Trevor Ashford was in the middle of the biggest confession of his life, and though he did feel it was a bit cowardly to be doing this only now that he was facing certain death, the thought of not telling the woman he loved how he felt before passing on somehow pained him more than just burying such feelings.
Besides, while they were both stubborn and dense, often so caught up in their work and lives that they could miss what should be obvious, neither of them was a fool.
After so many years together, the two of them were well aware of each other's feelings, but with the difference in their positions, and the ongoing crisis, they had always found a way to justify putting off dealing with this particular issue.
Unfortunately for Lt. Ashford, he never did get to finish what he wanted to say, as the moment be began uttering those words he never dared to before, a blinding flash of light engulfed him.
Then, everything went dark.
Trevor knew what was going to happen, so truthfully, he wasn't expecting to feel anything when the end came.
Spatial Tears expanded faster than the speed of light, breaking all known laws of physics, shredding then swallowing up everything within billions of kilometres of their origin in the blink of an eye.
Being caught in one, logically speaking, should have resulted in a swift and painless death; but when the moment came, Lt. Ashford learned the hard way once more that theories on paper were not the same as reality.
As if he was struck by a tsunami of flames, Trevor Ashford felt his body literally being ripped to shreds and a soul-wrenching pain he could find no words to describe assaulted him with such intensity that almost immediately after it struck, he blacked out.
Never in his wildest dreams did Trevor Ashford expect to wake up again after 'dying', but wake he did, and in excruciating pain at that.
Despite feeling like his very existence was being worn down by sandpaper, Trevor couldn't pass out again and was forced to endure the unending torment.
Time crept by slowly, or perhaps flew by like lightning, Lt. Ashford couldn't tell, all he knew was suffering; and yet, instead of driving him mad, the pain slowly but surely made him numb.
Oddly enough, over time, Trevor adapted to the constant agony and eventually he was able to open his 'eyes' to take in his surroundings.
Stunned by what he 'saw', Trevor was so overwhelmed that he momentarily forgot about the pain. As he looked around, he saw an ocean of the deepest darkness imaginable filled with an uncountable number of shimmering auroras of rivers of multi-coloured light, all of which were twisting, turning, and flowing across the void.
It was simultaneously the most terrifying and beautiful scene he could have ever imagined.
Dumbfounded, Trevor Ashford simply stared at the world around him as he flew backwards through it, and it wasn't until a long time later that he suddenly wondered, Where am I?
Clearly, he wasn't back in the research station as that had assuredly blown up. The Spatial Tear which exploded out of the containment field should have killed him, and yet here he was, floating in this vast empty space filled with strange and mesmerizing currents of light.
This was also not space, as space was far emptier than the scenery around him, not to mention the fact that he could still 'breathe'.
Suddenly realizing something, Trevor looked down at himself; but even after all the shocks he had received today, what he saw this time topped them all.
Rather than what he saw, it was more what he didn't see that should have filled him with dread; however, rather than panicking, he felt a strange sense of indifference as he thought to himself, Oh, I really am dead…
Simply put, there was nothing.
No hands, no feet, no body, nothing whatsoever.
Trevor Ashford could still clearly 'feel' his existence, like he still had his limbs, torso, and head; he could even turn his gaze around and 'move' his appendages freely as if they were still there, but he couldn't see them at all.
Stranger yet, when he tried using one of his 'hands' to touch his other hand, he could still 'feel' himself.
None of this made sense to him.
How could he still sense and even touch himself if he didn't have a body?
How could he feel pain if he didn't have a physical form?
And why wasn't he freaking out right now and was instead just calmly analysing his situation?
Several possibilities came to mind all at once. He may be dead and this was the afterlife, though if this was all there was after passing on, Trevor felt it was a bit disappointing. Certainly, the scenery that he was traveling through was equal parts enchanting and frightening, but that was all; as far as he could tell, there was simply nothing else here.
Another possibility was that he had somehow miraculously survived and was now just unconscious, dreaming this whole scenario up. This seemed highly unlikely, though, as he could remember being hit by the blast of warped space and energy when the Spatial Tear formed.
It was such an excruciating experience that Trevor didn't think he would ever be able to forget it. And besides, the evacuation ship had already departed, so there was no way off the research station. How could he have survived under such circumstances?
Still, the fact that he was even able to contemplate his situation meant that at least he was conscious of his own existence.
Understanding that, Trevor Ashford arrived at what he felt was the most likely scenario, though he had no way of verifying it. Somehow, someway, his conscious mind, or perhaps his 'spirit', had been separated from his physical form and then sucked into the Spatial Tear.
As long as what he was experiencing was 'real', then at the very least, his mind needed to be present to perceive it.
Perhaps this is what it feels like to be a free-floating Soul? He pondered.
Trevor had absolutely no way of knowing if his guess was correct, or even if it was, how it was possible, but he did recall some theories being proposed about Spatial Tears over the years which stated that they were actually cracks in the very fabric of reality inside of which even fundamental laws of physics became warped.
What's more, the experiments being carried out on the remote research base he had been working at were an attempt to open a small, stable Spatial Tear in hopes of exploring it, uncovering where it led, what it contained, and how to effectively block or close it.
