"Young Lord... The act of cultivating itself... is slowly killing you."
"!!!!"
Doctor Guyang felt a deep sense of guilt revealing this to the young lord, knowing that it was something the young lord had been striving for, dedicating years of effort toward.
But there was no other choice as the truth had to be revealed eventually, and with the current situation, he couldn't delay it no longer.
All he could do was hope that upon hearing this, the young lord would understand the futility of continuing his pursuit of cultivation blindly, so that it would no longer obstruct his future.
'... No... Way...'
The reality of the situation finally settled in, and I felt a profound despair wash over me.
To think that the very restrictions I had sought to overcome were, in fact, the very things that were preserving my life.
Considering that it seems that everything I did just to break through my qi blockages ended up backfiring, striking me directly in the face.
Upon overcoming one obstacle, a far greater and deadlier one had emerged, one that I had no means of overcoming.
Anyone observing this could clearly see how fate seemed to toy with me, pushing me to the brink of despair no matter what I did to overcome it.
'Does that mean I have been cultivating nothing but death energy this whole week?'
I recalled my previous cultivation sessions and realized that what I had been doing for the entire week were essentially suicidal acts.
I had accumulated at least a year's worth of internal energy but since what I had been absorbing was death energy, not life energy, it was more accurate to say I had amassed a year's worth of death energy.
I'm in a really bad situation right now since it was revealed that for me was a extremely dangerous act.
As I had noted before, merely being near a large concentration of death energy was enough to kill a weak and frail person over time.
Now, with that energy coursing and circulating through my body, it was far more lethal, spreading from my dantian throughout my entire system.
Yet an even more pressing matter emerged upon realization by interpreting what this revelation meant.
"What do I do now, Doctor Guyang? As you've seen, my qi blockages are all gone. Doesn't that mean nothing is stopping my unconscious cultivation from absorbing death energy?"
This was a critical issue. I had been cultivating continuously for a week, and now, combined with the revelation of unconscious cultivation, the danger was even more apparent.
I recalled a time in my previous life when I accidentally broke one of my qi blockages. Days later, I felt myself progressively weakening like I was aging faster, my lifespan reducing at a faster pace than normal.
With that memory in mind, I realized my body might already be in a critical state that it was teetering between life and death from the death energy I had been inhaling.
Though I hadn't yet felt its effects, I refused to risk dying again, especially when this new life had just begun even if my hopes were currently being extinguished.
"Hmm... Perhaps we could create an artificial blockage to prevent any more death energy from entering. That would seal your meridians again,... but it would also seal your ability to cultivate."
"Sealing... My... Cultivation..."
I was now faced with a choice: accept the sealing of my meridians and guarantee my survival, or refuse and continue cultivating despite the very real risk of a sudden, untimely death.
I wished I didn't have to make such a choice. Choosing the latter would be suicidal, wasting this precious second chance. But choosing the former would leave me powerless to confront future threats.
Both options were something I desperately wanted, yet if it came to losing my life, the rational choice was clear.
'If I choose to accept the sealing of my meridians, I won't have any chance to grow strong enough to prevent "That Day."'
Strength would be essential to overcoming the adversities ahead, and "That Day" was only the beginning of it.
If I abandoned cultivation, I would not be able to protect Geonu or the others when the time finally came.
Yet, despite knowing that my inability to cultivate might actually be saving me, my intense craving reacted violently, resisting against the thoughts of giving up cultivation.
I had been enduring this internal struggle to remain composed, but now, I realized I might not be able to maintain that control much longer.
'Perhaps I should accept it. If I die, I won't even get to enjoy this second chance I've been given.'
The intense craving responded aggressively, sending more whispers to drown out that thought.
But I maintained control, fending off the intense craving influence, even so I also wanted to resist the thought of giving up.
I had worked for twenty years shedding sweat, tears, and blood believing I could somehow change my fate. Letting all that effort go to waste was unbearably painful.
Yet, deep down, I knew there was only one viable option but I also know that giving up forever was not a choice I could ever accept.
'Let's accept the sealing of my meridians. I can devise a different strategy to overcome "That Day" and perhaps find a way to deal with the death energy.'
Reluctantly, I resolved to have my meridians sealed, but I had not given up on cultivation entirely with the hopes that one day I could overcome this problem like the ones before.
