Gravity is a harsh mistress.
Unless you are me.
I fell thirty stories from the Dean's Office window. The wind roared. The ground rushed up to meet me like an angry pavement lover.
Most people would cast [Feather Fall].
I cast [Bank Account].
I aimed for the lead gargoyle flying below me.
CRUNCH.
I landed boots-first on the gargoyle's spine. The impact shattered its stone vertebrae. It shrieked, plummeting out of the sky.
We crashed into the courtyard.
BOOM.
Dust cloud. Craters.
The gargoyle disintegrated into gravel.
I stood up from the rubble, dusting off my blazer.
"Superhero landing," I critiqued. "2/10 on the knees. 10/10 on the style."
I looked around.
The Academy Courtyard was a war zone.
Undead soldiers; Bone Knights (Level 20) were rappelling down from the airships. They were hacking at the magic barrier protecting the dorms.
"Surrender the Vessel!" the Bone Knights hissed. "The Cabal claims this biomass!"
I drew the Soul-Eater's Fang.
The ghostly blade pulsed. It sensed the necrotic energy. It was like a shark smelling chum.
"Hey, boneheads!" I shouted.
Fifty skulls turned to look at me.
I smiled. A shark's smile.
"You're trespassing on private property."
I pointed the dagger.
"And the eviction notice is Sharp."
[Combat Mode: Engaged.]
They charged. A wall of rusted metal and bone.
[Skill: Combat Step.]
I vanished.
I didn't run away. I ran through them.
SLASH. SLASH. SLASH.
I moved like a glitch in the frame rate.
The dagger passed through their armor like it wasn't there. [Ignores 50% Defense].
Headless bodies collapsed.
But they didn't stay down.
[Effect: Soul-Eater Active.]
[Shadow Slave Created.]
The shadows of the dead knights stood up. They were made of ink and malice. They picked up the fallen weapons.
"Serve," I commanded.
The Shadow Knights turned on their former allies.
Chaos.
It was a mosh pit of undead vs. shadow undead.
[Dopamine Spike: Minion Master.]
[Kill: Bone Knight x10.]
[Loot: Soul Stone (Common) x10.]
[Value: 100,000 Gold.]
"Money," I laughed, severing another head. "It's literally raining money."
Up in the tower window, Sylvia and Seraphina watched.
"He's... enjoying it," Sylvia whispered, clutching her new collar (metaphorical, for now).
"Support him!" I yelled via comms (magic earpiece). "Earn your keep!"
"Sylvia! Crowd control!"
"Y-Yes, Master!"
Sylvia stepped onto the balcony. She raised her hand. Her eyes glowed with the chemically-induced mana I had forced into her.
[Skill: Flash Freeze.]
A beam of blue-white energy shot from the tower.
It hit the ground in front of the advancing horde.
CRACKLE.
The courtyard turned into a skating rink. A hundred skeletons slipped, falling into a pile of tangled limbs.
"Seraphina! The Buffs!"
"Yes, Boss!"
A beam of golden light hit me.
[Blessing of the War God.]
[Strength +50%. Aggression +100%.]
"Oh yeah," I growled. "That's the stuff."
I looked up at the Lead Airship. The HMS Death-rattle.
The Lich in the suit; Director Nibras was watching from the deck. He looked annoyed.
"An anomaly," Nibras noted, adjusting his monocle. "Budget adjustment required. Deploy the Flesh Golem."
The bay doors of the airship opened.
A massive, disgusting meatball fell out.
THUD.
[Mini-Boss: Abomination Construct 'The Intern']
[Level: 40]
[HP: 50,000]
It roared, spewing green bile that melted the stone.
The students trapped in the dorms screamed.
"We're gonna die!"
"Where is the Dean?!"
I looked at the Golem.
I looked at my Shadow Slaves. They were Level 20. Fodder.
"Distraction," I ordered.
My shadows charged the Golem. It swatted them like flies, smashing them into smoke.
But while it was busy playing whack-a-mole...
I looked at the anchor chain hanging from the airship.
I sheathed my dagger.
I grabbed the chain.
"Going up," I muttered.
I used [Shadow Walk] to run vertically up the chain. Gravity was for poor people.
I reached the deck in three seconds.
I vaulted over the railing.
"Welcome aboard," I announced.
Director Nibras spun around. His skeletal body was draped in fine silk. He held a clipboard.
"You," Nibras rasped. "You are Cain Cross. The thief who raided the Crypt."
"Entrepreneur," I corrected.
"You have property that belongs to the Cabal. The Crown is a heritage asset. Return it, and we will only kill you slowly."
"Return it?"
I held up my dagger. The blade shimmered, and inside the ghostly metal, the faint outline of the Crown could be seen, fused into the steel.
"I can't," I shrugged. "I ate it."
Nibras's eye sockets flared with green fire.
"You... you fused a Legendary Artifact into a weapon? That is blasphemy! That is destruction of capital!"
"It's called upcycling."
"KILL HIM!" Nibras shrieked. "Turn him into a spreadsheets error!"
The crew; Elite Liches began to cast.
[Spell: Death Bolt.]
[Spell: Rotting Curse.]
I didn't dodge.
I raised my Left Hand.
The Ring of the Void Monarch opened its maw.
[Active Skill: Gluttony.]
The spells flew at me. The green death bolts. The black curses.
They hit an invisible wall a foot from my face.
