Elara's pov
"Why do you let them talk to you like that?"
I turned back, confused. "What?"
His jaw was tight, and I could see anger flickering in his green eyes. "In there. The council meeting. Lord Malakor. All of them. They talked to you like you were a child. Like your opinion didn't matter. Like you weren't even the queen."
"They're my advisors," I said weakly. "They're supposed to advise me. That's their job."
"Advise?" He let out a sharp laugh that held no humor. "That wasn't advising. That was them dismissing everything you said. Talking over you every time you opened your mouth. Telling you what your dead parents would want as if they knew them better than you did. Pushing you into marriage when you've been queen for three days. Three days, Elara."
Heat rushed to my face. Shame and anger mixed together in my chest. "You don't understand. I'm new at this. I don't know how any of this works—"
"You know more than you think," he interrupted, taking a step closer. "That thing about the eastern provinces? You were right. They are struggling. I've been there. I've seen it with my own eyes. The people are hungry. Their crops failed last season. Children are going to bed with empty stomachs."
I stared at him, my heart pounding. "How do you know about the eastern provinces?"
"I travel. I see things." His eyes flashed with something fierce. "And I saw your face in there. You wanted to help them. You knew it was the right thing to do. But Malakor shut you down because he doesn't want to spend the money. Because it's easier to keep the gold sitting in the treasury than to actually help people who need it."
"Because he knows better than I do!" My voice rose, and I heard the desperation in it. "He's been doing this for years. Decades! I've been queen for three days! Three days, Kaelen! I barely know how to wear this crown without it falling off my head!"
"So? You're still the queen." He moved even closer, and I could see the frustration burning in his eyes. "You outrank every single one of them. Every lord in that room. Every advisor. Every person in this entire kingdom. So why do you let them treat you like you don't?"
Tears pricked my eyes. Not because he was wrong. Because he was right. And that made it so much worse. Because I didn't know how to be what he was describing. I didn't know how to be strong and commanding and sure of myself.
"You don't understand anything," I said, my voice shaking. "You're just a guard. You stand around with a sword and you think that makes you an expert on ruling a kingdom? You don't know what it's like to have an entire kingdom depending on you. You don't know what it's like to suddenly be responsible for thousands of lives when you're only eighteen years old. You don't know what it's like to make one wrong decision and have people die because of it—"
"You're right," he cut me off, his voice hard. "I don't know what that's like. But I do know what it looks like when someone is being taken advantage of. When someone is being manipulated and controlled. And that's what I saw in there. That's what I'm seeing right now."
"Well, thank you so much for your opinion," I snapped, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I didn't ask for it. You're my guard. Not my advisor. Not my counselor. Not my friend. So how about you just do your job and stay out of things that don't concern you? Stand at the door. Look intimidating. Keep your mouth shut. That's what I'm paying you for."
The words came out harsher than I meant them. But I was tired. Scared. Sick. And I didn't need him pointing out everything I was doing wrong. I didn't need him making me feel even more like a failure than I already did.
His face went completely blank. Cold. Like a door slamming shut. He stepped back and bowed his head stiffly, formally. "Of course, Your Majesty. Forgive me for overstepping my position."
The formal tone hurt more than any insult would have. It felt like ice in my chest.
"I'll send for your maid immediately," he said flatly, all emotion gone from his voice. "And I'll be right outside your door if you need anything. Your Majesty."
He emphasized the title. Making it clear that's all I was to him now. Just a title. Just a job.
He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him with a soft, controlled click.
And I was alone.
I sat there in the chair, my hands shaking, tears running down my face.
He was just trying to help. He was worried about me. And I'd thrown it back in his face like he was nothing. Like he meant nothing.
But what else could I do? I couldn't let him get close. Couldn't let him care about me. Couldn't let him see how scared and lost I really was.
Because if he saw that... if anyone saw that... they would know I had no idea what I was doing. They would know I was just a girl pretending to be a queen. Playing dress-up in my parent's crown.
And then what? Then Lord Malakor would take over completely. Would make every decision for me. Would turn me into a puppet who just sat on the throne and nodded while he ran the kingdom.
Or worse. He might decide I wasn't fit to rule at all. Might find a way to take the crown from me completely.
No. I had to keep everyone at a distance. Had to keep my walls up. Had to keep pretending I was strong and in control.
Even if it meant pushing away the one person who seemed to actually care.
A few minutes later, the side door opened. Lena rushed in, her face full of worry.
"Elara! Your guard said you were sick. What happened? Are you alright?"
I looked at my best friend. The only person in this entire palace I truly trusted. "I got sick in the council meeting. Had to leave early. I think I'm just... overwhelmed. Everything is too much."
Lena came over and knelt beside my chair, taking my hands in hers. "Of course you are. You've been through so much in just a few days. Losing your parents. The coronation. All those terrible men in the council expecting you to know everything. Come on, let's get you into bed."
She helped me up and led me to the bed. Helped me out of the heavy gown and into a soft nightdress. Her hands were gentle and familiar. Comforting.
"Was Lord Malakor awful to you again?" she asked as she worked, her voice tight with anger.
"He wants me to get married," I said tiredly. "Says I need a husband. That the kingdom needs stability. That I'm too young to rule alone."
Lena's face darkened. "That old snake. You just became queen! Can't he give you time to breathe? Time to grieve?"
"Apparently not," I said bitterly. "Apparently I need to get married immediately."
"Don't listen to him, Elara," Lena said fiercely. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. He just wants to control you. To use you."
"I know," I whispered. But did I? Right now, I felt like I had no control over anything. Like I was being swept along by forces I couldn't stop.
"Rest now," Lena said, tucking the blankets around me like I was a small child. "I'll bring you some tea in a bit. Something to settle keep you calm and help you sleep."
She left through the side door, closing it quietly behind her.
And I laid there in the big bed, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts racing in circles.
I'd been so mean to Kaelen. He was just trying to help. Just trying to look out for me. And I'd told him to mind his own business. Told him he was just a guard. Nothing more.
I pressed my hand to my stomach. It felt the same as always. Flat. Normal. Nothing different.
I was probably just stressed. That's all. The coronation. The council meetings. My parents' death. Everything was just too much. My body was reacting to the pressure.
It couldn't be anything else.
Could it?