Bell awoke to the gentle pitter patter of rain against wood, a warm blanket covering his form, soft mattress beneath him, and the smell of fresh food drifting in the air.
He groggily sat up in the bed, blanket slipping from his torso by the motion, his clothes were dry, no longer the same as the drenched clothes he wore before.
When Bell focused on the clothes, he was a little embarrassed to see that the cloth on his body was likely a female gown.
Bell's gaze was drawn from his current clothes to noises coming from the small kitchenette close to him, where Goddess Astraea was wearing a apron over her white robe.
Her gaze was focused as she chopped fresh vegetables with the precision of an experienced cook, adding some unknown spices simultaneously in the broth boiling over a compact flame made by burning coals.
She was so focus on her work that she remained oblivious to Bell's awakening.
Bell kept his mouth shut as he put his back against the bedrest, and watched her work with focus.
People say serious men are attractive; Bell wanted to elaborate.
Serious men are attractive; Serious women even more, especially if the aforementioned women was a Goddess.
Bell watched her work with a silent gaze, his gaze glued to her working form.
There was nothing sexual about it, merely a universal appreciation of beauty so outstanding that it invoked awe in the beholder.
He watched as Goddess Astraea wiped her hands on her apron after finishing her work, and then turned to look at Bell's direction.
Astraea felt a flush of internal embarrassment after seeing that Bell had woken up and was looking at her, probably for some time by his relaxed posture.
"Child, I took the liberty of changing your wet clothes and had you wear one of my female gowns, otherwise you'd have probably fallen sick from the cold." Astraea spoke casually while internally feeling a hint of mortification, regretting the decision of changing his clothes into her gown.
"I'm really grateful for your help, Goddess Astraea." Bell spoke with second hand embarrassed at her words, but thanked her regardless for her help.
Awkward silence fell between them, Bell not knowing how to continue the conversation, while Goddess Astraea was too embarrassed inwardly to start a new conversation.
As the awkward silence stretched between them, the sound of a boil from the broth over at the kitchenette quickly pulled Goddess Astraea out of her inner embarrassment.
"Wait for a moment Bell, Food is nearly ready." Astraea spoke after focusing back onto her broth and ladled the broth for some time with some final touches and bought two bowls of vegetable broth with bread on two wooden plates.
Bell tried to get out of the bed, but severe weakness hit him the moment he tried to move his legs, he had to lay back down on the bed due to the weakness in his lower body.
"Child, there is no need to move too much, rest there as you are, I'll help you with the food." Goddess Astraea spoke in a gentle tone filled with care as she put the plates on the wooden nightstand besides the bed and pulled a chair besides the bed.
She gently sat on the chair while pulling a plate on her lap, dipped some bread in the vegetable broth and bought it close to Bell's mouth while speaking.
"Open up child, you're in no state to move too much and I'd be a unworthy host if I let my nearly sick guest struggle to eat food, right?" Astraea held up the piece of bread close to Bell's mouth and insisted he let her feed him as a good host.
Bell looked at the piece of bread close to his mouth, then towards Goddess Astraea who was looking at him with a gentle smile and opened his mouth without protests to let her feed him.
But the more Goddess Astraea acted kind to him, the more the guilt inside him grew.
Just by being here, he was already taking advantage of the kindness and guilt of Goddess Astraea, and each gesture of kindness was making him feel even more uncomfortable with himself.
His mind spoke pragmatic words, 'Keep taking advantage, and somehow make her agree to let you join her Familia, since the threats in the future were too many, and if he wasted the journey here, he'd fall even further back than the original Bell, since there was no [Liaris Freese] to make his growth accelerate.'
His heart spoke emotional words, 'Continuing to take advantage of her would not be the right thing to do, being weak did not give him the right to take advantage of someone offering kindness to him, even if the future threats were too many, and he had enough justification to convince himself to take advantage of her kindness...It was still wrong.'
So Bell ate Goddess Astraea's handmade and hand fed food while feeling torn and lost inside, not knowing whether to follow his heart or mind.
"Bell, I'll be back in a moment after washing the dishes, you can relax till then." Astraea spoke after making sure Bell was full and she herself had eaten dinner and held onto the used wooden utensils as she started walked towards the small kitchenette to wash the utensils.
Bell watched as Goddess Astraea washed the dishes while humming a unknown melody, all the while feeling lost and uncertain inside.
Just as he was starting to feel a deep sense of helplessness at the war between his heart and mind, that voice from before, the same one during the goblin incident, resounded gently in his mind, like a guiding light from deep within his soul.
'******, Feeling lost is something every soul experiences at some point in life.
There are moments when direction fades, motivation disappears, and nothing seems to make sense.
Most of us feel lost because we become overwhelmed by expectations of success, validation, outcomes, or appreciation.
But then what should you do when you are lost?
Your mind pointing in one direction, your heart in another?
Then, amidst that confusion, what do you do?
******, Do what is right, not what is easy.
Take the next step without worrying about the entire journey
Purpose becomes clearer when you stop overthinking the destination and start engaging deeply with the present moment.'
The words resounded in Bell's mind with quit acceptance, showing him the way forward, they did not make the fight between his mind and heart stop, they did not change anything fundamentally in him, they did not make his choices any easier.
But they gave him,
Enough strength to accept
The consequences of his choice.