(Tilly)
"I didn't mean it, Chase. I was angry and scared and I didn't—I would never—"
"It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay." He grabbed the blanket from the bed and pulled it over both of us. He fell back, me on top of him. "Shit. I have to get you warm."
He started rubbing my back. The friction, the heat of his body—slowly, the shivering eased.
"You're alright, sweetheart. You're alright."
I pulled back slightly and kissed his cheek.
He froze beneath me.
"You are something special," I whispered. "You know that, right?"
He stared at me. His eyes glistened. Or maybe it was my imagination. Maybe it was my own tears.
"Actually," he said, "I'm not. My brother's the special one. I'm just... trouble"
He chuckled gruffly. "More trouble than I'm worth, I'm afraid"
"Well." I paused. Cradling his face like he was the most precious thing to me in the whole wide world, probably because he was "You are. Sweetheart." I borrowed his word of endearment.
Then his arms tightened, and he kissed me softly.
"Well, you'd be the first person who thinks that. Thank you, little princess"
I pulled back just enough to see his face.
His eyes were bloodshot. The kind of red that came from tears, not rain.
"Chase? What's wrong?"
He didn't answer. His chest heaved. His hands trembled where they held me.
"Chase."
"Nothing" His voice cracked.
"Baby" I whispered, caressing his face. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge you for it"
He blinked back tears.
"Everything they have ever said about me, is true"
"Who said?"
"Everyone. You" He took a long, shuddering breath. "Everything is my fault, Tilly."
"Chase—"
He blinked, and tears fell. He didn't wipe them away.
"And all I feel all the god-damned time is hate." He took a deep breath. "Hate and anger and disappointment."
His jaw tightened. His eyes slipped closed, like he couldn't bear to look at me.
I cradled his face in my hands. Gently.
"All I am all the time is hate, anger, and disappointment. Except when I am with you... then I'm just a whore"
He chuckled lightly but it was at his own expense. "I'm happiest when I'm just... your whore of Troita, Winchester. When I kiss you or stick my fingers in you. When I am close to you"
He chuckled again.
"This is going to sound corny but...I want to be your whore all the time. Because I'm so fucking tired of hate, and anger and disappointment. I'm so fucking tired of being Chase"
He was crying fully now. "But I can't stop being Chase. Being Chase is my penance. My punishment"
I tilted his face up until he had no choice but to meet my eyes.
"Who would you rather be then?" I asked him.
"Greyson" he sniffled. "I want to be Greyson"
I leaned in and kissed his neck. I couldn't relate about being a different person than I was but I could feel the pain coming out of him.
"What's Greyson like?" I asked him.
"He's not the Alpha's son or the pack's heir. He's fun. And silly. He laughs. He lives in a small cottage in Emerald City. With his pregnant wife, Tilly and their one eyed dog, Bark"
He stood up and started pacing.
"He's not trapped in Ze, in an alliance he wants nothing to do with. With a girl that hates him. With a family that wants him to be someone he's not"
I stood and went to him. He paced more.
"I have to go. I want to go." He grabbed both sides of my face. He was gasping, shaking. "I want to breathe."
"Then go," I whispered.
He swallowed. His throat bobbed. His hands were still shaking.
"Can't."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Well, I do know. I could have disappeared," he said quietly. "The engagement was off. You called it off. I could have walked out that door and never looked back. Be free for the first time in my life."
"Then why didn't you?"
He held my gaze. "Because freedom doesn't taste like anything if you're not there, Tilly."
My breath caught. Took a step closer to him. Almost tempted to kiss him.
"What is freedom to you, Greyson?" I asked.
His eyes lit up just like that.
Then that slow, familiar smile touched his lips—not his wicked smirk, but something softer. Something almost afraid.
"Why don't I show you, Winchester?"
My heart stuttered. I couldn't possibly leave for emerald City with a boy i broke up with "My Dragon Bonding ceremony is in a few hours. I can't just up and go with—"
"I will have you back by then." He stepped closer, his hand finding mine. "And when we come back… if you want to marry me, I'll marry you. If you want to leave me forever, I will obey your wishes. But at least you will know exactly who I am. The real me"
I stared at him. "Really?"
He nodded.
"It's the only choice I've ever wanted to give you."
The rain hammered against the window. And standing there, soaked and shaking and more honest than I'd ever seen him, Chase Dubois—the whore of Troita, the rake, the man I'd hated and loved in equal measure—waited for my answer.
I took his hand.
"Then show me."
He smiled—not his wicked smirk, but something softer.
And we ran.