Amara kept her distance.At least, she tried her best too even approach when she keeps doubting herself.
For three days after their conversation, she avoided places she knew Nathaniel might appear. She changed her lunch hours, stayed longer in the library, and took longer routes back to her hostel though It felt childish, but it was the only way she knew how to protect herself.
Knowing he was engaged changed everything they had shared together or at least, it should have.
She told herself that whatever she felt would fade even if she starved it of attention. Feelings were fragile things that after all ignoring them would be long enough and they would disappear except hers didn't.
They lingered in quiet moments, in the empty space beside her during lectures and in the sound of his name when she heard others mention it. Each thought of him carried a dull ache not sharp enough to cry over but persistent enough to hurt.
On the fourth day, her phone buzzed while she was studying.
"Nathaniel"
She screamed as she stared at the screen for a long time before opening the message.
I know you asked for time, I just wanted to say I respect that and nothing like expectations, she exhaled slowly and calm.
Thank you, she replied after a moment.
She thought that would be the end of it.
It wasn't, Later that evening as she stepped out of the faculty building, she nearly collided with him.
"I'm sorry" she said automatically, then went cold.
He looked just as surprised as she felt.
"Amara," he said quietly.
The silence between them felt heavier than before.
"I didn't plan this," he added. "I was heading out"
She nodded. "Me too".
Neither of them moved.
Are you alright? he asked.
She wanted to say yes, She wanted to be strong, unaffected Instead, honesty slipped out.
"I don't know"His eyes softened. "I hate that I caused that".
"You didn't plan to," she said. "But it still happened".
They walked slowly toward the gate, keeping a careful distance, as though one wrong step might shatter the fragile peace between them.
"My engagement isn't what people think," Nathaniel said suddenly. "It was arranged. Political way".
She stopped walking. "That doesn't change the fact that it exists."
"I know," he replied. "I just don't want you thinking I'm careless with people's hearts."
She studied him, searching for excuses, for manipulation. She found none. Only conflict.
"I need to protect myself," she said softly.
"I would never ask you not to," he replied.
They reached the gate.
"This is where I stop," she said.
He nodded. "I'll walk no further".
For a moment, they simply stood there.
Then, without thinking, Amara spoke. If things were different would you choose me?
The question shocked even her.
Nathaniel's answer came without hesitation. "Yes"
The simplicity of it undid her.
She stepped back, tears threatening. "Then please don't make this harder than it already is."
"I won't," he promised, though his voice carried doubt.
She turned and walked away before either of them could say more.
That night, Amara cried quietly into her pillow, mourning something she had never truly had.
Across the city, Nathaniel sat with his phone in his hand, staring at her last message, knowing he was losing her.
And for the first time in his life, the crown he carried felt heavy that he can't bear, it was the crown of sadness, broken heart but still, he was strong, a man is always a man and a woman challenging a man isn't proper nor good.