The thing about running a restaurant that had become a nexus point for dimensional weirdness, cosmic entities, and general reality-bending chaos, Cartoon Cat reflected while preparing his mise en place for Thursday evening service, was that eventually someone was going to take issue with your existence.
Multiple someones, apparently.
It started with a letter.
Not an email. Not a text. An actual physical letter, delivered through the dimensional door by what appeared to be a Doombot—one of Doctor Doom's robotic duplicates, rendered in chrome and green, standing imperiously in the dining room at 2 PM.
"CORRESPONDENCE FROM THE GREAT VICTOR VON DOOM, RULER OF LATVERIA, MASTER OF SCIENCE AND SORCERY," the Doombot announced in that distinctive pompous tone. "YOU WILL READ IT IMMEDIATELY."
Cartoon Cat, who'd been in the middle of making fresh pasta, wiped his hands and pulled out a sign: "CAN IT WAIT? I'M WORKING."
"DOOM'S MESSAGES DO NOT WAIT."
"FINE."
He took the letter—actual parchment, sealed with wax, very dramatic—and opened it.
The handwriting was impeccable, each word precisely formed:
Cartoon Cat,
Your establishment operates outside the normal bounds of dimensional law. Your abilities to access hammerspace, summon entities from other realities, and bend physics through so-called "toon force" represent a significant threat to global stability.
Additionally, your restaurant has become more popular than any of Doom's Latverian establishments, which is unacceptable.
Therefore, Doom has assembled a coalition to address the problem of your existence. Surrender peacefully, and you will be studied humanely. Resist, and face the consequences.
Respectfully,
DOOM
P.S. - Your risotto recipe would be appreciated. For diplomatic purposes.
Cartoon Cat read the letter twice.
Then pulled out a sign: "HE WANTS TO FIGHT ME BECAUSE MY RESTAURANT IS MORE POPULAR THAN HIS?"
"DOOM'S MOTIVATIONS ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION," the Doombot replied.
"AND HE WANTS MY RISOTTO RECIPE."
"DOOM APPRECIATES FINE CUISINE."
Cartoon Cat considered this. On one hand, Doctor Doom was a legitimate threat—genius intellect, mastery of science and magic, ruler of a country. On the other hand, this seemed like a weirdly petty reason to assemble a coalition.
He pulled out a new sign: "TELL DOOM I'M FLATTERED BUT BUSY. MAYBE WE CAN RESCHEDULE THE ATTEMPTED DESTRUCTION OF MY EXISTENCE FOR NEXT WEEK?"
"DOOM DOES NOT RESCHEDULE."
And then the Doombot exploded.
Not destructively. Just a small pop of displaced air and smoke, revealing it had been a messenger construct designed to self-destruct after delivery.
Cartoon Cat stood in his dining room, holding Doom's letter, surrounded by dissipating smoke.
"WELL," his sign said to the empty room, "THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM."
His phone buzzed. Multiple messages.
Doctor Strange: "I'm detecting a massive convergence of hostile entities heading toward your location. Doom, Loki, the Abomination, Silver Surfer, and what appears to be multiple Ghost Riders. This is... concerning."
Tony Stark: "Heads up - Doom just declared you a 'threat to dimensional stability' on some kind of villain message board. Half the bad guys in the database are mobilizing. Do you need backup?"
Spider-Man: "Mr. Cartoon Cat I heard there's going to be a big fight!!! Can I help?! I'm good at fights! Please let me help!"
Deadpool: "VILLAIN TEAM-UP ATTACKING YOUR RESTAURANT?! This is the best day! I'm coming over! Can I bring weapons?!"
Cartoon Cat sighed—the visual effect appearing in the air—and typed a group response: "Probably going to handle this myself. Will call if I need backup. Thank you for the concern."
He had maybe an hour before Doom's coalition arrived. Time to prepare.
But prepare how? He'd fought gods, kaiju, ninjas, but an organized group of Marvel villains was different. They'd coordinate, use strategy, exploit weaknesses.
He needed something big.
Something really big.
Cartoon Cat went to his kitchen and stood in front of the hammerspace access point.
He'd pulled Godzilla from it. A Jaeger. The Blades of Chaos. Hammerspace seemed to contain anything from fiction that was sufficiently awesome.
So what was the most awesome thing he could think of?
What was the biggest, most over-the-top, most ridiculously powerful mech from all of anime?
The answer came immediately.
Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.
The final form from the Gurren Lagann series. A mech so large it used galaxies as weapons. So powerful it drilled through the fabric of reality itself. So absurdly over-the-top that it transcended normal physics and operated on pure fighting spirit.
