Chapter 264: Can I Poop in Your Hand?
Thump.
"Ow!"
Tsunade knocked Hanabi on the head.
"What exactly goes on inside that little brain of yours all day? No wonder Fū calls you the Silver-Horned King."
"Honestly, knowing how twisted the Limited Tsukuyomi world was, we shouldn't have let you kids watch it in the first place. Sigh."
Tsunade muttered with a shake of her head.
"What do you mean?! I didn't say a word the whole time because I didn't want to ruin everyone's viewing experience! That Limited Tsukuyomi world was totally unfair!"
"Why didn't I appear at all?! Sister and all her classmates showed up!"
Hanabi protested while clutching her head.
"Well… isn't not appearing actually a good thing?"
Fū poked Hanabi.
"Think about how ridiculous that world was. If I hadn't been lucky, my image would've been completely destroyed too."
"Ridiculous or not, it's fake anyway. Just treat it like a movie."
Hanabi puffed her cheeks.
"But everyone else appeared except me… why?"
"Think about your sister Hinata's personality in that world."
Shiromo gently patted Hanabi's head.
"My sister?"
Hanabi tilted her head, recalling.
"In that world, Sister was heroic, cool, and incredibly powerful…"
"Exactly."
"In that world, your sister's personality was reversed. So it's entirely possible you were already 'succession disputes are always this cruel'-ed by her."
"..."
Hanabi's small face froze, mouth agape.
With Shiromo's reminder, Hanabi immediately thought of Temari and her siblings in the Limited Tsukuyomi world.
It really was possible.
In the real world, Hanabi was confident she was adorable enough that Sister definitely loved her.
But if everything was reversed…
Wouldn't Shiromo's scenario actually make sense…
And there was precedent.
In that world, Sister had shown absolutely no reaction to Neji's gruesome death.
She had looked at it the same way one might glance at a dead stray dog.
Sure, Neji in that world had been a voyeuristic pervert…
But later they learned that, in a world overflowing with bizarre fetishists, being a voyeuristic pervert barely qualified as deviant behavior.
If even Neji ended up like that…
Then what about her…
"…On second thought, forget it. Not appearing is fine."
Hanabi's imagination spiraled.
She pictured her Limited Tsukuyomi counterpart being subjected to a brutal 'succession dispute,' eyes gouged out, limbs severed, sealed inside a jar, all just to be kept alive as breeding stock for the branch family.
The mere thought sent chills down her spine.
Better not to exist at all.
Those images would only shatter her happy illusions and ruin the sincere bond she shared with her sister.
"Oh, right."
Seeing Hanabi successfully "educated," Tsunade suddenly remembered something.
She pulled out her notebook.
"I wrote all of this down. Publishing it for some manuscript fees shouldn't be a problem, right?"
She felt it was polite to ask.
After all, the Limited Tsukuyomi world had been created by Uchiha Hikari, with Shiromo providing the direction.
"Do whatever you want. Whether it passes publication is your own concern."
Shiromo shrugged.
"My concern? …Oh. Right."
Tsunade blinked before realizing.
She wasn't merely the Hokage now.
She was effectively the ruler of the Land of Fire.
Even if there were censors, they ultimately answered to her.
Judge and participant.
Still, realistically speaking, Tsunade's notes would probably pass review anyway.
It was like stumbling across strange images online, something utterly incomprehensible at first glance.
When that happened, people often joked: "If the moderators didn't delete your image, maybe you should reflect on yourself."
The Limited Tsukuyomi world worked the same way.
Its stories passed scrutiny not because they were normal…
…but because there were no normal humans left inside them.
A sane human couldn't interpret Megatron leaking gasoline as erotic material.
Just as a sane human couldn't categorize the Limited Tsukuyomi world's events as something out of Jiraiya's novels.
Meanwhile…
Kushina was being driven mad by the tsundere Nine-Tails.
Kurama had reconciled with Minato without issue.
Yet after emerging, it stubbornly refused to reconcile with her.
What the hell was going on?
Had she somehow become Kurama's romantic rival?
Kushina couldn't help drifting toward the worst possible interpretation.
Wasn't that exactly how things had unfolded in the Limited Tsukuyomi world?
Originally, she had planned to return half of Kurama once Naruto made peace with it…
Now it seemed she would have to "capture Kurama's route" first herself.
"Are you finished yet?"
Tobirama walked up behind Tsunade.
"Hm?"
Tsunade turned, puzzled.
"Granduncle, what is it?"
"You're the one with business."
"Have you forgotten you're the Hokage? Now that this is over, shouldn't you return and handle your administrative duties?"
As Tobirama spoke, his hand landed on Tsunade's shoulder.
Whoosh.
She vanished instantly.
"Huh?"
Tsunade stood in Hokage's office, notebook still in hand, utterly bewildered.
"Um… Second Hokage-sama, could you send me as well? I want to see Naruto."
Kushina asked.
"You just arrived and already want to leave again?"
Tobirama frowned.
"What you should be doing is focusing on subduing the Nine-Tails and mastering Baryon Mode."
"That is how you protect him, and the village."
His tone was mercilessly cold.
"No, it's not that…"
Kushina looked conflicted.
"It's not because I miss Naruto. I just want to confirm something."
"He hasn't turned out like in the Limited Tsukuyomi world, right?"
"He still likes girls, doesn't he?"
"…Though honestly, even if he liked Sasuke, I'd accept it."
As expected…
People everywhere preferred compromise.
After witnessing that utterly deranged alternate world, everyone's tolerance thresholds had shifted upward, everyone except Uchiha Hikari.
"…Five minutes."
Tobirama placed a hand on Kushina's shoulder.
She disappeared.
He even thoughtfully positioned her atop a perfect rooftop vantage point overlooking Naruto's current location.
"Oh?!"
Kushina brightened instantly.
"Naruto's visiting a girl?! That's wonderful!"
The best-case scenario!
Below, Naruto was knocking on Sakura's front door.
Sakura's parents had already left for work.
She had just woken from a rare late sleep and was currently in the bathroom when Naruto's voice rang out.
"Stop knocking! I'm busy!"
Sakura shouted.
"No problem, Sakura-chan! Whatever it is, I'll help you!"
Naruto replied enthusiastically.
Help?
Help with what?
Help her take a dump?
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Knock it off, Naruto! I'm taking a crap! Keep this up and I'll come out and beat you senseless!"
She snapped bluntly.
Mostly because Naruto's constant yelling was making it impossible to concentrate.
"Taking a crap? What does that mean, Sakura-chan?"
"It means exactly what it sounds like! Shut up already!"
"…Th-then, Sakura-chan…"
Naruto's voice suddenly grew timid.
"When you're done… can I poop in your hand?"
"..."
(End of this chapter)