Chapter 361
"Have you ever had such thoughts?"
Wei Jeong-han quietly gazed at Jeokan-u, who was spinning his wine cup around and around.
When he looked at him, he often felt a somewhat dazed sensation. It was like the feeling of looking at somewhere that wasn't reality.
This might sound ridiculous, but Jeokan-u seemed like someone who lived between reality and dreams. Half of him had his feet planted in reality, but the other half seemed to be suspended somewhere that wasn't reality.
It was somewhat different from good words like half-human, half-immortal.
That might be why he doesn't want to dig too deeply into this man.
His affiliation, his age… even whether he was friend or foe wasn't clear, yet he simply packaged this person under the name of close friend.
'Perhaps the one who has half removed his feet from reality isn't this man, but me.'
It might actually be Wei Jeong-han who was using Jeokan-u as an escape from reality that couldn't reach his ideals.
Suppressing the boiling thoughts with effort, Wei Jeong-han opened his mouth.
"What kind of thoughts?"
"The thought that perhaps we are all nothing but puppets."
It was the right words at the right time. As if he was looking into Wei Jeong-han's inner thoughts completely.
"Puppets…"
Wei Jeong-han chuckled.
"Anyway, from the moment you used such a name, what I think doesn't matter, does it? You already seem to think so?"
"It's not meaningless."
Jeokan-u spun his wine cup with a slightly bitter expression, then poured it all into his mouth at once.
"Ugh, bitter."
Jeokan-u set down his wine cup on the table with a sound and opened his mouth.
"You might be right. If I think that way, then others' thoughts would be meaningless. But sometimes, just having someone who thinks the same thoughts as me gives me comfort. Especially if it's a friend."
"Friend?"
"Yes. Friend, companion, close friend… what other words are needed?"
"You and I?"
"Are we not?"
"You're saying embarrassing things."
Wei Jeong-han lifted the wine bottle and filled Jeokan-u's empty cup.
"Fine. I can concede that much. If the word 'drinking' is attached before the name friend."
"Drinking friends?"
"Yes, appropriate words. We wouldn't share friendship if not for alcohol, but we're the kind who come to mind when we need to have a drink. That's enough. Just that much."
"Cold but not disappointing."
Jeokan-u also seemed to like the term drinking friends and nodded his head.
"It might be the word that can most perfectly define our relationship. I too think of your face when alcohol comes to mind."
"Say such things to your wife instead."
"Don't even mention it. You don't know how much nagging I get these days…"
"A man who brought his wife to the battlefield naturally deserves to be scolded. What do you mean by making children in a place like this?"
"Well, I have nothing to say to that."
Jeokan-u smiled sheepishly.
"Actually, I wasn't someone who had much interest in that area."
"I don't want to hear about other people's bedroom affairs. Keep it moderate."
"No, that's not what I mean. This friend."
Jeokan-u grinned, showing his teeth.
Looking at his face smiling like an idiot gave a strange feeling.
What exactly was this man?
Sometimes he seemed more ruthless than anyone he knew, and sometimes he seemed more pure than anyone he knew. Was it really possible for these two aspects to coexist in one person's body?
Jeokan-u's face was soon covered with bitterness.
Wei Jeong-han felt slightly regretful. Jeokan-u's appearance holding bitterness was also quite picturesque, but this man looked best when he was smiling.
"Isn't there such a saying? That when people are about to die, they want to leave behind bloodline."
"…I don't know where you heard such nonsense. Usually when people are about to die, they don't have the strength for such things."
"Well, we're martial artists."
"Good grief."
When Wei Jeong-han showed irritation, Jeokan-u giggled.
"You have quite an innocent side, don't you?"
"Shut up. Before I pour all this alcohol on you."
"A man who says he has a wife back home."
"Ugh."
Wei Jeong-han shook his head back and forth.
"At first you acted so serious… You've really become sly."
"Is that so? Then that must be good."
Wei Jeong-han nodded his head.
But inwardly he was thinking something else.
'Is it really good?'
When they first met, Jeokan-u might have seemed cold, but he didn't look as anxious as he does now. But the current Jeokan-u was like someone being chased by someone.
He was desperately pretending to be calm, but the great chaos rising in his heart was clearly visible even to Wei Jeong-han's eyes.
"Listen, Wei Jeong-han."
"Speak."
Jeokan-u called Wei Jeong-han but just quietly stared at him without saying anything.
After staring at Wei Jeong-han for a long while, Jeokan-u slowly opened his mouth.
"What would you do if your body were tied with strings that couldn't be cut?"
"…What do you mean by that?"
"Just like I said: there are strings attached to your hands and feet. But you can't cut those strings by your own power. And someone is trying to control you by moving those strings. Then what would you do?"
Wei Jeong-han quietly drank his alcohol.
Then he sighed.
"It seems like a meaningless story."
"Meaningless?"
"Isn't the premise wrong? I don't understand the idea of strings that can't be cut in the first place, but even if such things existed, what would it matter?"
"…"
"The problem isn't that there are strings tied to your hands and feet, but that there's someone trying to control you, isn't it?"
Jeokan-u's eyes widened.