Could he pull that from hammerspace?
Only one way to find out.
Cartoon Cat reached behind his back, extended his arm deep into the dimensional storage, and thought: The biggest drill. The most spiral power. Gurren Lagann.
His hand found something.
Something that felt infinite.
Something that his cartoon senses screamed was WAY too big.
He pulled anyway.
Reality didn't just scream this time. It shattered.
The dimensional pocket that contained The Glitch didn't just expand—it opened a rift to somewhere else, somewhere bigger, somewhere that could contain what was coming through.
And from hammerspace, growing larger with every second, emerged Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.
The mech was indescribable. Fifty-two billion light-years tall. Made of condensed spiral energy and fighting spirit. Its drill could pierce dimensions. Its very existence warped space-time.
Cartoon Cat was standing on its head—because toon force said if he summoned it, he could pilot it, and physics could cry about it.
The mech's eyes glowed green with determination. Its drill began to spin, reality rippling around it.
And Cartoon Cat, through a combination of toon force interface and sheer narrative appropriateness, was connected to its controls.
He could feel the spiral power. The overwhelming drive to overcome impossible odds through sheer determination and drilling.
It was awesome.
The rift to normal space showed Doom's coalition approaching Hell's Kitchen.
Doctor Doom himself, in his armor, floating with magical and technological support.
Loki, God of Mischief, surrounded by illusions and green magic.
The Abomination, a massive gamma-powered monster rivaling the Hulk in size and strength.
Silver Surfer, herald of Galactus, surfing through the air on his cosmic board.
And three Ghost Riders—Johnny Blaze, Danny Ketch, and Robbie Reyes—all wreathed in hellfire, riding their respective vehicles.
An impressive coalition. Coordinated, powerful, dangerous.
They reached The Glitch's location and stopped.
Because standing before them—visible through the dimensional rift, impossibly large, defying comprehension—was Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.
With Cartoon Cat piloting it.
There was a long moment of silence.
Then Doom spoke, his voice amplified to reach cosmic distances: "WHAT... WHAT IS THAT?"
Cartoon Cat's sign appeared across the New York skyline, visible for miles, written in spiral energy: "THIS IS SUPER TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN. I PULLED IT FROM HAMMERSPACE. WANT TO RECONSIDER THE WHOLE 'DESTROY MY RESTAURANT' THING?"
"THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE," Doom said, but his voice carried uncertainty now. "THAT MECH IS FROM AN ANIME. IT DOESN'T EXIST."
"I'M A CARTOON CHARACTER. NOTHING I DO SHOULD EXIST."
Loki was laughing—that manic laughter of someone who'd seen too much chaos and decided to enjoy it. "Oh, this is delightful! The cat creature has summoned a mech larger than galaxies! Brother would love this!"
Silver Surfer, who'd seen cosmic entities and impossible things, looked genuinely impressed. "The power signature... it operates on willpower and determination made manifest. I've never encountered anything quite like it."
The Ghost Riders were conferring amongst themselves, their flaming skulls somehow conveying confusion.
The Abomination just roared, because that's what the Abomination did.
Doom was recalculating. Cartoon Cat could practically see the genius mind working through scenarios, running probability calculations, assessing whether this fight was worth it.
"DOOM DOES NOT RETREAT," the dictator announced.
"DOOM ALSO DOESN'T USUALLY FIGHT GALAXY-SIZED MECHS," Cartoon Cat's sign replied.
"A VALID POINT."
Loki raised his hands, magic building. "Well, if we're committed to this farce, let's make it interesting!"
He cast a spell, and suddenly there were hundreds of Lokis, all surrounding the group, all wielding different weapons and magics.
Illusions, but powerful ones.
Silver Surfer raised his hand, cosmic energy building. "I bear no personal grudge against you, Cartoon Cat. But Doom has offered me information I seek. I must fight."
The three Ghost Riders revved their vehicles, hellfire intensifying, the Spirits of Vengeance preparing for battle.
The Abomination charged, because subtlety wasn't his strong suit.
And Doom unleashed a combination magical-technological assault that could level a city.
Cartoon Cat, piloting a mech fifty-two billion light-years tall through toon force and anime logic, had one thought:
This is going to be fun.
The drill on Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann began to spin.
Not fast. Not slow. At exactly the speed that spiral power required—the speed of determination overcoming impossible odds.
Reality itself began to spiral, caught in the wake of the drill's rotation.
Cartoon Cat didn't attack first. He defended.
Doom's assault hit the mech's energy field and dispersed harmlessly—the power of friendship and fighting spirit apparently trumping science and magic.
