The wind gave me comfort as I walked between the trees. It was my first day in college, and I was pretty nervous. I walked alone, avoiding every eye and every voice I could. When I entered the college through the main entrance, the whole hall felt empty. I walked slowly toward a nice-looking sofa and sat there for a while, still feeling hopeless.
With no other choice, I finally mustered every ounce of courage I had and went straight to the security guard. With my broken English, I asked him,
"Excuse me…?"
He looked straight into my eyes and said, "Yes."
I tried to avoid asking, but again, with no other choice, I said, "Where are all the freshers?"
"They are in the auditorium," he replied.
I thanked him and started walking. Then I suddenly remembered that I had no idea where the hell the auditorium was.
I walked aimlessly, opening every door I saw, going in and out, until I finally found the auditorium. I got excited and walked straight to the door. When I opened it, they were introducing clubs.
I asked someone who looked just as anxious as me,
"How long has this been going on?"
He looked at me. I felt like he didn't like that question, but reluctantly, he said, "It's been one hour."
"One hour? But they didn't inform us about this," I said.
"Have you checked your email?"
"No," I said, faking a smile.
"That explains why you're not wearing a white dress," he said.
"Ahh… yeah," I replied awkwardly.
I knew it was already late, but as a basic courtesy, I asked,
"Hey, what's your name?"
"Joshua."
He looked away without even asking my name.
I was already having a bad day, but getting ignored by someone I had just met made it even worse.
I sat there in the auditorium until the event ended. Then the seniors invited the freshers to dance, sing, or show off any musical instrument skills. Some had skills, and some clearly didn't. But the ones I truly admired were the ones without any skills, because standing in front of so many people takes real confidence. When others laughed at them openly, I cheered for them silently.
After about thirty minutes, everyone wearing white stood up and started walking. I looked like an ugly duckling in my black shirt among all those pure white dresses. Still, I followed them.
We arrived at a small garden. They said it was an icebreaker activity and that we would plant a tree in the name of our whole batch. I mostly just watched, without even getting a chance to hold the hammer. Then we started taking photos again. I felt left out. I tried to fit into the frame, but it didn't work.
Officially, my whole day was ruined.
I walked away from there, where my brother was waiting for me in his car. As I walked toward him, he started giggling and showed me a video of the entire event, where I was standing like an idiot, trying to fit into the group. When I looked into his eyes, he stopped laughing.
To be honest, I felt completely sad and almost cried in front of him. I thought he would understand me, but I guess not.
He took me to the hostel, my new home for the next four years of my B.Tech life. I stepped out of the car, took a deep breath, and walked straight to the warden's office with my brother. He spoke to the warden and handled everything while I stayed quiet. I overheard that guardians weren't allowed to enter the hostel rooms. The warden searched for my name and handed me the key to my room.
My brother unloaded my luggage and called me over. I don't know if it was my first time or not, but he hugged me and said,
"Study well and make many friends."
I didn't know whether to cry or smile, so I smiled on the outside and cried on the inside. Before leaving, he took out his wallet and gave me some money. I stood there, watching his car disappear.
I looked at the heavy keys in my hand and noticed my room number was 111. I stared at the key for a while, then started carrying my luggage inside. A few guys who didn't even know me helped me take my luggage to my room.