The atmosphere in the room was heavy.
Gu Luo could feel his cheeks turning red, and he began to sweat as the heat spread across his face.
"In reality, you don't really care about knowing that the government is lying to everyone, do you?"
"Not entirely..."
"You'd rather say that it bothers you because that way you appear to be someone who has morals. People can say that you're a good person. Isn't that right?"
Even though the doctor's argument was irrefutable, Gu Luo didn't agree with him.
"So I shouldn't be bothered by these lies?"
The doctor calmly continued. "No, but a normal person would never ask themselves this kind of question. Even if they were convinced they had uncovered a conspiracy, if no one supported their theory, they would have long since started following everyone else's opinions and quickly forgotten what they once believed."
"..."
Gu Luo had nothing to say to that. He simply thought that the doctor was probably right.
"To be honest, a normal person wouldn't even think about doing something normal. A normal person would try to avoid doing anything abnormal because it would disrupt their normal daily life. You, Gu Luo, are trying to do something normal in order to disrupt your abnormal daily life."
"..."
It was the first time someone had spoken to Gu Luo in such a way, and he found himself deeply disturbed by it.
"You see, if you had normal values, what would concern you wouldn't be the government's lie, but rather the effects of that lie on the population."
"I-I..."
"When you realized that several million people had disappeared and were probably dead because of some mysterious event, you accepted it as it was, didn't you? It didn't affect you in the slightest. And you know very well that the simple fact that you felt nothing makes you incompatible with modern society."
"..."
There was nothing Gu Luo could answer, nothing came to his mind. It was as if someone had violently opened his eyes.
Seeing that Gu Luo was disturbed by the conversation, the doctor adopted a calmer tone.
"Usually, the few times I've had to have this kind of appointment with a student from this school, I also call the parents to explain the situation to them."
The doctor straightened up in his chair.
"However, only your home's landline number was in the school's records, and when I tried calling this morning, no one answered."
Gu Luo wasn't surprised that the doctor hadn't gotten an answer. He had somewhat expected what the doctor was going to ask him next. He had answered and prepared his response to this question dozens of times.
"What do your parents do for work?"
Gu Luo shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"My father works as a cook in a restaurant chain."
"Oh! Then I suppose he's the one who cooks at home."
Gu Luo shifted again in his chair.
"Not really. When he gets home from work, it's always two or three in the morning, so I'm already asleep, and on weekends he spends his days catching up on sleep, so I'm the one who cooks..."
"I see..." The doctor ran his fingers through his mustache. "And your mother, does she also work all day? Is that why you often cook for your parents?"
"My mother died when I was five."
At that exact moment, the bell signaling the end of the second period rang, and the sound of students' footsteps and running in the hallways could be heard faintly. The buzzing of the fluorescent light above Gu Luo and the doctor filled the room. The creaking of chairs and desks could be heard above their heads.
A fly that had, until now, seemed to be obsessively circling the fluorescent light had noticed the rays of sunlight beginning to pierce through the blinds. On a sudden impulse, the fly changed targets and began buzzing loudly around the blinds.
The doctor's balding head was surprisingly matte. Gu Luo had always imagined that bald men's heads were shiny, dazzling anyone who dared stare at them from a little too close. Had manga lied to him?
Only one or two seconds had probably passed since his answer to the doctor, but Gu Luo felt as though this silence had lasted for several dozen minutes.
He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His hands were sweaty and were now slipping against his uniform pants.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know, Gu Luo."
The doctor's response felt like a release to Gu Luo, freeing him from his long ordeal.
"It's nothing. You couldn't have known."
It was true. It was impossible to anticipate this kind of thing when two human beings who don't know each other interact. These were the kinds of things one could do nothing about except accept them with humility and understanding.
Gu Luo surprised himself by thinking about something so philosophical. He even thought, in that moment, that he might add "writer" to his career orientation form at the end of the year.
"I'm really sorry. I hope you're not too disturbed by my clumsiness," the doctor said.
"No, no, I'm fine, sir. Don't worry. I'm used to it."
"You worry me more by saying that than anything else."
The doctor muttered something under his breath, but it didn't reach Gu Luo's ears.
"It seems like you don't want to worry anyone, but you know, you're not bothering anyone here, Gu Luo."
"..."
Gu Luo didn't answer. Or rather, he didn't feel like answering.
The doctor cleared his throat before continuing.
"So, your father raised you all by himself? You don't have any brothers or sisters?"
"...No! I'm an only child...."
Gu Luo rubbed his hands against his pants, trying to dry them.
"I mean, I live alone with my father."
"I see...."
Gu Luo had never had to reveal so much information about himself, and it made him extremely uncomfortable. Usually, he managed to get by with a few lies. Since his father was never there to contradict him in his schemes, it was all the easier.
However, having to talk about himself at such length deeply disturbed Gu Luo, to the point where he now felt feverish.
Having to talk like this with the doctor only revealed Gu Luo's own lies to him. He could no longer hide from himself behind illusions.
In the end, he was the problem.
Now he could no longer ignore it.
That was clearly what remained with Gu Luo from his conversation with the doctor.
He couldn't believe that a person could be this honest.
He couldn't imagine that someone like that could exist.
He couldn't want to be the image of himself that the doctor reflected back at him.
"Excuse us, we got lost in the hallways! I have to say, every time I let Jùnjié guide me, we end up getting lost, hahahahaha!"
A cheerful woman's voice suddenly interrupted Gu Luo's thoughts.