The Abomination's charge was met with a finger flick from the mech that sent the gamma monster flying into orbit.
Silver Surfer's cosmic blast was absorbed and redirected, the spiral power converting it into more determination.
The Ghost Riders' hellfire couldn't find purchase—the mech operated on willpower, and the Spirits of Vengeance couldn't judge what was essentially a giant robot powered by never giving up.
Loki's illusions were the most troublesome, creating confusion, but Cartoon Cat's toon force let him see through them—cartoon characters had narrative awareness that could bypass trickery.
He picked the real Loki (third from the left, slightly more solid than the others) and pointed the mech's drill at him.
"YIELD?" his sign asked.
"NEVER!" Loki shouted, but he was teleporting away even as he said it, self-preservation overriding bravado.
The illusions dissipated.
That left Doom, Silver Surfer, and the Ghost Riders.
Plus the Abomination, who was falling back from orbit and looked very angry about being flicked into space.
Cartoon Cat made a decision.
He didn't want to hurt these people. Doom was actually kind of cool, despite the whole "destroy your restaurant" thing. Silver Surfer was just doing a job. The Ghost Riders were complicated but not evil.
So instead of fighting, he did something different.
He used the mech's hand to gently pick up Doctor Doom.
The dictator struggled, blasting the giant fingers with magic and repulsor rays, but the mech was powered by spiral energy and toon force—physics didn't apply.
Cartoon Cat brought Doom close to where he was piloting from and pulled out a sign: "WHY ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS?"
Doom stopped struggling, his masked face unreadable. For a long moment, he was silent.
Then: "Your restaurant achieved in months what Doom has worked years to accomplish. Recognition. Praise. Success. It is... frustrating."
"YOU'RE JEALOUS?"
"DOOM DOES NOT EXPERIENCE JEALOUSY. DOOM EXPERIENCES... COMPETITIVE MOTIVATION."
"SAME THING."
Doom made an annoyed sound.
Cartoon Cat pulled out another sign: "YOUR LATVERIAN RESTAURANTS ARE PROBABLY GREAT. YOU'RE A GENIUS. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IT ALONE."
"DOOM NEEDS NO ONE."
"EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE. THAT'S LITERALLY THE THEME OF GURREN LAGANN."
"DOOM HAS NOT WATCHED THAT ANIME."
"YOU SHOULD. IT'S ABOUT BELIEVING IN YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS."
Doom was quiet again.
Then, grudgingly: "Perhaps Doom's approach was... hasty."
"YEAH."
"And perhaps assembling a coalition to destroy a restaurant was excessive."
"LITTLE BIT."
The great Victor Von Doom, ruler of Latveria, master of science and sorcery, sighed. It was a very human sound, tired and frustrated.
"Doom concedes this battle," he said formally. "Not because Doom was defeated, but because Doom chooses to withdraw."
"THAT'S JUST LOSING WITH EXTRA STEPS."
"IT IS A STRATEGIC REPOSITIONING."
Cartoon Cat gently set Doom down on the ground and pulled out a new sign: "IF YOU WANT TO LEARN TO COOK BETTER, I COULD TEACH YOU. NOT AS A DEFEAT THING. JUST AS A CHEF THING."
Doom looked up at the impossibly large mech, at the cartoon cat piloting it who'd just offered to give him cooking lessons.
"Doom... will consider it."
Silver Surfer approached, floating on his board. "I meant no offense, Cartoon Cat. Doom offered information about Galactus's movements. I required it for my own purposes."
"I UNDERSTAND. NO HARD FEELINGS."
The Surfer nodded. "You are unique. Even among the cosmic entities I've encountered, you stand apart. I hope we meet again under better circumstances."
"ME TOO. YOU SEEM COOL."
The Ghost Riders had stopped attacking once Doom conceded. Johnny Blaze, his flames dimmed to allow speech, called up: "We were hired! Doom said there was a dimensional threat! We didn't know it was just a restaurant!"
"IT'S A REALLY GOOD RESTAURANT."
"We heard! Can we still eat there sometime?"
"OF COURSE. FRIENDS GET A DISCOUNT."
"We're friends?"
"WE DIDN'T KILL EACH OTHER. THAT MAKES US FRIENDS."
The Abomination crashed back to earth, creating another crater, still looking ready to fight.
Doom spoke to him: "The battle is concluded, Abomination. Return to wherever you came from."
"SMASH CAT!" the Abomination roared.
"No," Doom said firmly. "Doom has conceded. The coalition is dissolved."
"DOOM WEAK!"
