Chapter Summary: Local twink beats himself up after intrusive thoughts gain wings.
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Dark wings, dark words.
It was an idiom he had heard once.
Sunny wasn't sure when or where. He wasn't even sure in which life, his own or one of the many he had lived through dreams.
Thunder split the sky, illuminating the dark clouds for a fraction of a second before being swallowed once more by the unending storm that defined the Stormsea.
Beating his shadow wings, he dodged to the left, narrowly avoiding the charge of one of the Nightmare Creatures pursuing him. It was, along with its brethren, one of the most disgusting creatures he had ever seen, which was saying something.
They looked like... well, he didn't know what they looked like. He had never been the most educated, and while the dreams had helped, his catalogue of animals still wasn't very extensive.
Sunny's tangent was interrupted -rather rudely, he had to add- by one of the creatures descending upon him with sharp talons and an even sharper beak as long as he was tall.
The creature was akin to a bird in shape, but its proportions were all wrong. Its torso was long enough to resemble a snake and so wide it bordered on the grotesque. Its whole body and wings were covered in thin, sharp feathers, as straight as arrows and of a sickly yellow colour. For talons, it had cruel-looking bone blades, and its head was round and fat, with sinister yellow eyes and a vicious beak that it was currently trying to kill him with.
He evaded where he could and parried where he couldn't, fending off the assault of the Corrupted Monster with his odachi.
Dark wings, dark words.
The idiom returned to him once more as he fought against the creature.
His eyes drifted involuntarily away from the horrid creature attempting to take his life and toward the place where his original body and Nephis were sleeping. The storm blocked his sight; the violent winds, combined with the relentless rain, formed a barrier his vision could not penetrate.
It did not make any difference. He could imagine it as vividly as if he were right there. He was, after all. As disorienting as it still was at times, he was one mind with eight different bodies, and as such was perfectly aware of everything going on with them.
Except that he now only had seven.
Sunny blocked the next sharp talon and retaliated, cutting off the extremity. The avian shrieked in pain and fury, its aggression increasing twofold in the same breath.
For the first time, one of his shadows was gone.
Haughty, who had accompanied him through the darkest parts of his life, was well and truly gone, thoroughly destroyed by Anvil.
There was no recovering him. Sunny knew it with the same certainty with which he knew he would not rest until revenge was exacted, just as surely as he knew that he hated Fate.
Sunny dodged once more and sent his odachi in a downward slash that cut cleanly through the wide chest of the creature flying before him. It froze midair for a second, its malevolent eyes filled with shock and pain, before falling in two clean pieces.
[You have slain a Corrupted Monster, Fledgling of...]
He did not have time to hear the rest before he was attacked by the remainder of the flock, which had gone mad after witnessing the fall of their sibling.
It had been what, a month? Two at most?
A dry laugh escaped him as he slipped between the gaps in the combined attacks, earning himself a dozen scratches in the process.
Two months, and he had already repelled a Gate, defeated three Saints, conquered a Citadel in yet another death zone, fought a Supreme, and was currently battling an entire horde of Nightmare Creatures, many of them of the Corrupted Rank.
"Beloved child of Fate, indeed," he muttered bitterly.
It was as though he had never escaped, a thought that had been circulating through his mind more and more lately.
Sunny augmented his weight to the maximum with [Feather of Truth] and punched one of the creatures in the side of the head, making it explode in a shower of blood.
What had changed? Truly changed?
He was still fighting for his life way too often.
He was still weak. So weak he couldn't do anything to Anvil.
He still felt lost and aimless, stuck between two choices that even now he couldn't come to terms with.
He was still alone, isolated from the world not by distance this time, but by knowledge. The knowledge that once the truth came out, he would be left alone yet again.
Sunny hadn't been sure at first -had been afraid of knowing- but it was in his nature to notice details like those, to ascertain the motives of everyone around him, to spot the small inconsistencies that revealed carefully concealed truths. It made it all the more ironic that he hadn't seen their betrayal coming.