The intense craving gradually subsided upon sensing my determination but still maintains it's oppressive influence.
Although I would pause cultivation for now, it did not mean the end. Once I found a solution, I could resume. Waiting a little longer wouldn't erase the years of effort I had invested.
I still had to find a way later to prevent the tragedy of "That Day," and I was determined to think of another method of resistance that would aligned without the requirement of cultivation.
It was now time to give my answer to Doctor Guyang, who had waited respectfully while I made my decision.
"I think I'll choose sealing my meri—"
"But before you answer that... I must ask you, how were you able to break through those qi blockages in the first place?"
"?!!!"
I barely had time to react to his interruption, it was rude to cut me off mid-sentence, but the hearing and understanding nature of his question was serious.
Doctor Guyang was asking about how I was able to breakthrough my qi blockages a feat that normally required a master of his caliber.
Of course, I could not reveal the exact method, as that would expose my act of ignorance of obliviousness to the situation.
"I don't know... I only realized just now that I even have a dantian."
"Is that so? Hmm..."
I carefully crafted my excuse since a careless response would have exposed me immediately.
But what was the point in hiding it now? I had already decided to seal my meridians. It was merely to avoid any further trouble.
It seems my excuse did not fully alleviate Doctor Guyang's doubts as his expression grew more suspicious.
"It's not that I don't believe young lord, but you can be rest assured, I won't tell anyone of what you're hiding."
"W-What do you mean by that?"
"I mean to ask Young Lord,.. did you rely on demonic arts to do it?"
"??!!"
This was entirely unexpected. I never imagined he would ask if I used demonic arts to break through my qi blockages.
Was he suspecting that I had used forbidden arts to achieve what I did and form my dantian against all odds?
Although I was shaken, I responded quickly, denying any association with such methods.
"Demonic arts?! No way! I would never use such things to cultivate!"
Demonic arts are martial or cultivation methods that are referred as forbidden acts that involves consuming human flesh, drinking blood, violating women, etc. in order to gain extraordinary strength.
They allow one to achieve impossible feats in a short time, but at the cost of one's own sanity and humanity.
I could understand why he suspected me. My Reverse Qi Flow Method had been inspired by a demonic art I had once been offered to learn as a scholar.
Of course, I had refused and had that person arrested, but I had retained the inspiration, which led to the creation of the Reverse Qi Flow Method.
'Perhaps it wouldn't be wrong to reveal the Reverse Qi Flow Method as an unknown demonic art.'
Demonic arts are widely criticized and rejected by other factions, but in our cult, their usage is allowed as long as the person performing it was in control.
Revealing my method in this way would allow me to use it freely, though I would have to explain its origin.
That could be easily managed by attributing it to a forgotten grave where I found a qi herb, left behind as an inheritance by someone who had passed.
It was common for those who used demonic arts to leave their techniques behind in graves, as having successors willing to learn were rare.
"W-Well, I don't know if it can be considered one, but I found a cultivation method in an unknown grave beside a qi herb in the forest."
"Unknown grave? Young Lord, may I see this cultivation method?"
"Of course, but I no longer have the manual. I burned it after memorizing the method, so I can only explain it verbally."
"I see... That's fine. Please tell me."
I began explaining the Reverse Qi Flow Method in as much detail as possible, ensuring Doctor Guyang listened carefully.
I spoke in a way a fifteen-year-old inexperienced boy would, avoiding any sudden maturity in my tone.
Doctor Guyang listened attentively, analyzing every detail, trying to discern whether the method could achieve what I claimed.
'Hmm... This is more a Qi method than a demonic art... He likely used it in conjunction with the qi herb and accidentally broke through his qi blockages, sustaining severe internal injuries.'
Doctor Guyang found the Young Lord's explanation credible. He judged the method not as demonic art, but as a suicide technique.
It was a suicidal method that could cause slow death, but might work for someone with reverse meridians, though it would not solve the main problem.
He wondered if the original creator of the technique had faced similar challenges and have been able to overcome them.
Still, he could not risk encouraging an unproven method that might endanger his patient, the young lord.
"I see... Young Lord. Shall we proceed with sealing your meridians? The sooner we do it, the more damage we can prevent."
"Ah… yes, please proceed."
It was heartbreaking to agree, but even if my meridians were sealed, I would find another solution. I refused to give up on cultivation.