The exact science of how this was accomplished was beyond Trevor's understanding, but he did know that the experiments involved a heavily modified warp field generator which functioned in a state of barely controlled overloaded being used to open a microscopic rip in space.
After a tear was opened, an absurd amount of energy and some kind of exotic matter harvested from the sites of previous Spatial Tears were introduced in order to temporarily stabilize it.
Thinking back on the accident, Trevor remembered that when the Spatial Tear had gone out of control, the research team flooded it with that same exotic matter and energy in an attempt to bring it under control again. If that exotic energy was still present inside the containment field, and at the moment the Spatial Tear erupted I was bombarded by it, perhaps that allowed the bioelectricity that made up my consciousness to retain its form?
In all honesty, Trevor Ashford was just guessing randomly, trying to make sense of his current predicament. He wasn't even sure why he was doing this as it was fairly obvious that even if he had so far managed to survive, being trapped… wherever he was, he would eventually die.
If he was asked if he was willing to give up, then the answer was naturally a resounding no as giving up wasn't in his nature, but he literally had no physical form and was floating helplessly in a seemingly endless expanse right now, so his options were severely limited.
Worse yet, Lt. Ashford felt that his unusual indifference and numbness to his current crisis were signs that his sense of self was slowly being worn away. His emotions, which should have been running wild right now, were seemingly unresponsive, and it wasn't just the lack of fear and panic regarding his predicament that he found odd.
When he thought about his little sister Lily, Trevor could clearly recall what she looked like, the sound of her voice, the times he played together with her, and the tears they shed at their family's memorial, but all the 'feelings' which should have been associated with those events seemed to be melting away, like he was watching a holo-recording of someone else's life, rather than his own.
Even if a person retained all their memories, if they couldn't feel anything about those memories, were they really still themselves?
Could a life without emotions, where everything they knew was simply a database of information, even be called life?
These were the philosophical questions Trevor Ashford was now facing, and the fact that he wasn't even disturbed about them, while he was losing his sense of self, was only further pushing him into the abyss.
Eventually, Lt. Trevor Ashford, having tried multiple methods of 'swimming' through the void, reaching out to try to grab hold of the streams of light around him, and even 'willing' himself to move in some kind of controllable fashion, reached a rather gloomy conclusion, What will be, will be.
With no control over his 'body' or situation, only able to 'look' around at his surroundings, Trevor simply decided to close his 'eyes' and wait for whatever end would come.
Trevor Ashford's consciousness thus slowly slipped away.
He wasn't sure if he was no longer in pain, or had simply stopped being able to feel it; but now, he was numb. Floating freely through the void, he figured he would soon be dead for real this time, and had become indifferent to even that.
At the last moment before he faded from existence, though, he felt what could only be described as a faint warmth on his 'back'.
Intrigued, he turned his 'head' around just in time to see he was drifting towards a glowing white crack in one of the massive auroras. This crack almost looked like a small Spatial Tear, and it seemed to be drawing him over.
Unable to change his direction, Trevor Ashford allowed himself to be pulled along, and in the next moment, he 'saw' a brilliant flash, like a bolt of lightning, and 'heard' a loud rumbling, like the crack of thunder.
The next thing he knew, he was thrown out of the endless nothingness into a rather ordinary looking forest.
In that instant, Trevor felt the sun on his 'face', the wind blowing through his 'hair', and could even 'smell' the fresh air around himself. The rush of stimuli provided new, yet familiar sensations to his senses, yet even though he seemed to have been 'saved', he still felt nothing.
Escaping from the pitch-black nightmare didn't re-ignite Trevor's emotions or awaken a desire to survive in him, making him realize that he was already too far gone to be saved.
Death was still inevitable; the only thought that really crossed his mind was that dying here in this forest was probably better than perishing in that big empty blackness.
Before he could close his 'eyes' again, however, Trevor Ashford 'heard' the mournful cry of a woman. Glancing over, he saw a pretty woman with long black hair reaching out towards him.
While this woman looked like she was quite far away, Lt. Ashford somehow realized that rather than them being distant, the local space seemed to be distorted somehow. On top of that, he felt that either time was being warped, or his senses had been heightened because everything around him looked and felt like it was happening in slow motion.
Seeing the look of panic and desperation on the black-haired woman's face as she reached out towards him, Trevor Ashford was puzzled. He had never seen her before, so logically there was no reason for her to show concern for him.
What's more, how was she able to even see him if he was just an incorporeal soul?
Glancing down at himself, Lt. Ashford suddenly realized that rather than what he expected, his 'body' now appeared to have a faint white hue about it. He didn't have arms and legs, or even a humanoid shape of any kind, but he did have a visible form akin to a streak of black light.
In fact, around himself, he saw other streaks of black and white light, like lightning, flying out in all directions.
Looking back up at the woman, who despite moving far faster than should be possible for a human, still appeared to be in slow-motion, Trevor Ashford felt that she was calling out to him, though the name she was shouting didn't seem to be his own.
Suddenly realizing something, for the first time since he emerged from the void, Lt. Ashford turned around and looked where he was heading, only to see a small boy with a bloodied body and a dull look in his eyes staring blankly towards him.
In that moment, Trevor Ashford understood.
The unknown woman wasn't calling out to him, she was calling out to this boy who he was about to crash into, and more than likely… kill...