And now the truth was staring him straight in the eye.
They did not know.
Rain, Effie, Kai, the Firekeepers, none of them knew.
With a mental command, the shadows answered, coiling around him while he swelled in size, becoming a colossus capable of crushing Nightmare Creatures with a single swing of his equally titanic blade.
The flock answered his transformation with further aggression, their maddened shrieks piercing sharply through the storm as they dove toward him with murder in their eyes.
Sunny wondered if he looked the same in theirs, if, to the Nightmare Creatures, he was as vile and disgusting as they were to him, a being so abhorrent as to be anathema to their very reality.
Was that why they attacked on sight? The reason why any contact with humanity was met with overwhelming aggression? Was he the monster in their eyes?
Or was it just him?
If so, why?
What was it about him that was so disgusting, so vile and repugnant as to always be rejected?
Nobody had ever chosen him.
Not a single person.
Sunny held no doubts about what would happen if he told the truth. If he revealed what had truly taken place at the Crimson Spire.
They would choose Nephis, just as everyone else in his life had always chosen someone or something else. Maybe that was his true flaw, and the Spell was merely playing another cruel joke at his expense by making him unable to lie on top of it all.
A sharp beak struck his shoulder, piercing through the shroud of shadows but failing to reach his real body, hidden deep within the colossus. Letting out an annoyed huff, he drew away, avoiding in the process the pincer attack of two more creatures.
They still swarmed him with ease, talons and beaks flashing against reinforced shadows without any hint of self-preservation. The flock had one single purpose -bringing him down- and they would not rest until the task was done.
He welcomed their attempts. The more they tried to kill him, the less time he had to dwell on his dark thoughts.
A swing of his odachi reaped the lives of a dozen, yet dozens more kept appearing, descending endlessly upon him with mad fury.
Involuntarily, a mad laugh escaped him.
Maybe he had more in common with these forsaken creatures than he did with other humans.
Wasn't he hated and feared, too? Seen as disgusting? Rejected by all?
Sunny kept laughing as he fought, swinging madly with both odachi and shadows, reaping life after life with reckless abandon.
Dark wings, dark words.
The idiom circled through Sunny's mind like a curse, repeating itself between the shrieks of the flock and the endless growl of thunder above.
Another creature slammed into the colossus with enough force to stagger him slightly. Sunny retaliated immediately, sweeping his massive blade in a brutal arc that scattered the attackers and sent several tumbling into the storm below.
Still, they came, as relentless as the storm itself and just as numerous.
Dark wings, dark words.
A bitter smile touched his lips. It was fitting, in a way.
When had his life been anything but dark and desolate?
The flock descended, shrieking madly, and Sunny met them head-on.
His odachi carved through one creature while his other hand caught another by the throat before hurling it away hard enough to send it crashing through several of its kin. Shadows lashed outward in the form of chains, crushing wings, and snapping bodies from the air.
But even as he fought, his thoughts refused to quiet.
Once the journey was over, once they were safely sheltered behind the walls of Ravenheart and under the dubious protection of Ki Song, and they didn't need his protection anymore, he would tell the truth.
He had already delayed for far too long, allowing fear and insecurity to dictate his actions instead of his better judgment. It had been nice while it lasted. Warm. Comforting.
And that was exactly why he had to do it. If he waited any longer, he wouldn't have the strength to do it anymore.
Sunny had already refused to live within the lies woven by Eirene. He refused to live within one of his own making.
He was afraid.
Scratch that, he was terrified.
The moment of truth would arrive, and he would receive confirmation of what he already knew. Yet another scar would be carved into his heart, another heartbreak added to the list. And yet, not even for a moment did he allow himself to consider the possibility of remaining silent.
"I want to live," he whispered while delivering another devastating attack.
That was the conclusion he had arrived at within the Nightmare. And this? This was not living.
He refused to keep cowering, refused to be afraid of the truth, of more scars and disappointments.
