Shiori cleared her throat dramatically, adjusting her glasses. "Ahem. It was a Tuesday afternoon, much like this one, when two members of our esteemed organization decided that the EN headquarters would be the perfect place to test out their new... abilities."
"It was Kaela's fault for reinforcing the Yamato I summoned! She made it sharper" Bijou protested.
"Oh, so you're admitting you used it?" Kiara asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I— That's not— Look, the sword was CALLING to me!"
Gura picked up the story. "So there we were, just casually hanging out in the lobby, and Bijou decides to show me this 'really cool move' she learned."
"It WAS a really cool move!" Bijou insisted.
"The problem," Ina interjected calmly, still sketching, "was that Devil Trigger mode proved too intense—specifically designed for exponential power bursts our building couldn't contain."
"In a confined space," Kronii corrected.
"The entire lobby was ablaze," Fauna continued, sighing as she added, "with Bae casually eating popcorn on a burning couch... And my sapling charred, leaves withered from the heat."
"Right where the structural supports were," Amelia concluded.
Gigi leaned forward, ears twitching. "Not to mention my wrench..." She sighed mournfully. "Rest in peace."
Kronii arched an eyebrow. "Wasn't it just repaired?"
"It shattered again during the water buffalo incident," Gigi grumbled, flopping backward. "I accidentally launched it into orbit with my rocket gauntlets."
Kronii blinked. "...Ah. Right." She nodded, recalling precisely none of that. "Good thing I left early that morning."
Bae munching popcorn that she materialized out of nowhere asked—even though she knew the whole story—"What's next?"
Bijou's grin was absolutely wicked. "Well, the fight is so intense, and then I even put to rest the cringe deep within while activating judgements cuts!"
For those unfamiliar with Devil May Cry, a Judgment Cut was essentially a spatial slash—a cut through space itself that could tear through virtually anything. Two inexperienced users performing multiple Judgment Cuts in an enclosed space was a recipe for disaster.
Gura chimed in, "I still can't believe you were able to make that song."
Bijou laughed before giggling. "Hehe, fans asked me to make a full song during a stream, so I had to collab with some composers for both the song and video edits."
IRys added, "The level of meme culture in that song is absolutely hilarious," recalling the times she'd heard it on her own.
Bijou continued with elaborate hand gestures. "And then we Devil Triggered, and... we didn't remember much until we blew up the entire building."
"I still had that popcorn bucket from that incident," Bae said as she turned back to see the empty bucket she had displayed in the lobby for everyone to see.
Elizabeth shuddered. "Ugh... That day was miserable. How did you even get that stuff in the first place?"
"Kaela made mine!" Bijou confirmed. "That's why I decided to fight Gura—next thing I knew, the room was flooded with red and blue energy, and we felt INVINCIBLE."
"And then you both started comboing around the lobby," Nerissa prompted. "Even the color of the explosion turned purple after the finishing blow," she imagined the purple mushroom cloud and the crater.
Calli shook her head. "And then Bijou Judgment Cut—multiple times." She added, "With Gura using Dante's dual pistols... I'm guessing those were also from Kaela?"
Both Gura and Bijou answered in unison, "Yes."
Kiara sighed. "We should start checking request lists before sending them to Kaela."
Ina paused mid-sketch just long enough to murmur, "Agreed," before resuming her drawing.
"The entire fifteenth floor collapsed," Ame said matter-of-factly. "Just straight up collapsed."
"They didn't just collapse a floor, Ame," Ina corrected, while drawing on her tablet with her tentacles still holding stylus pens. She looked up at them. "They turned the HQ into a crater. We had to stream from a tent for a at least 2 days."
"Which is worse, by the way!" Kiara exclaimed with exaggerated mock annoyance.
"But wait, there's more!" Bae added gleefully. "Because the structural damage didn't stop there!"
"The weight redistribution caused a cascading failure," Ina explained, finally looking up from her artwork. "All floors of the EN building had various degrees of structural damage before the entire building collapsed. The eastern wing was especially affected—Kaela mentioned something about the eastern wing sustaining more damage than the other wings, despite the whole structure collapsing. I guess that's because the western wing is a bit older."
"The recording studios were in the eastern wing," Kiara said, pointing at Gura and Bijou accusingly. "MY recording studio was in the eastern wing! And it was GONE."