"If there's no one trying to pull those strings, then the strings tied to your hands and feet would just be a minor inconvenience you'd have to endure. But if he exists and you only cut the strings, next time you'd be tied with rope, and the time after that with chains. Isn't that right?"
Jeokan-u nodded without answering.
"Then you'd have to take the strings away from the hands of the one holding them. That's what you should do, isn't it?"
"What if that's impossible?"
"There's no such thing as impossible."
Wei Jeong-han chuckled.
"You're just afraid to try, and scared of the damage that might come back."
Just like me now.
Wei Jeong-han laughed with a tsk-tsk.
When he himself couldn't change the situation he was in and was only worrying about it, what did he know to be spouting such words?
Dreamer, a fool who only ran his mouth.
That was the maximum evaluation Wei Jeong-han could give himself right now.
"Because of fear…"
Jeokan-u lifted his cup and looked at his own face reflected in the wine.
How would his current appearance look in his own eyes?
"Those words are right. So right that it's sad."
"…"
"I'm a coward."
Jeokan-u smiled subtly.
"I've made up my mind."
"Made up your mind?"
"Yes. I can't give the Righteous Hero Sword a coward for a friend. At least if he's the friend of the Righteous Hero Sword Wei Jeong-han, he shouldn't be like that. The Righteous Hero Sword's friend should at least not be a coward."
Wei Jeong-han laughed helplessly.
"Who said we were friends?"
"Aren't we?"
"…"
Jeokan-u's eyes quietly gazing at him.
He couldn't joke in the face of those eyes.
"Fine. Let's be friends. Let's call it friendship."
"See?"
Jeokan-u smiled brightly.
The more he looked at this person, the more incomprehensible he became.
Wei Jeong-han would probably never understand the bitterness hidden in that smile for his entire lifetime.
"So…"
Jeokan-u said with a gentle smile.
"As a friend, may I ask one favor?"
* * *
Wei Jeong-han rubbed his eyelids.
'Damn it.'
He'd rather not have such dreams.
He understood.
The surrounding situation was driving him into memories of that time. Because the Demonic Cult was rampant.
The memories he had forgotten… no, had lived trying to forget were being revived along with the name of the Demonic Cult.
"Whew…"
Wei Jeong-han sighed deeply and raised his body.
"Are you alright, dear?"
At Han Sang-ah's words, Wei Jeong-han nodded his head.
"I'm fine. Just had some old thoughts."
"You should forget them now."
"I should. I should, but… it doesn't happen as I wish."
Han Sang-ah looked at Wei Jeong-han with pitying eyes.
This was why she couldn't follow when their son returned home. Although he was sometimes annoying, Wei Jeong-han, who had always maintained tranquility, had been rapidly deteriorating recently.
He kept suffering from nightmares and showing anxiety. How could she go anywhere leaving such a husband behind?
Han Sang-ah picked up the towel placed at the bedside and wiped the sweat that had formed abundantly on Wei Jeong-han's face.
"Dear…"
"I'm fine. I'm fine, Sang-ah."
Wei Jeong-han got up from his seat and lifted the teapot, drinking gulp gulp.
'Damn it.'
Curses kept rising up.
'It's already finished business. So what lingering attachment remains that keeps bringing up these thoughts?'
"You need to forget."
At Han Sang-ah's words, Wei Jeong-han raised his head and looked at her.
"Not for your sake, but for the children's sake too… you need to forget now, dear."
"You're right."
Though it's a problem that it doesn't happen as he wishes.
Wei Jeong-han lifted the teapot once more and drank gulp gulp, then let out a low sigh.
'Damn friend.'
Why did he leave such a heavy burden on him?
"…Friends truly are frightening things."
"So do you regret it?"
At Han Sang-ah's question, Wei Jeong-han let out a hollow laugh.
"Dear."
"Yes."
"That was the best decision of my life."
A smile also appeared on Han Sang-ah's face.
"There can be no regret. I gained more than I lost, so how could I regret it? I'm just worried. When the children accept the truth, what will they think?"
"You don't need to worry about that."
Han Sang-ah spoke with conviction.
"You didn't do your part, but I did everything I was supposed to do."
"Ugh, does it work that way?"
Wei Jeong-han turned his head and looked at the distant sky.
'Troubled times are coming again.'
In troubled times, everything gets mixed up. Justification and profit get mixed up, courage and fear get mixed up.
And… even truth and falsehood get mixed up.
That's why he was worried.
In the great whirlpool called troubled times, would they be able to properly recognize the truth?
Wei Jeong-han would rather bury the truth in mud forever, but the approaching storm was so powerful that it was turning over even the topsoil.
Eventually, everyone would come to know the truth.
"I'll have to trust them."
"Yes."
Wei Jeong-han clenched his fist tightly.
"Our children are strong. So they won't waver before any truth. I… I believe that."
"Yes, dear."
The two people clasped each other's hands.
But one streak.
The dark clouds cast over Wei Jeong-han's face had not yet disappeared.
'But how they will move… '
He must hide it.
As long as he can hide it.
Because no one knows how they will move if that fact is revealed.
But Wei Jeong-han also didn't know.
That the movement had already begun.
That the great whirlpool that would shake the world had already approached right up to their doorstep.