"Now then, let's move on to the next segment."
With a collective response from the gods, Loki confirmed the end of the current topic and curled her lips into a grin. "The naming ceremony begins!"
A wave of tension rippled through the hall. Using Loki's words as a fuse, several gods who had remained silent suddenly underwent a dramatic change in expression.
The primary gods of long-established or powerful Familias often relied on their seniority at the assembly to welcome newcomers with "prank" titles. Any god who had participated in the assembly before held the right to attend again. Even if their own Familia members hadn't leveled up, making the meeting technically meaningless for them, many gods with far too much time on their hands took endless delight in "naming other people's children."
Watching their divine friends' faces twist in agony was their ultimate form of entertainment. To avoid receiving a humiliating title, there were only two ways: either maintain good relationships with other gods or expand the Familia's power.
Hephaestus, clearly accustomed to this scene, waved her hand dismissively, while Astraea watched the smirking gods with a sense of helplessness. Some of the "old faces" at the Denatus saw a golden opportunity for fun and began to leer wickedly.
"Heh heh heh... which child should we start with?"
The tragedy began at that moment.
"Everyone should have the data by now, right? Then let's start. First... let's begin with the adventurer from Set's Familia named Hassas."
"Please! Have mercy on me!!" Set cried out.
"KOTOWARU (I refuse)!" several gods shouted in unison.
Based on how much the gods loved the culture of the lower world, it was clear that their tastes and the mortals' tastes were quite similar. Despite being transcendent beings, they didn't possess a sensibility that transcended human wisdom; in terms of emotional response, they were no different from children.
However, the taste in naming was the one exception. No one knew if the gods were the problem or if the children were just too simple—whether the gods were too avant-garde or the children weren't modern enough. Regardless, there were certainly "painful names" that gods found hilarious while the children would look at them with sparkling eyes, thinking they were cool.
"Ooh, look at that determined face. It's decided! This Hassas kid's title is: [Invincible T-Rex Warrior]!"
"Nooo—my child! I have failed you!" Set wailed, hoping the surrounding deities would change their minds, but the cruel laughter only grew louder.
The Denatus was essentially a factory for producing these "painful names." To get a joke that would make them choke on laughter, a few particularly malicious gods continuously pushed for countless aliases that would make the children lose all self-respect.
"Next!"
The gods looked at the data provided by the Guild. In addition to names, the files contained detailed information on each person and a realistic portrait sketched during their adventurer registration.
"Oh, an adventurer from Ganesha's side. Let's see... a little sister named Arannie."
"A Boaz (Cow-person) girl? Wow, those proportions are insane! She's practically a dairy cow! Ganesha, you're hogging such a treasure. It's decided! Little Arannie's title is: [Oversized Fruit]!"
"Uwaaaa—I, GANESHA, will never acknowledge such a title!!!" Ganesha roared.
Ganesha began to argue his case passionately. Thanks to his efforts, Arannie's title was eventually decided as [Heavy Warrior]. Although Ganesha wasn't feared due to his overly generous personality, his Familia's power was immense, so the other gods didn't dare push their luck too far.
Because of this, Astraea felt confident she could at least save her children from a tragic fate. Her Familia was strong enough; if things got ugly, she could just grab a sword and block their doors.
"Now... finally, the last one. The super rookie you've all been waiting for."
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My : https://[email protected]/AuAuMon
Danmachi : Mage's Infinite Journey (168 Chapters – Ongoing)
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Thump, thump, thump.
Even though Loki hated Roland for "kidnapping" her Ais, her cheeks flushed with excitement and anticipation. She even started drumming on the table. Looking at the other gods, it was clear they knew exactly who she was talking about. Like a lit fire, everyone became hyper-excited, calling out to Loki in sync. The atmosphere reached an unprecedented peak.
"Let me introduce Roland of the Astraea Familia. As a Level 1, he single-handedly killed a dragon-type enhanced species born from divine pressure, preventing other adventurers from facing danger."
"And, he had the guts to strike at an Evil God who was using divine power to mutate the Dungeon. The super rookie who doesn't give a damn about Taboos—Roland!!"
Loki's introduction was impassioned. As the "Master of Ceremonies," she knew how to work a crowd.
In reality, Roland had received his Falna less than a month ago. To avoid being too conspicuous, he had decided to claim he received it three months ago. Even so, going from Level 1 to Level 2 in three months was a terrifying statistic.
Astraea hadn't wanted to lie more than necessary. However, gods can see through lies told by mortals, so this deception was only marginally effective against those curious enough to investigate.
The reaction of the gods confirmed this. They all wore expressions of disbelief, and some began looking at Astraea with suspicion.
"Hehe, every child in your house is so eye-catching. If he weren't already yours, I'd want to steal him," Freya whispered to her companions.
Astraea replied softly, "Ahaha, please don't let your children hear that, or it'll cause a lot of trouble for mine."
"Now, the introduction is over. Let the naming begin!"
Loki, back to her mischievous self, wore a wicked expression. "I'll start! I've been thinking about this for days, so you better vote for it! I call him the one who profanes the gods—[The Blasphemer]!"
"Ooh! As expected of Loki!" an orange-haired male god cheered.
"No, no. It captures his courage, but it doesn't reflect his rank-defying record," another god said, shaking his head. "How about [The God-Slaying Dragon-Slayer]?"
"Wow, that's a title that would make even a god cringe," Hermes remarked.
"I'll step in then! Since he's part of the Justice Familia and a half-elf—[Justice Elf]!"
"Too plain! Think about it—Roland is the only male in the Astraea Familia, and everyone else is a beauty. Doesn't that setup look familiar?" one god said, stroking his chin.
"You mean that?"
"Exactly. That's the only fitting one."
Several male gods said in unison: "That's right! That lucky kid should be titled: [Harem Protagonist]!!"
"Ooh! That title is perfect! It suits him so well," Hermes cheered, clapping his hands.
Astraea immediately cast a freezing gaze toward them. The cheering gods instantly recoiled, looking away guiltily. One "painful" title after another was being thrown out.
...How humiliating.
Confronted with this living hell, Astraea's head began to throb. The thought of Roland walking around as "Harem Protagonist" made her blood boil. Her blood pressure was spiking. She wanted to cover her ears, but showing weakness would only embolden these fun-seeking gods.
"Do you all... want to be sent back to the Heavens as well?"
She gently twirled a lock of her brown hair, lifting her face with an aura so chilling it felt like a ghost was rising. She made a mental note of every god's face.
Faced with Astraea's naked threat, the gods did the only logical thing: "SORRY!!" "WE WERE WRONG!!" "We'll probably do it again next time though."