"We said we were sorry!" Gura squeaked.
"You apologized by offering me a bag of gummy sharks!"
"They were premium gummy sharks!"
The lobby filled with laughter.
"The best part," Kronii said, wiping a tear from her eye, "was when management called in the ID branch for reconstruction."
"Oh god, the ID branch," Calli groaned. "That was a humbling experience."
Fauna nodded, giggling. "Kaela showed up, took one look at the damage, and just stared at Gura and Bijou for a full minute and then she slowly says to them, 'We can fix them within a week—maybe three days if they step away from the construction zone.' or something like close to it."
"That was scarier than any yelling could have been," Bijou admitted. "Just... disappointed tone."
"And then Moona assessed the structural integrity, Reine handled the paperwork, and they had the entire building not only repaired but UPGRADED within 2 and half days," IRyS said admiringly. "ID branch doesn't mess around with construction."
"They're terrifyingly efficient," Ame agreed. "I ran the numbers, and what they accomplished in that timeframe should have been physically impossible."
"Never underestimate Indonesian efficiency," Mumei said sagely, somehow managing to sound wise despite having forgotten what she was sketching mid-sentence.
"But that wasn't even the worst incident!" Bae announced, clearly enjoying this trip down memory lane.
"Oh no," several voices groaned simultaneously.
"Oh yes! The Great Water Buffalo Stampede!"
Gura buried her face in a throw pillow. "Why do we keep bringing this up?"
"Because it was HILARIOUS," Gigi said, even though she hadn't technically been there for it. "I've seen the security footage!"
Shiori stood up dramatically, sweeping her arms wide. "Picture this: a quiet morning at the EN headquarters. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. Everyone is going about their business."
"I was trying to have a nice, peaceful breakfast," Fauna said, shaking her head at the memory.
"When suddenly," Shiori continued, "the main entrance doors EXPLODE open—"
"They didn't explode!" Gura protested weakly from behind her pillow.
"they where strapped in C4s! Of course they exploded Gura!" Shiori said as she then exclaims and continues "and so they exploded and in the stampedes of-"
"Fifteen water buffalo," Calli supplied. "I counted."
"FIFTEEN WATER BUFFALO," Shiori repeated emphatically, "with Gura riding the lead buffalo and followed by Gigi and bijou with their own buffalos like something out of an action movie!"
"In my defense," Gigi said, holding up a finger, "Gura told me they were 'emotional support buffalo'!, so technically—"
"You were an accomplice!" Kiara interrupted. "An accomplice to chaos!"
"Thank you!" Gigi and Bijou bowed.
"Where did you even GET fifteen water buffalo? And the C4s? Like... How?" Elizabeth asked, fascinated despite herself.
Gura peeked out from behind her pillow. "...Trade secret?"
"She won them in a bet," Ame revealed.
"AME!"
"What? Everyone knows anyway. You bet that underwater idol from that other agency that you could hold your breath longer than her, and when you won, she paid up in livestock."
"Why would anyone pay a bet in buffalo?" Raora asked, genuinely confused.
"Her family owns a farm!" Gura explained. "And I thought she was joking when she offered! I didn't think she'd actually show up with them!"
Bijou picked up the story. "So Gura calls me in a excitement, saying she's got fifteen water buffalo outside the building and doesn't know what to do with them, and obviously, the only logical response was—"
"To ride them through the building," Kronii finished. "Obviously. That's definitely the logical response."
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Bijou insisted. "We figured we could just quickly ride them through the lobby, out the back entrance, and into the transport trucks Gura had arranged!"
"Except?" Fauna prompted.
"Except water buffalo with C4 strapped to them are not exactly steerable," Gigi admitted. "In hindsight, the explosives were overkill, especially not when they're excited and in an unfamiliar environment."
"They went EVERYWHERE," IRyS said, laughing at the memory. "The lobby, the cafeteria, the gym—"
"One of them made it to the twelfth floor," Mumei added. "I was impressed."
"The elevator was never the same," Kronii said solemnly. "Some say you can still smell eau de buffalo to this day."
"The property damage was extensive," Ame continued. "Broken furniture, damaged walls, and let's not forget the bio-hazard cleanup that was required."
"In our defense," Bijou said, "water buffalo produce a LOT more waste than you'd expect."
"We don't need to relive that detail," Kiara said quickly.
