After all the thoughts and confusion, it took me a few days to come out of it. Slowly, I settled back into my usual rhythm. I wasn't completely free from the doubt that had shaken me, but I learned to push it down and carry on.
Soon, I was back to my little admiration routine, back to feeling lighter whenever she was around, back to the small happinesses I didn't want to lose.
Around that time, one more person got added to our group — Sharon, Ruth's friend. Earlier, she worked in a different building, but she got moved to ours. Before she came, Ruth had informed me casually,
"Hey, one of my friends is moving to our building."
I nodded and smiled, but honestly, I wasn't very excited. I wasn't sure why — maybe I felt our group was already settled, or maybe adding one more person felt like disturbing the balance I had grown used to. But obviously, I couldn't do anything about it.
And surprisingly, once Sharon joined us, she blended in easily. She became friends with all of us, and soon, she was part of every break, every lunch, every joke.
Days passed like that—routine, comforting, predictable.
Around this time, my office team planned an outing. It was my first proper outing with them. Since I was new, it took me time to open up, but slowly, I did. We had fun, played games, talked freely, and for the first time, I felt a good bond forming with my team.
After the outing ended, we were returning to the office when I found out that Ruth and her friends were going for a movie—and Felix was going with them too.
That bothered me more than I liked to admit. I didn't want Felix to be the only guy around her. Maybe that wasn't logical, maybe it wasn't right, but feelings don't follow rules.
Then Ruth turned to me and asked,
"Will you come for the movie?"
My answer was obviously yes.
But fate had other plans.
My team's transport got delayed. I still tried to reach on time, telling myself I could somehow make it. I rushed, I stressed, I kept checking the time, but eventually… I missed it.
I reached late.
I went home feeling disappointed in myself — not because I missed the movie, but because I missed a moment I really wanted to be part of.
The next day was a weekend, and I have this habit:
Whenever I feel sad, I distract myself with food or a movie. So I checked what films were playing and booked a ticket for myself.
I casually dropped a message in the group:
"I'm going for a movie."
Immediately, Felix and Ruth responded:
"You should have asked us! We could have come along."
I didn't reply anything major — just a simple acknowledgment.
I didn't expect anything more.
But to my surprise, both of them booked tickets for the same show. So instead of watching the movie alone, I ended up watching it with them.
And even though Felix was there, I felt relieved.
Somehow, the disappointment of the previous day felt compensated.
It wasn't a big moment, but it meant something to me.
After the movie, we all went home.
I felt a bit lighter that night. Maybe because it was the first time I actually hung out with Ruth outside the office.
Maybe because the day felt warm, familiar, almost perfect.
But people always say —
The more happiness you get, the more bad luck waits for you.
I never believed it much. I never thought something like that would happen to me.
And I didn't know then that something was about to happen.
Something sudden.
Something sharp.
Something I wasn't prepared for at all.
Like a storm hitting without warning.