And then they were sucked in.
Slurp.
[Mana Absorbed: 5,000 Units.]
[Ring Battery: 100% charged.]
"Thanks for the refill," I smiled.
"Now, my turn."
I pointed my hand at the deck.
[Skill: System Override (Spoon Tech).]
I didn't have the spoon anymore. But I had the concept.
I targeted the floorboards.
[Target: Ship Deck (Wood).]
[Property Edit: 'Solid' -> 'Liquid'.]
The wood under the Liches' feet suddenly turned into water.
"What?! The floor!"
SPLASH.
Ten Elite Liches fell through the ship.
They plummeted 300 feet to the hard stone courtyard below.
SPLAT.
[Multi-Kill: x10.]
[EXP Shower.]
Director Nibras floated. He could fly. He hovered over the hole in his ship, trembling.
"You... you are breaking the laws of magic!"
"I'm rewriting them," I said.
I canceled the Override. The deck solidified instantly.
Just me and the Director.
[Boss Fight: Director Nibras]
[Level: 45 Mage.]
"I will end you!" Nibras roared. He began to chant a Forbidden Spell. [Soul Storm].
A vortex of screaming faces formed above the ship. It was a wiping mechanic.
"Die!"
I yawned.
"Sylvia!" I shouted into my earpiece. "Now!"
From the tower far below, a sniper shot rang out.
Not a bullet.
An Ice Lance.
Sylvia had been charging it for two minutes.
The lance soared through the air, breaking the sound barrier.
It hit Nibras directly in his open, chanting mouth.
CRACK.
His jaw shattered. The spell fizzled.
"Gack!"
"Nice shot, slave," I muttered.
I walked up to the stunned Boss.
I kicked him in the chest. He flew backward, hitting the main mast.
I pinned him there with my hand.
[Trait: The Usurper.]
My red hand gripped his skull.
"Wait!" Nibras gargled, ice shards falling from his mouth. "Let's make a deal! I can offer you a position! Chief Executive of Murder! Stock options! 401k!"
I paused.
"Stock options?"
"Yes! We have assets in the Northern Empire! We are sponsored by the Frost Empress!"
Ding.
Information acquired.
The Cabal was a front for Draconia. Sylvia's insane mother was funding terrorists.
"Good tip," I said.
I tightened my grip.
"But I prefer a hostile takeover."
[Skill: Soul Harvest.]
I ripped.
Not his head.
His Existence.
A green, screaming ghost was torn out of the skeleton. It tried to cling to its body, but the Usurper was absolute.
[Absorption Complete.]
[Boss Slain.]
[Loot Acquired: Black Gold Card (Unlimited Credit at Cabal Stores).]
[Loot Acquired: Skill Book 'Mass Corpse Explosion'.]
Nibras's empty bones clattered to the deck.
I stood on the bridge of the flagship.
The remaining ships saw their leader fall.
They panicked.
"Retreat! The Director is liquidated!"
They started to turn around.
"Oh no, you don't," I said.
I walked to the ship's helm; a glowing purple steering wheel made of bone.
I placed my hand on it.
[Item: Sky-Fortress Control Core.]
[Owner: Deceased.]
[New Owner: Cain Cross.]
"System," I commanded. "Override Friend-or-Foe identification."
[Processing...]
[All Necromancer Ships designated as: TARGETS.]
The guns of my flagship; Mana Cannons rotated.
They aimed at the retreating fleet.
I grinned.
"Fire."
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
Purple lasers tore through the sky.
The other airships, caught off guard by the betrayal, exploded in spectacular balls of green fire and debris.
Wreckage rained down on the forest outside the Academy.
[Dopamine Spike: Fleet Destruction.]
[Kill Count: 500+.]
[EXP: Massive.]
[Level Up: 19 -> 20.]
[Level Up: 20 -> 21.]
I stood amidst the burning wreckage of the enemy fleet, steering my new stolen battleship.
Below, the students cheered. They thought I saved them.
The idiots.
I picked up the intercom of the ship.
"Testing. Testing."
My voice boomed over the Academy.
"Attention Students and Faculty."
"The invasion is over."
"I have confiscated this vessel as compensation for my time."
"Also, tuition is going up."
I parked the massive airship directly on top of the Dean's rose garden.
CRUNCH.
I walked down the ramp.
Sylvia and Seraphina ran up to me.
Sylvia was panting, exhausted from the snipe. Seraphina looked conflicted but relieved.
"Boss!" Seraphina gasped. "You... you saved everyone!"
"I acquired a vehicle," I corrected, patting the hull of the Death-rattle. "Do you know how much a skyliner costs? 50 Million Gold."
"And I got it for free."
I looked at the Loot Pile gathered by my Shadow Slaves.
Thousands of Soul Stones.
And the Black Gold Card.
"Sylvia," I said.
"Y-Yes, Master?"
"Your mother funded this attack."
Sylvia froze. "What? The Empress? No... that's impossible. We have a treaty!"
"The treaty is toilet paper," I said. "Nibras confessed before I deleted him."
I looked North. Toward the icy mountains.
"She tried to kill me."
My eyes narrowed.
"That means she owes me."
"Pack your winter coats, ladies."
"We're going to Draconia."
"I'm going to have a chat with your mother."
"And by chat..."
I drew the Soul-Eater's Fang.
"I mean I'm going to steal her country."