A talon scraped across his giant chest, snapping Sunny out of his thoughts. The shadow colossus reeled slightly as several creatures attacked at once, their maddened cries echoing through the storm.
Sunny answered with violence.
The odachi descended once more, and a shriek echoed, followed by many others.
The flock swarmed harder, their maddened minds incapable even of considering retreat, and somewhere amidst the chaos of battle, Sunny began to feel unsettled.
Something felt... wrong. Absent.
His movements slowed for the briefest moment as he tore another attacker from the air. The feeling worsened immediately, leaving him strangely off-balance despite the shadows reinforcing every part of his body.
What was missing?
The distraction cost him instantly.
A cyclopean Corrupted Demon crashed into him, shattering his shadow chest apart, followed by another large shape that burst through the storm and struck him before he could fully react. The impact shattered the shell of shadows surrounding him and sent him skidding backward through the rain.
Shadows surged around him, transforming into thin, sharp needles that pierced every creature in the vicinity.
However, before he could continue his retaliation, the flock suddenly retreated.
He watched them warily. They had shown no hesitation before, and he still saw none in their maddened gazes. If anything, they looked even more determined to tear him apart.
And yet their shrieks faded into uneasy silence as they circled from afar instead of descending upon him again.
Sunny steadied himself slowly in the air, shadows writhing around his battered form in preparation for whatever they were about to do.
Then he saw it, a presence drifting through the storm toward him with slow, deliberate movements.
At first, it looked like any other of its brethren, but upon closer inspection, he noticed the difference. Its body was wrapped in layers of black feathers that shifted strangely beneath the rain, while six enormous wings stretched behind it like torn pieces of darkness.
Its head had no fixed shape. The flesh trembled and shifted constantly in a revolting manner.
Sunny felt unease crawl down his spine. He had noticed it before, lurking at the edges of the battle, but every time he attempted to take it down, the other Nightmare Creatures protected it with suicidal fervour.
It looked like he had been too slow, and now he would have to face head-on whatever surprise it had been cooking.
The creature stopped several meters away from him, and then it smiled.
His own smile stared back at him.
The thing's features had finally settled. Pale skin formed over a face that resembled his own. Long black hair spilled down narrow shoulders. Dark eyes opened beneath soaked strands.
A pale young man looked back at him, the resemblance becoming clearer with every passing second.
The creature opened its mouth and spoke. Its voice sounded distant and fractured, yet unmistakably familiar.
"Nobody chooses you."
The shadows around Sunny stirred violently.
"They never did."
Sunny moved instantly.
The sky cracked beneath the force of his acceleration as he crossed the distance between them and slammed his fist into the creature's face. The Corrupted Devil was hurled backward through the storm, but it recovered almost immediately.
When it lifted its head again, it looked even more like him.
"You hate them for it."
Sunny attacked again without a word.
The Devil moved with terrifying familiarity. Every dodge resembled his. Every movement mirrored his own habits in battle. It fought like a twisted reflection of him, becoming more accurate the longer the fight continued.
And all the while, it spoke.
"You hate how weak you are."
A claw grazed across Sunny's shoulder before shadows surged forward in retaliation.
"You hate needing people."
Sunny's jaw clenched.
"You hate that despite everything..." The creature's voice grew clearer, more unmistakably his. "...you still want someone to stay. To love you."
Sunny struck it hard enough to send it crashing toward the ocean below.
Thunder roared, and the sea exploded upward, but he only had eyes for that abominable creature.
Moments later, the Devil rose from the water once more, two black, shadowy wings unfolding slowly behind it in a perfect replica of his own. Now it looked almost exactly like him, its eyes meeting his through the storm as a sharp smirk formed over its lips.
"You hate her."
The Devil crossed the distance instantly and sent him reeling backward through the rain.
"You hate that she still matters to you."
The creature smiled with his own expression.
"You hate that she can still hurt you."
