Chapter 85: The Curtain Falls at the End
April 3, 2019, 22:37.
"Utaha, as long as you wake up, we can go out to view the cherry blossoms again…"
Sitting by the bed, Haizaki held the girl's hand and softly spoke, one thing after another.
He was afraid that the moment he stopped, the girl's last trace of vitality would disappear.
"I've prepared a kimono for you, egg rolls, takoyaki, sushi—everything is ready, just waiting for tomorrow come."
"I still want to eat your cooking, eat the sushi and takoyaki you make with your own hands, and I still want to soak in hot springs with you and enjoy traveling together. So, Utaha, for my sake, hold on until tomorrow, okay!"
There was just a little over an hour left until the fourth.
Haizaki dared not sleep.
He only wanted to stay by Utaha's side, waiting for the final moment to arrive.
"So…"
Haizaki continued using his only way to beg Utaha to hold on a little longer.
"Really…?"
The girl's faint voice sounded.
Haizaki was stunned. Utaha had been unconscious for over twenty hours. He had thought it would last until midnight, but he had not expected her to wake up now.
"Utaha… you're awake…"
"You… talked about food… made me hungry… so I woke up… it's all… your fault…" she forced out the words, blaming Haizaki.
"I'll go make it right away. You can eat whatever you want…"
Flustered, Haizaki immediately stood up.
"Don't… don't go."
With the little strength she had left, she gripped Haizaki's right hand.
"Hold me… okay? I want… even if I have to leave… to be in your arms…"
"Utaha, you'll be fine. You'll get better very soon…"
He carefully wrapped his arms around the girl, hoping to give her what little sense of security he could.
"Really? Don't lie to me!"
"I won't. You'll definitely get better. When have I ever lied to you, Utaha?"
There was still over an hour left. Utaha, you have to hold on.
At this moment, Haizaki hated how slowly time was passing.
Hurry up—just a little faster, wouldn't that be fine?
"My book… there's only the very last plot left. Help me finish it… say that the heroine ultimately leaves because of illness."
The new work should have had decades of story left, but she no longer had the chance to write it. At the very least, before leaving, let it be completed.
"There's only the male lead left… living alone. He keeps going, stubbornly surviving, until the world finally returns to normal again."
Utaha did not want Haizaki to give up on living because of her departure.
She hoped he could continue living on. Only then could she feel at ease.
"I…"
"Promise me… okay?"
"Okay."
Haizaki could no longer suppress the tidal wave of bitterness flooding his heart. Tears welled uncontrollably in his eyes.
He held back, steadied his voice, and nodded firmly.
"I'll finish it for you. Kasumi Utako-sensei."
"The title should be… His and Her Lonely Apocalypse."
"I'll remember it."
"In the drawer, there's an album I… made… If you miss me… just look at it…"
An album prepared for her own memories, yet in the end it could only be left to Haizaki.
Utaha felt deeply pained, but what else could she do?
What she could leave Haizaki now were only memories.
"I just need to look at you. Photos can't compare to how you look."
"If possible… I also want… to be looked at by you… every day, every day, until… forever."
Utaha's words were weak. Every single word seemed to take all the strength in her body.
She tried her best to look at Haizaki's face.
At the final moment of her life, she wanted to engrave the appearance of the man she loved deeply into her memory.
Was Haizaki crying?
Was it because of her departure, because of sorrow and reluctance?
Her unfocused wine-red eyes caught sight of two faint tear streaks on Haizaki's face.
"I feel a little unwilling… there's only one wish left, but it seems it won't be fulfilled… I probably won't make it to tomorrow…"
The promised confession—
it seemed there would be no chance for it.
Why couldn't she hold on just a little longer?
"Hold on, Utaha. There's only a little over an hour left. Please, hold on. It'll soon be April fourth. Everything is about to end…"
Utaha clearly no longer had the mental capacity to notice the problem in Haizaki's words.
"They disappeared, but they stayed forever in your heart… and now… I'm finally about to… live in your heart forever as well."
Utaha stretched out her hand, wanting to touch Haizaki's face.
But a distance of less than fifty centimeters felt like the edge of the sky to her—something she could not reach by her own strength.
"I don't want you to live in my heart. I want you to live right in front of my eyes."
Realizing Utaha's intent, Haizaki hurriedly grasped her right hand and pressed it against his cheek.
Her palm was cold, devoid of warmth.
"So warm…"
Haizaki's face was so warm, warming her heart and calming her soul.
"The year I spent with you, Haizaki-kun, was the happiest time of my life. I finally understood what happiness was. I was about to have a boyfriend, someone to spend my whole life with. Those happy days were right in front of me."
Perhaps because of Haizaki's embrace and the warmth he transmitted, Utaha's words suddenly became much smoother, like a final surge of life.
"But if it were possible… who would want to leave? I really don't want to leave! I want to stay by Haizaki-kun's side forever."
Crystalline tears finally slid down the girl's gaunt face. She could no longer suppress the reluctance in her heart.
She had wanted to leave with a smile, to leave her most beautiful side to Haizaki,
to not let him suffer sorrow and pain because of her departure.
But, but—the overflowing reluctance and unwillingness in her heart burst forth like a breached dam, no longer stoppable.
"I'm sorry. Just like them… I'm going to leave you alone… all by yourself."
She loathed those two girls for leaving Haizaki alone, living lonely in this world, yet not taking away his memories of them.
And now, she was about to do the same thing.
In the end, she had become the kind of person she hated most.
If possible, Haizaki-kun… forget me. That way… you won't suffer.
But I still hope… you can remember me forever.
Utaha was filled with guilt.
"Hold on, Utaha. I'm begging you. Please, really hold on…"
Haizaki choked, his words no longer clear. The girl's gentle apology shattered his composure and reason into pieces. The mask he had worn all this time could no longer be maintained.
"I'm really sorry… I can't keep accompanying you… walking forward together…"
Ten years, twenty years, fifty years of life—ending before it had even begun.
This was all her fault.
If she had done better, things wouldn't have turned out this way.
They had clearly promised to live well together, but she broke that promise,
leaving Haizaki alone in this lonely, empty world.
Sorry.
Truly… sorry.
…