"Doom is pragmatic. Also, the cat has a mech larger than galaxies. You cannot smash that."
The Abomination considered this, then grumbled and stomped away, leaving destruction in his wake but no longer actively hostile.
Cartoon Cat began to shrink Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.
The process was gradual, the mech reducing in size, the dimensional rift closing, reality reasserting itself.
Smaller. Smaller. Smaller.
Until the mech was roughly the size of a building, then a car, then...
It disappeared back into hammerspace, its job complete.
Cartoon Cat stood on the ground, normal-sized, surrounded by former enemies who'd become... not quite friends, but at least not actively trying to destroy him.
Doom approached, his armor gleaming in the afternoon sun.
"Your risotto recipe," he said. "The offer for cooking lessons. Doom accepts. Not because Doom needs help, but because Doom is curious about your techniques."
Cartoon Cat pulled out a sign: "SURE. COME BY NEXT TUESDAY. BEFORE DINNER SERVICE."
"Doom will attend."
And with that, Doctor Doom activated his magic-technology hybrid flight system and departed, his dignity somehow intact despite having just been gently held by a giant robot.
Silver Surfer gave a respectful nod and flew off on his board, cosmic energy trailing behind him.
The Ghost Riders mounted their vehicles—motorcycle, motorcycle, and car respectively—and rode off, but not before Johnny Blaze called out: "See you for dinner!"
Cartoon Cat stood alone in Hell's Kitchen, surveying the damage to the surrounding area.
Multiple craters from the Abomination. Scorch marks from Ghost Rider fire. Residual magic from Loki's illusions. General chaos from a coalition attack.
But The Glitch itself was fine, protected by its dimensional pocket and the various protections it had accumulated.
His phone exploded with messages.
Tony Stark: "DID YOU JUST PULL A GALAXY-SIZED MECH FROM NOWHERE?! JARVIS detected energy signatures that shouldn't exist! Also you made Doom retreat?! HOW?!"
Spider-Man: "THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!! Can you teach me to summon giant robots?!"
Deadpool: "I recorded the whole fight. It's going viral. You're trending on seven platforms. Also Doom looked SO MAD."
Doctor Strange: "We need to have a serious conversation about your hammerspace capabilities. You're pulling objects that exist on conceptual levels. This is unprecedented. Also, well done on the peaceful resolution."
And one from an unknown number: "This is Reed Richards. I need to study that mech. For science. Please. I'm begging you."
Cartoon Cat laughed—a sound effect appearing in the air—and typed a group response: "Hammerspace is weird. I'm still figuring it out. Mech is back in storage. No, you can't study it. Yes, I'm okay. See you all later."
He had two hours before dinner service.
Time to prep, clean, make sure everything was ready.
As he worked in his kitchen, he thought about the day.
He'd pulled a galaxy-sized mech from hammerspace.
He'd faced down Doctor Doom, Silver Surfer, Loki, three Ghost Riders, and the Abomination.
He'd won through a combination of overwhelming firepower and offering cooking lessons.
And Doom was coming to learn to cook next Tuesday.
His life was absolutely ridiculous.
Cartoon Cat pulled out his special toaster and made some toast, eating it while finishing his prep work.
By the time dinner service started, everything was perfect.
And when Doctor Strange walked in for a late dinner (no reservation, but Cartoon Cat always had space), the Sorcerer Supreme sat down and spoke:
"You know, you're becoming quite the force in this universe."
Cartoon Cat pulled out a sign: "I'M JUST TRYING TO RUN A RESTAURANT."
"And fight kaiju. And battle coalitions of villains. And summon mechs that dwarf galaxies."
"THOSE ARE HOBBIES."
Strange smiled. "Keep doing what you're doing. The universe needs more people like you. Powerful but kind. Strong but gentle. Able to summon galaxy-sized mechs but choosing to offer cooking lessons instead."
"THANK YOU. THAT MEANS A LOT."
"Also, your pasta is exceptional. I'll have the carbonara."
"COMING RIGHT UP."
Cartoon Cat cooked through the evening, serving customers, making perfect food, existing in his element.
Tomorrow Doom would come for cooking lessons.
Tomorrow would bring new chaos.
But tonight, he was a chef.
And that was all that mattered.
The End... of Chapter Ten.
(In Latveria, Doctor Doom was researching Italian cooking techniques and pretending he wasn't excited about Tuesday. In space, Silver Surfer was telling Galactus about the cartoon cat with the galaxy-sized mech. And in hammerspace, Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann waited patiently for the next time someone needed to drill through their problems. But those are stories for another time.)