Cressida POV
Time has a way of moving faster when you wish it would slow down.
The moon grows each night, working toward being full, even when it hides behind a cover of clouds. Then, after it spends a night showing off its full beauty, it will start to diminish one sliver at a time.
It has no idea that it's counting down the days until my wedding. Even if it knew, it wouldn't care.
It's both the cruelest and most comforting aspect of time. It moves forward. You might perceive it as faster or slower, but the events you dread or look forward to will arrive. Then, they'll pass.
I wish I could be that unfazed by the world around me. That the future spread out before me felt distant and inconsequential instead of feeling dreadful.
But the reality is that the night of my wedding grows closer each day, and nothing can stop or postpone it. Well, nothing short of extreme measures or a sudden change of heart from the pack leaders.
If I wasn't a failed werewolf, I'd pray to the Moon Mother (or Moon Goddess, depending on which title your pack prefers). But if I wasn't a failed werewolf, I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with.
The Moon Mother. A divine being. The progenitor of werewolves who watches over and protects us, at least according to the legends passed down through countless generations.
Why would she waste her time and power on someone like me? She probably sees me as a disgrace the way that most werewolves do, or I'm at least just a disappointment in her eyes.
I don't know what I did to deserve my life turning out this way. If it's just bad luck, well, that's almost worse. You can't place blame for bad luck, and I'd really like somewhere to direct my frustration.
Instead, all I can do is direct my feelings into productive energy. Or semi-productive, if I'm being honest.
That's why I have my laptop open and powered on, sitting at the wooden desk in my bedroom like I have hundreds of times before. Except I'm not set up to do school work today. Not now that I've graduated high school and college looks to be an unlikely future path. At least for now. If this arranged marriage stunt and pack leader fight in the Harvest Moon Pack resolves soon, I might be able to divorce Luka, return home, and then work on finding my own way forward.
But that's not something worth mulling over when I have no idea how this will all turn out.
So I look for somewhere else to direct my attention. It's random at first. I don't know what I'm looking for or if there's anything to be found.
The internet is a treasure trove of information, but that becomes meaningless when you don't know what you need to learn.
Which I don't.
But I do know that the adaptation of technology into the lives of both humans and inhumans means that there's always a relevant digital footprint to find if you're willing to put in the time, effort, and patience required to dig it up.
Unfortunately, I already know that I won't find the information that would be the most useful to me. The official inhuman database's website is my first destination when my laptop is finally able to open a web browser.
We might coexist with humans, but humans have a habit of not trusting creatures that are naturally stronger than them, which is the case for most species of inhumans. The database was part of negotiations when inhumans and humans were first learning to openly live as tentative acquaintances. At its core, the database is invasive, but it's far more harmless when compared to the methods that were used to study inhuman physiology.
Which is just a fancy way to say that humans spent the early decades, after figuring out that not everyone who appears to be human actually is, learning how to contain and kill the different species.
It's taken a long time to reach a place where we aren't all hostile towards each other, like the humans and inhumans cared only about their own kind in the past. Back when we existed only as myths and legends in the human world, despite walking among them.
As wrong as it feels to have a catalog of locations where species live and general information about them, I have to admit that the werewolf section is more useful than I expected.
Not by much, but some.
I suppose I should be grateful that humans are so paranoid when it comes to those they spent centuries calling monsters and myths.
With the database, I can see the land that belongs to the Harvest Moon Pack on a map. It's larger than the area that belongs to my pack, but I already knew that was the case. I just didn't know how much larger or where it is specifically. Every time I met members of the pack, it was a neutral gathering.
While it's surrounded by wooded areas, the way we prefer it to be as werewolves, it's not isolated. Distant enough to feel private. Close enough to be connected to the luxuries of human society.
I don't know why seeing the map is comforting. Usually it's used by campers and hunters who don't want to set up in the wrong location. All this time, the situation has felt too big. It's been a mountain in my future that I couldn't see the top of or see what's behind it.
But on the map, it's just a shape that's shaded in. I know I'll be going there, but that doesn't mean I have to stay there. Maybe in a year's time the pack will figure out their leadership. Then, I'll request a divorce and return to my family.
It's not a detailed plan, and it's not a plan where I have much influence. Right now, I don't know what I can do beyond waiting and planning based on what little I know about the situation.
Still, for the first time since my meeting with Aaron, I feel like I can manage.
Be invisible. Survive.
Go home.
It's simple, right?