I removed my upper clothing, exposing my back so that Doctor Guyang can access my meridians.
Although Doctor Guyang was surprised by the sudden slightly change in the young lord's body he chose to focus more at what was Important.
He placed his hands on my back, sending his internal energy into my meridians, a sensation far more uncomfortable than a pulse reading.
'This must have been such a hard decision for the young lord... For years, he wanted to cultivate, but now, when he finally could, he had to seal them. If he didn't,.. he wouldn't even live to enjoy it.'
Doctor Guyang knew the young lord had relentlessly pursued cultivation since the death of his mother, Lady Yeon, and understood the risks he had taken.
He had survived multiple assassination attempts due to his status as an illegitimate heir which made the clans of legitimate heirs despise his existence.
Despite being far behind legitimate heirs, he was still a target as he was still a potential threat to the succession of the throne.
Doctor Guyang could not help but pity him, though he was only here under orders and other reasons, he was unable to allow the young lord to further endanger himself.
'Young lord,.. even if you are not fated for the martial path, there are other paths just as noble.'
He hoped the young lord might choose another path, preserving life even if it meant losing his claim to the throne.
Focusing on the task, Doctor Guyang spread his internal energy through my meridians down to the lower abdomen, where the dantian resided.
He was shocked that the young lord had even formed a dantian, as it normally required life energy, but he assumed the qi herb had made it possible.
'Hmm..? How can I sense qi residing in the dantian? There shouldn't be any.'
After reaching the dantian, he intended to start the sealing there. Breaking it apart was not advisable, due to potential side effects.
Unexpectedly, he sensed internal energy in the dantian although small and insignificant it was still surprising as this would indicated that the young lord had been cultivating secretly.
'Wait, no... it could be remaining qi from the qi herb, stored along with the formation of the dantian.'
He noted qi remained across the young lord body, which could be absorbed upon cultivation. It would be wasted if it was to be expelled so He chose to use it for forming the artificial qi blockages.
Before beginning the sealing, Doctor Guyang spread his energy throughout my body to examine my condition clearly, since previously he had been distracted by the present dantian.
'Hmm…? how come?!'
He noticed something odd. He noticed the fragile state of the meridians and severe internal injuries but that wasn't what he was shocked.
He expected the young lord's body to begin deteriorating rapidly from the circulating death energy.
Instead, the young lord's body seemed to strengthen with every passing minute, like that of normal people but at faster pace.
'How can the young lord's body defy all odds? Instead of weakening, it grows stronger!'
He examined the young lord's body further, searching for the source of this strange phenomenon.
Closer inspection revealed the young lord's body seemed to flourish from the death energy, as if it were life energy but at a faster pace than he had ever seen.
The speed of the circulation of death energy throughout his body resembled that of a heavenly gifted martial body.
'This is different from what I expected. I thought he'd worsen over time, but instead he benefiting from the circulating death energy.'
Doctor Guyang realized something extraordinary was happening, something he had never considered or imagined was actually possible.
Death energy, normally lethal to all that is living as it's polar opposite, was instead strengthening me as a substitute for life energy.
He felt a new hope was arising for the young lord after
years of relentless pursuit and withdrew his internal energy.
'Hmm…?? Why did Doctor Guyang stop suddenly? Did something happen? Did he fail to seal my meridians?'
From the moment his energy entered my body, the intense craving attempted to prevent the sealing. I had suppressed it with all my focused so that it wouldn't disturbing the sealing process.
I was confused why Doctor Guyang withdrew his internal energy before he could even starting the sealing process.
'Did he notice my internal energy? Did he discover that I lied and cultivated secretly? Or is my death energy too strong to be sealed?'
I could only wait for his response, knowing he alone could answer my questions and either erase or prove my fears to be true.
"Hmm… Young Lord, I have discovered a strange anomaly within you that may solve all our problems."
"What do you mean?"
After a long pause, Doctor Guyang spoke, his words bringing relief that I wasn't discovered lying.
I was still confused by what he meant by what he said was there something strange beyond my fragile, severely injured body?
Yet I no longer needed to wait in suspense, as he began to explain further at least that was what I thought.
"Young Master… it seems that perhaps there was no need to worry and seal your meridians as the problem may have solved itself"
"??!!"
****