March 30, 2025
I was sitting on the edge of an empty field, legs dangling, phone warm in my hands. The sky was already darkening, the wind brushing past like it had somewhere more important to be.
"Maya!"
Rachel burst into view like an overworked NPC with bad timing. "It's already dark! What are you doing running out here all alone? Do you have a death wish or just zero survival instincts?"
I slowly turned the camera toward her and gave my most tragic, cinematic smile—the kind actors practice in mirrors when they want awards.
"Rachel," I said solemnly, patting the grass beside me, "I've chosen my spot. When I die, bury me right here. The feng shui feels correct."
She froze. Completely. "What kind of nonsense is that? You're not going to die!" She rushed forward to yank me up—and then her hands stopped midair.
A large red stain bloomed across my chest like an abstract art piece titled Surprise, You're Dying.
Sensing the full-force panic rolling off her, I waved my hand weakly and smiled. "It's nothing. Really. I'm used to it. At this point, it's just my body's way of saying hello."
Her face crumpled.
Rachel squatted in front of me, forcing her voice to be calm, gentle, like she wasn't two seconds away from either crying or kidnapping me. "Let's go back and change your clothes first. Then we'll go to the hospital and get you checked, okay?"
"The hospital?" I blinked at her, genuinely confused. "Why would I go to the hospital?"
She stared at me like I'd just asked why humans need oxygen.
It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up. The chemo side effects had been getting worse. Forgetting things was becoming my new talent.
"Oh," I said finally, rubbing my temple. "Right. That place."
I laughed awkwardly. "It's fine. I just felt a little stuffy and wanted some fresh air. Don't worry so much."
Rachel sat down beside me, close enough that I could feel her warmth. "If you wanted to take a walk, why didn't you ask me to come with you?" she asked softly. "Are you uncomfortable anywhere right now?"
I shook my head, smiling. "Lately, coughing up blood doesn't even hurt anymore. Sometimes I feel totally normal. Like maybe I'm about to—"
"Shut up," she snapped instantly.
Then she stood. "That's it. I'm taking you to the hospital."
The recording ended there.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
When the video started again, I was alone.
The room was dim. Too quiet. The camera angle was shaky, clearly propped up in a hurry.
I looked… awful.
So thin it was almost impressive in a medically concerning way. If skeletons had a beauty standard, I was nailing it.
"Hello," I whispered. "I'm recording this secretly."
I glanced toward the door, then back at the lens.
"There are things I want to tell her, but I can't say them right now. She's already cried too many times because of me. At this point, I think she's single-handedly raising the tissue industry."
I paused, trying to smile.
"Rachel… I know you've been blaming yourself. For not noticing my illness sooner. For not dragging me to the hospital earlier. For letting me hide it from Evan."
"And for helping me hide it so well that I ran out of money for chemo later." I let out a weak laugh. "That one was… impressive teamwork, honestly."
My voice softened.
"But I want to say thank you."
"Thank you for respecting my wishes. Even when they were stupid. Especially when they were stupid."
I took a deep breath, chest trembling.
"In my heart… you're just as important to me as Evan. You both are. You're my family. My home."
"If I leave first," I whispered, "you have to be happy. That's the only way I can leave without worrying myself back to life."
"You must be happy, my friend…"
I sniffled hard, trying to stop the tears. They ignored me completely.
I wiped my face, but the tears just kept coming, like they had opinions of their own.
"Humans are so strange," I murmured. "We come into this world alone… and we leave it alone."
"…Do you think people really move on in peace?" I asked the camera quietly. "If that's true, can we choose our own script?"
My voice cracked.
"Because these past years… they've been really hard. In the next life, can I please not be so tired?"
I stared off to the side for a moment. Then, suddenly, I laughed—soft, breathless, almost embarrassed.
"But… if I hadn't been abandoned as a child, I wouldn't have met the people at the orphanage. I wouldn't have met my love. Or my friends."
"When I think about it like that…" I smiled faintly. "Life wasn't so bad after all."
Then my expression fell.
"It's just… what will Rachel do after I die?"
The thought shattered me completely.
I covered my mouth, sobbing silently, terrified of waking her in the next room. My shoulders shook as I tried to swallow the sound of my grief.
After a long while, I wiped my face again, breathing shakily.
"Alright… alright. Let's stop here," I whispered. "If I keep crying, my eyes will be swollen tomorrow and Rachel will freak out again."
I forced a small smile and waved at the camera.
"Be happy, Rachel," I said softly. "I swear I'll come back to haunt you if you ever ended up becoming a nun okay?"
The screen went dark.