I like you very much, Blake.
She gave him a small, sad smile.
— You have no idea how much.
He didn't move.
— I know everything is against us. My father. Our age difference. Our situation. Your job. Your life…
She paused.
— But despite all that, the first thing I want is for you to stay.
She took a breath.
— I'll try to convince my father.
Blake looked at her for a few seconds before answering.
— You shouldn't.
— Why?
— Because it won't change what the problem is.
Aïnis frowned slightly.
— What do you mean?
— I mean that my job is to protect you. Nothing more.
He spoke calmly.
Without harshness.
Without anger.
Simply with the certainty that belonged to him.
— You're still young, Aïnis. You have time to meet someone. Someone with whom a relationship would actually be possible.
She felt her heart tighten.
— What you feel for me…
He paused briefly.
— It isn't love.
The answer came so quickly that she remained silent for a few seconds.
Perhaps she had expected him to hesitate.
But Blake never gave her that kind of thing.
His face remained the same.
Impassive.
Controlled.
She finally asked:
— Why do you doubt my feelings?
He didn't answer immediately.
— I'm not deliberately doubting you.
— Yet that's exactly what you're doing.
She stepped slightly closer.
— I know everything that keeps us from being together. My father. Our age difference. Our situation. Your relationship…
She swallowed.
— I know all of that.
Her voice trembled.
— But my heart simply refuses to accept it.
Blake lowered his eyes slightly before answering.
— I'm not in a position to judge what you feel.
Then he looked back at her.
— But you're right about one thing. Between us, it would be complicated on every level.
Aïnis remained silent.
Then a thought crossed her mind.
A question she was afraid to ask.
But one she had to ask.
— Blake.
— Yes?
— Answer just one of my questions.
He waited.
— Look me seriously in the eyes and be honest.
He looked at her.
— Do you love me?
Silence fell.
Blake didn't look away.
— Yes, miss.
Aïnis's heart leapt.
But he continued:
— I care about you very much.
Her growing hope immediately stopped.
— I'm talking about real romantic feelings.
This time, Blake remained silent.
Aïnis stepped closer.
— I'm serious.
He looked at her for a few more seconds.
Then answered in a calm voice:
— No.
One word.
Simple.
Without hesitation.
Aïnis stood completely still.
She had tried to prepare herself for that answer.
She knew it was likely.
She even knew she wasn't expecting anything from him.
So why did it hurt this much?
She lowered her eyes.
— Okay.
Blake didn't move.
— I don't see you that way, he continued. I see you a little like my younger sister.
Aïnis slowly raised her eyes.
— Your younger sister?
He nodded.
— I have a sister who is almost your age. I think that probably influences the way I see you.
This time, Aïnis felt her heart break.
She had always known that he might not love her.
But somewhere deep inside, she had held on to a tiny bit of hope.
A very small one.
And now, it had disappeared.
She turned her face away.
A tear rolled down her cheek.
Then another.
— You know…
Her voice trembled.
— I had a feeling.
Blake remained silent.
— But despite that…
She quickly wiped her cheeks.
— I still want you close to me.
Her voice broke.
— Please. Don't distance yourself from me.
The tears began to fall uncontrollably.
Blake looked at her.
His face remained calm.
But his voice softened.
— I'm sorry.
Aïnis suddenly looked up.
— Why are you apologizing?
He didn't answer.
— Why are you apologizing, Blake?
She was now struggling to control her voice.
— Because you can't return my feelings?
He remained silent.
A hint of anger rose inside her.
— Why is everyone like this?
Blake frowned slightly.
— Aïnis…
— You all decide what's best for me!
She wiped her tears roughly.
— My father decides. My family decides. My fiancé was decided for me. And now you're deciding that I have to accept your departure too.
She shook her head.
— You all do what you supposedly think is best for me without ever asking what I want.
Blake looked at her without interrupting.
Aïnis stepped toward him.
Then, in a desperate gesture, she lightly hit his chest with her fists.
— You should have at least come and talked to me before making your decision!
Another hit.
— And yet, I'm still standing here begging you to stay…
Her voice broke completely.
— What kind of girl does that?
Blake didn't move.
He let her release her frustration.
Then he said calmly:
— It isn't that simple.
Aïnis looked up at him.
— Yes, it is.
She struggled to breathe evenly.
— For me, it is.
Blake remained silent.
— I don't want another bodyguard.
This time, he understood exactly what she meant.
— Aïnis…
— No.
She shook her head.
— I don't want someone else introduced to me and told that he'll do just as good a job.
Her voice was still trembling.
— I don't want another man driving me to university.
She paused.
— I don't want another man waiting for me outside my classes.
Her eyes filled with tears again.
— I don't want another man learning my habits.
Blake still said nothing.
Aïnis held his gaze.
— I don't want another man's eyes on me.
The silence became heavy.
She realized what she had just said.
But she continued anyway.
— I want yours.
Blake slowly inhaled.
Aïnis lowered her eyes slightly.
— I know it's ridiculous.
— It's not ridiculous.
She looked up.
— Then stay.
He slowly shook his head.
— You'll get used to it.
Those three words hurt her more than anything else.
— I don't want to get used to it.
— You'll have to.
— Why?
— Because I'm leaving.
She looked at him in frustration.
— You could stay.
— I could.
She froze.
— Then stay.
Blake didn't answer.
Aïnis took a step toward him.
— Please.
He remained still.
She wanted to shake him.
Ask him how he could remain so calm while she was falling apart in front of him.
— Do you even know what this is doing to me?
— Yes.
She blinked.
— Then why are you doing this?
He remained silent for a few seconds.
— Because it's necessary.
— For whom?
— For everyone.
She lowered her eyes.
— You mean my father?
— Among other things.
— And you?
This time, he didn't answer.
Aïnis looked at him for a long moment.
She didn't need an answer.
— You're afraid.
— No.
A small, sad smile appeared on her lips.
— You really are incapable of admitting anything.
— It's not about fear.
— Then what is it about?
— Consequences.
Aïnis remained silent.
Then she asked softly:
— And if I asked you to stay again?
Blake looked directly into her eyes.
— I would still leave.
She felt her eyes burning.
This time, she didn't beg him.
She simply turned her face away.
— I hate you.
Those words broke Blake's heart, and for once, his stoic expression disappeared.
— Aïnis…
She turned toward him abruptly.
— You can leave. I don't want to see you anymore from today onward.
He looked at her in stunned silence.