"I still had to ask about the C4s though," Elizabeth repeated.
"Botan-senpai came two days before the incident and just gave us C4s," Bijou said, remembering the lion idol. "Just in case there was a raid or some infiltration."
Shiori's eyes lit up. "Oh yeah, I remember that! I think it was me and Ame who checked—wait a second..." She squinted, spinning her head toward the three shorter girls, who all whistled innocently and looked away.
"Of course..." Kronii said dryly. "You wasted our senpai's perfectly good C4s."
"We thought it was cool, though—"
"It was not cool," Elizabeth sighed, though she chuckled despite herself. "It was a hassle. I still remember the paperwork."
"Oh god, the paperwork..."
And once again," Calli concluded, "we had to call the ID branch for help. Kaela was REALLY not amused that time."
"After the Devil Trigger incident, Ame had them on speed dial," Gura said miserably. "And do you guys know what she said after Ame asked for speed dial?" she smirked. "I quote, 'At this point, it's more efficient to assume you'll destroy something weekly.'"
The entire lobby burst into laughter.
"To be fair to the ID branch," Fauna said kindly, "they've always come through for us. Even when we call them with the most ridiculous problems."
"Remember when we called them because Bae accidentally created a small temporal loop in the break room?" Kronii asked.
"Or when Mumei forgot she had left her civilization project running and it had evolved to the space age?" Ina added.
"Or when Sana sneezed and accidentally created a small gravitational anomaly that made everyone float?" IRyS continued.
Sana looked sheepish. "That was embarrassing. Everything was fine until someone opened a window, and then we all started drifting toward it..."
"The point is," Calli said, bringing the conversation back around, "ID branch has been incredibly patient with us. Kaela, Moona, Risu, and the others have bailed us out more times than I can count."
"We should probably send them a gift basket or something," Kiara suggested.
"A really big gift basket," Gura agreed.
"Industrial sized," Bijou added.
The group settled into comfortable chatter, the earlier stories having lightened the mood. Some members started breaking off to pursue individual activities. Fuwawa and Mococo had fully fallen asleep on their couch, curled up together and softly snoring. Ina had gone back to her art, her tentacles moving with practiced precision. Mumei was still sketching, though she seemed to have forgotten what she was sketching again and was now just drawing random shapes.
"I'm thinking of doing a late-night stream," Bae announced. "Anyone want to join? I was thinking a horror game marathon."
"I'm in," Shiori said immediately. "I've been wanting to play through that new psychological horror that just came out."
"Count me in too," Nerissa agreed. "Though fair warning, I scream. A lot."
"That's half the entertainment," Bae grinned.
"I might set up a short guerilla stream," Gura said, stretching. "Just some chill Minecraft building or something."
"I'll probably just sleep," Kronii announced. "Today has been exhausting, and I've done absolutely nothing."
"That's the Kronii we know," Fauna teased gently.
Amelia finally finished whatever she was working on, holding up a small device triumphantly. "Ha! There we go. Perfect temporal stability."
"What does it do?" Raora asked.
"Absolutely nothing unless I break the timeline," Ame explained cheerfully. "But IF I break the timeline, this will help fix it!"
"The fact that you need a device specifically for that purpose is concerning," Elizabeth observed.
"Welcome to the EN branch, where we're always prepared for increasingly specific disasters," Calli said dryly.
Kiara stood up, stretching her wings slightly. "Well, I think I'm going to head up to my room and do some planning for next week's streams. We've got that big collab coming up."
"The one with all the branches?" IRyS asked.
"Yep. EN, ID, and JP all together. It's going to be chaos."
"My favorite kind of event!" Bae declared.
As members started to slowly drift toward the elevators and stairs, preparing to split off to their various activities, the mood in the lobby was relaxed and content. The EN headquarters, despite its many, MANY incidents, was home. It was a place where friendships were forged, content was created, and absolutely ridiculous things happened on a regular basis.
Gura had picked up her Switch again, Bijou watching over her shoulder and offering unsolicited advice. Fauna was carefully cleaning up her gardening supplies, making sure every tool was in its proper place. Calli had pulled out a notebook and was scribbling down lyrics, her head bobbing to some internal rhythm.
The afternoon sun continued its slow journey across the sky, the shadows in the lobby lengthening. It was peaceful. Calm.
It wouldn't last.