Serena bathed, and the water felt soothing, washing away some of the waves of grief rolling through her.
She knew breaking any matebond would have consequences, let alone a fated one. And she was feeling physical pain in her core.
It started towards the end of the meeting in Shadowclaw's tent and was getting worse.
She put on a silk chemise that was packed for her and sighed. Yet another reminder.
She laid on the bed, hair still wet, formal combat suit laid out and prepared for tomorrow. She had no appetite but ate a few things to avoid anyone fussing over her.
She did her best to push all thoughts of him out of her mind, but laying here on a bed that was meant to be his didn't help.
Hot tears fell from her eyes. She'd shed enough already and was frustrated at herself. But they didn't stop.
A wave of heat washed over her. She shivered a second later with chills. Wolves don't get fevers, but she knew she had one.
Her wolf hadn't spoken to her since her dream.
"I'm sorry, Aurelia," Serena whispered aloud.
Aegon was Aurelia's true mate. That's what Dex had told her. The thought made her feel even more sick. She hadn't just severed a matebond. She'd severed something that ran deeper than this life.
She got off the bed and ran into the attached bathing chamber, puking.
Then extreme pain lanced through her insides and another heatwave crashed over her.
Her body started to hurt everywhere.
She washed her mouth and splashed cold water on her face.
"Maybe I need some fresh air," she murmured.
She'd been going from tent to tent, and the moments she had outside were either with Dexmon, which was not relaxing, or walking the grounds being watched by an entire war camp of twenty packs, which was also not relaxing.
Maybe a moment to herself outside would help.
She pulled on her full suit meant for the following day and grabbed a black cloak. The one she wore earlier to move to Shadowclaw's tent without being seen.
She knew she was supposed to wear her crown everywhere. An identifier that she was not to be trifled with. She understood it now, how powerful a crown was. People saw, people knew.
She sighed, putting it on. At least if she was seen, people assume she was guarded.
The crown was beautiful. Maybe in another life, she could have kept it.
It made her sad thinking she'd have to give it to someone else.
The crown flashed white hot at that thought.
"That's unexpected," Serena murmured.
She exited the sleeping chamber and crossed through the main room. Thankfully no one was there. Hale and Gav had their own tents nearby, but hers was the central tent, the one meant for meetings and receiving guests. It felt too large for one person.
She slipped out into the night and made her way to the forest on the outskirts of camp.
Her insides were hurting again.
She walked for a few minutes, then stopped at a large jagged boulder, leaning against it.
Something was off. Chills again.
Extreme pain lanced through her insides. The pain splintered through her limbs, and her bones felt like they were breaking again and again. But she looked down and they weren't.
Her arm exploded white hot. Her Hidden Flame mark burning.
Panting, she slid to the ground, back against the boulder.
The amount of pain was unbearable. But she'd had worse.
She wondered if it was from breaking the matebond.
It had to be. What else could it be?
She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that. Only that the pain didn't pass. It grew, amplifying. She didn't realize her panting had turned into high pitched, strangled, distorted gasps.
She grit her teeth, not wanting to cry or flinch.
She rolled onto all fours, dry heaving, but nothing came out.
She crawled back, putting her back against the large boulder.
At that moment, all of her limbs felt like they were breaking.
She gasped and stifled a yelp. This pain was on par with the level she felt the night Drakenfell was invaded.
A sob escaped her lips.
She looked down but her limbs were fine. Nothing changed.
She fell over onto her side, still breathing ragged. She immediately tried to push herself upright, and it took her a minute.
Cold sweat dripped down her temples.
Maybe it was a shift? She reached for her wolf, not fully sure if Aurelia could hear.
Serena: Aurelia, are you there?
Nothing.
Serena: Am I shifting for the first time?
Still silence.
The pain intensified, both in her body and on her mark.
Her breath came in sharp gasps with staccato whimpers. She gritted her teeth, trying not to make noise, but the pain overcame her. It was taking all her effort not to scream.
That's when someone came running.
She had fallen over again and was laying on her side.
"Serena!" Finnick Shadowclaw put his arms around her, helping her sit up against the boulder.
She swallowed. "I'm alright." Her voice sounded almost level. But her body gave her away.
"No, you're not," Fin said. He felt her neck and her forehead. "You're burning up."
He studied her for a moment, brow furrowed.
"The sensation you're feeling… it's similar to what happens during a slow shift. But not at this degree." He paused. "Are you trying to shift?"
"How do you know what sensation I'm feeling?" Serena asked, back to panting but trying to get her mind off the pain.
"You don't know?"
Serena tried to answer with a level voice. It took concerted effort.
"Know what?"