The shadows around Sunny exploded outward violently, and he descended upon the Corrupted Devil with savage force, abandoning all restraint as shadows and steel tore through the storm around them.
The creature matched him blow for blow, and Sunny realized the horrifying truth.
The Devil was not merely copying his appearance, but all of him. His thoughts, his fears, every ugly little scar hidden deep within his heart.
"You already know what will happen," the creature whispered with Sunny's own voice. "They'll choose her."
The Devil's face became perfect, an exact copy of his own. And on it, Sunny saw every trace of bitterness, pain, and hatred that he was sure could be found on his own.
"You know it's true."
Sunny's breathing grew ragged.
The flock circled from afar, not daring to interfere while the storm churned violently around them.
"You hate this." The Devil smiled faintly. "You hate loving her."
Something inside Sunny snapped, and the shadows around him became monstrous.
"I KNOW!"
His scream was swallowed by a strike of thunder, but the Devil heard him nonetheless.
"You hate yourself most of all," it said, its voice almost mournful.
The sky trembled beneath the force of their clashes while shadows devoured the storm around them. Rain streamed down Sunny's face as fury, grief, and despair poured out of him without restraint.
Every word the creature spoke dragged another hidden wound into the light. Every movement revealed yet another scar within his heart, even as he inflicted wound after ghastly wound upon the abominable being.
Until finally, Sunny seized the Devil by the throat.
The creature did not resist, too injured to do so anymore. Instead, it stared at him with pitying eyes. It hurt even more than its words.
He would have liked to say something, rebuke its words, claim that while its ability allowed it to mimic him and know the words that would hurt him most, it did not truly know him.
It would have been a lie.
Without another word, he pierced the Devil's forehead with his odachi.
[You have slain a Corrupted Devil, Fledgling of Zephiras.]
He released the corpse and watched silently as it plunged into the sea, its body quickly changing back into its original avian form.
For another second, he remained silent, and then he started laughing.
The Devil's words had helped him figure out what was missing.
"Survive, until you come back to me. You must survive."
The words echoed through his mind with terrible clarity.
Sunny stood motionless for half a second longer while the storm raged around him before engaging the flock once more. They would become a menace in the future; it was only sensible to eradicate them now, he told himself.
It had nothing to do with the fury burning inside his mind, he also told himself.
He had grown used to hearing those words, to them always being there, playing in the back of his mind. Through quiet moments and bitter battles, they had always remained.
For so long, it had been the only voice he heard besides his own. Proof that there was still life somewhere beyond the endless rivers and valleys. Proof that he had not imagined everything. Proof that he was still alive.
They were gone now. The order to return had been fulfilled at last.
And still, its echoes lingered. At times, he found himself awaiting their arrival.
His expression twisted faintly.
"At some point, a weak, pathetic part of me... started cherishing it, started finding comfort in it."
The admission, even confined to his own mind, felt disgusting.
Sunny might very well have been the most pathetic being in the world, two worlds even.
A quiet laugh escaped him while the flock attacked again, tearing open more wounds across his body.
He was even worse than a slave who trusted his master.
He had become one who found comfort in them.
Sunny's eyes drifted once more toward the distant direction of the Ivory Tower, toward the place where his original body rested beside Nephis beneath the shadowed gazebo.
Grief twisted painfully inside his chest like a wound that refused to stop bleeding, no matter how much he tried to stitch it shut.
Haughty was gone.
One of the few constants in his life, one of the few beings he could trust completely, was gone, erased beneath Anvil's blade.
And in the aftermath of that loss, desperate for comfort, desperate for anything that could dull the ache even slightly...
He had reached for Nephis.
Of all the people he could have reached for, he had reached for her.
Sunny laughed again, tears streaming down his face, swallowed by the rain before they could reach his chin.
Nothing had changed. Nothing at all.
He was still trapped, only now it was by her instead of the Dream Realm.
He was still weak, so weak that he searched for comfort in the second person he hated most.