Finnick paused. He was crouching in front of her on his knees. Her vision was blurring in and out, but she could see he was young. The youngest Alpha King here outside of Garrett, who technically wasn't an Alpha King yet, just Darkhowler's chosen successor.
That alone had to be a story. To her knowledge, Garrett never had any interaction with Darkhowler before Frostborne fell, and he was born with a Gamma aura. How he'd gone from that to heir of a kingdom was a mystery she didn't have the energy to unpack right now.
Finnick's voice broke her out of her thoughts.
"Do you have a wolf?" he asked, careful to make the question neutral.
Serena looked at him, vision blurring. The burn on her arm was white hot. Her Hidden Flame mark reacting to her pain. No question it was correlated with whatever the hell was happening.
In her blurred vision, she saw Finnick jolt in perfect tandem with the sensation.
Maybe he was connected to the Hidden Flame and didn't realize?
For whatever reason, she didn't filter herself.
"I did once. She spoke to me. But I lost her," Serena said, not counting the dream she had.
Finnick's jaw locked. "What do you mean?"
"Similar to a mindlink, my wolf spoke in my..." Serena began to say.
Finnick cut her off.
"No. I mean what do you mean by disappeared?"
Serena swallowed, not answering. She came to her senses, realizing if she clarified, he'd either assume it was Drakenfell, which would reflect poorly on them. Or he'd put two and two together, because Viremont was the only pack that cuffed women in silver. That would mean she'd escaped and Drakenfell took her in, which could also implicate them negatively.
For reasons she could not explain, she trusted Finnick. Still, it was not just about her. She weighed it back and forth, then chose caution.
"I am all right," she said at last, finding her voice and ignoring the sharp jabs of pain. "I truly appreciate your concern. Please do not trouble yourself or lose sleep over me. I'll head back to my tent in a bit."
He didn't answer for a minute. But when he finally did, his voice was direct. Alpha tone.
"No. I'm not leaving you."
She didn't realize Fin was holding her hand until he gave hers a squeeze. Just an I've got you gesture. She understood it.
She shut her eyes, head leaning against the stone, trying to think of another way she could get him to return to his tent and not tell anyone about this.
A few minutes passed. Her eyes snapped open, hearing footsteps. Everything was a blur. She blinked, trying to focus.
For the second time in her life, she rewrote her definition of pain.
She just then noticed her breathing was all over the place. She concentrated, getting the ragged noises coming out of her under control.
It dawned on her why Finnick didn't want to leave. He'd heard her and assumed she was dying. No wonder.
She tried to stand. Instead, she fell over onto her side. The most she could manage would be crawling on all fours, and she refused to let Finnick carry her.
One, that would be embarrassing.
Two, there was a high risk of their alliance being exposed if he entered or exited her tent. If she was seen with him at all, questions would follow.
In that moment, her Hidden Flame mark flashed even hotter. Finnick winced, glancing at his arm and then back at her. Twice now she'd seen him do that.
Another figure appeared next to Finnick. Aeron, Shadowclaw's Master Mage and the one Hyran had contacted to arrange their private meeting. His face blurred into view. Finnick said something, and Aeron spoke back, voice muffled.
She heard Aeron call her name, and his face came into focus. She could just make out what he was saying.
"I've seen this before. When wolves cannot shift due to silver poisoning," Aeron explained.
Gold light flashed from his hands. Serena didn't even feel it.
"Not to this degree, however," Aeron added, frowning.
He felt her forehead and neck. He rolled up her sleeve, almost like he was checking to see if her arm had changed into a wolf's paw.
It hadn't.
He reached for her other arm, the one with the Hidden Flame mark, and she jolted, pulling it back so he wouldn't see.
Adrenaline coursed through her body. Blood oaths did that. You physically could not go against it, and if somehow you managed to fight the force of magic, your heart would stop.
Finnick said something muffled that Serena couldn't make out. Aeron didn't reach for her arm again.
Aeron's voice cut through the haze.
"Serena, are you trying to shift on purpose right now? Or fighting a shift trying to prevent it?"
Serena closed her eyes, processing the question and getting her breathing under control. A sob escaped her before she realized.
Gods, this was embarrassing. What the hell was wrong with her.
The question should have annoyed her. Obviously, if she was doing either of those, she'd have stopped before she left the tent. But it was perfectly valid. Aeron was treating this like Hyran would. Seek to understand. Rule out variables.
"Neither. But I've also never shifted before," she rasped, eyes still shut. "Is it possible there's something I'm doing and am not aware of?"
The pain now was pure agony. She wouldn't be able to hold back screaming much longer.
Aeron said something. So did Finnick. Their voices were muffled.
Then something unexpected happened.
A thin golden cuff bracelet vibrated on her arm.