Another creature lunged toward him, and Sunny met it with his gauntleted fist.
Only then did he realize that somewhere amidst the frenzy, his odachi had vanished, dismissed unconsciously in favour of bringing death to the creatures with his own two hands.
The flock descended upon him wildly.
Sunny answered with equal madness.
"It hurts," he muttered quietly as his fist crashed into another creature, bone crunching beneath the impact. "It hurts so damn much." A savage smile spread slowly across his face. "And yet it's nothing compared to how much my chest hurts."
Dark wings, dark words.
Fitting, considering that his thoughts were even darker.
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The battle dragged on as he painted the skies in red and black. The corpses of countless Nightmare Creatures rained down into the sea, never to be seen again.
Thunder rolled endlessly overhead, swallowing the dying shrieks of the abominations and his own mad screams in equal measure.
One by one, the creatures fell.
Some died beneath his fists, others were torn apart by shadows, and several simply died on the spot, their bodies reduced to desiccated husks by [Endbringer]'s sinister might.
Eventually, the flock started thinning, bleeding creatures without stop, just as his heart bled.
Until finally, only one remained.
The last Nightmare Creature circled him warily beneath the black sky before diving in one final desperate attack. Stories could have been told of its bravery, of its fortitude, of its determination to end the menace that had killed so many of its brethren.
None would.
Sunny plucked the string of life from the air and sent a stream of essence through it. The creature died long before reaching him.
[You have slain a Fallen Demon, Nestling of Zephiras.]
[You have acquired a Memory: Swift Talon.]
[Your shadow grows stronger.]
At last, silence returned to the Stormsea, or at least as close to silence as the Stormsea ever allowed.
Sunny stood amidst the rain, breathing harshly.
Exhaustion dragged at every part of him now that the fight was over. His body shuddered, covered in wounds that were already closing while the storm washed dark blood and rainwater alike from his skin.
If only the rain could also cleanse him of his dark thoughts...
"Get it together, Sunny," he muttered to himself. "This is not the time to mope around."
How many times had he already said that to himself? It had to be an incredibly large number by now.
Sunny brought up his runes, if only to drag his mind away from the even darker turn it was taking.
[Name: Sunless.]
[True Name: Lost from Light.]
[Class: Terror.]
[Shadow Cores: 6/7.]
Not allowing himself to linger on the shard of ice stabbing into his heart at the reminder, he continued.
[Shadow Fragments: 101/7000.]
...
[Memories: Silver Bell... Swift Talon.]
[Memory Name: Swift Talon.]
[Memory Description:
Proud Merias gazed down upon the loathsome bird with disdain.
"And who are you to approach my hoard so boldly?" he asked.
"Mine is the right to take all that glitters, so who are you to deny me?" The cunning bird replied.
And so they spoke, neither of them knowing that from their union, a new calamity would be unleashed upon the realms.]
Resting in his hand was what looked like a kukri made of a yellow, almost golden metal that shone radiantly with each strike of thunder. Its sole enchantment was nothing special, merely an enhancement to its sharpness.
The description, as usual, brought forth many questions. Also, as usual, he was not in the right state of mind to ponder what it could mean.
He was distracted from that train of thought when he noticed a bright golden light in the distance. It was small, so small that he wouldn't have noticed it were it not for how dark everything else was in comparison.
Blinking at the sight, he narrowed his eyes, trying to get a better look. However, before he could, the light dimmed and disappeared as though it had never been there.
Sunny shrugged, far too exhausted -physically and emotionally alike- to care. He would tell Cassie to switch course later. Things like that always meant bad news in the Dream Realm. Better to avoid whatever the source was.
He turned around to return to the Ivory Tower. Rest beckoned, and while his original body was already asleep, it would do him well to let the others rest, too.
His heart nearly leapt into his throat when he realized that, right behind him -somehow having evaded his shadow sense all along- there was a massive raven standing upon the air as though it were solid ground.
"My, you seemed quite distraught, Sunless."