◆◆
My eyes wavered.
At the very same moment, Gowon seized my lips roughly.
Instinctively, I shoved him away. I pressed both palms against his chest and pushed with all my strength.
"Ugh."
A short groan escaped him.
My eyes immediately fell to the bandages wrapped around the shoulder visible through the gap in his shirt.
It bothered me.
Without meaning to, I lowered my gaze.
"Are you trying to injure me again?"
"I wasn't trying to hurt you. And…"
"And?"
"It's true that I came because I was worried. But… that's only because I felt guilty knowing you were injured because of me."
A brief silence settled between us.
I cautiously lifted my gaze toward him again.
Gowon looked angry.
The face staring down at me with furrowed brows was cold beyond measure.
Yet beneath that coldness lingered a fragile emotion that looked as though it might collapse at any moment.
"So you came to ease your guilt. Is that it?"
He was clearly angry with me.
And yet, for some reason, my own heart felt as though it were sinking endlessly into a deep swamp.
Sad.
Heavy.
Hopelessly sinking.
Gowon turned his head away.
"Go back. Your duties here are finished."
I bowed and left the room.
Why did I come here?
I had been certain that simply confirming he was alright would be enough.
I thought this feeling—the one lodged inside me like a massive stone—would finally become lighter.
Strangely, it didn't.
It only became heavier.
More suffocating.
◆
I hated it because it bothered me.
The sight of her pale face framed by neat black hair.
Those dark eyes, deep as the night itself.
They kept appearing in my vision.
Especially whenever I was with Hong Yeonhwa.
And then, just as quickly, she would disappear again as though swallowed by the earth.
That only left me thirsting for her more.
Hong Yeonhwa moved gracefully through the hall in a flowing pink dress.
"Your Highness, this place is truly beautiful."
"Yuhun Hall. My grandfather built this place specifically for me."
"It's far too magnificent to be used only as a place for preserving the late king's teachings. May I take some photographs?"
"Of course."
The answer came naturally.
My body moved naturally as well.
Walking at the same pace.
Looking in the same direction.
Offering the appropriate words at the proper moments.
Everything was perfect.
The problem was my eyes.
They kept drifting elsewhere.
I could see her standing at a distance, watching Hong Yeonhwa.
"Do you think this place is beautiful as well?"
At the casual question, Seonmi hesitated unusually before answering carefully.
"It sparkles. These decorations are more magnificent than anything I've ever seen. They're truly beautiful. But…"
She paused for a moment.
Her eyes swept across the room once more before she continued.
"Unlike the other places, this hall feels colder. There doesn't seem to be any heating. It must have meant enduring the heat in summer and the cold in winter while studying here."
"..."
"And seeing all those canes lined up neatly over there, I can only imagine how harsh your training must have been, Your Highness."
I didn't answer.
Her words stripped away layers I had long buried.
My gaze shifted.
Toward the things hanging on the wall.
The carefully arranged instruments.
The perfectly ordered objects that now looked like nothing more than decorations.
But I knew.
They weren't decorations.
I inhaled slowly.
Cold air filled my lungs.
And memories followed.
"Kneel."
The floor was cold.
Without a word, I knelt.
The stone bit into my skin.
"Raise your head."
I obeyed.
My grandfather's eyes were directly in front of me.
Eyes without emotion.
No.
Eyes that allowed no emotion.
"Why did you stop?"
I couldn't answer.
"Answer."
His voice was low.
It never changed.
There was no escape.
"My writing hand…"
Before I could even finish speaking, a hand struck me.
Crash.
My head snapped to the side.
My vision shook.
I straightened again.
"A king does not explain his reasons."
He spoke.
"He produces results."
I swallowed.
The taste of blood filled my mouth.
"This book is a burden you must bear. Until you finish your studies in kingship and succession records, you will not leave this room."
I wanted to stop.
But I couldn't.
Because Grandfather had taught me that stopping meant the end.
The moment I stopped, I became inadequate.
And I was never permitted to be inadequate.
"Your body…"
Her voice pulled me back to the present.
Even after I turned my head, her eyes remained fixed on Hong Yeonhwa.
Yet her concern was clearly directed at me.
"Have you fully recovered?"
Following her gaze, I looked toward Hong Yeonhwa.
"I'm resilient enough that it doesn't matter."
I heard a small laugh escape her.
My eyes shifted toward her.
The corners of Seonmi's dark eyes softened.
It was nothing more than a simple smile.
And yet I found it difficult to look away.
She quickly hid it again.
Returning to her usual blank expression.
The smile had lasted only a moment.
And somehow, that disappointed me.
"Then that's good."
The moment she finished speaking, Hong Yeonhwa began walking toward us.
Afraid that my disappointment might somehow show on my face, I deliberately hardened my expression.
"Your Highness, where will you show me next?"
"I think you'll enjoy the garden near the western gate."
"I'd like that."
She smiled innocently.
I began walking beside Hong Yeonhwa once more.
But my thoughts had already wandered elsewhere.
◆◆
The dressing room prepared for Lady Hong Yeonhwa was exceptionally luxurious even by the standards of the detached palace.
It quietly demonstrated how the royal family regarded her and what position they intended for her to occupy.
The dresses hanging on the racks were all exquisite.
Silks that flowed elegantly.
Delicate lace.
Fabrics so fine they seemed likely to wrinkle from the slightest touch.
Soft shades of ivory, pale rose, and muted gray filled the room with understated elegance.
Click. Click.
The crystal decorations on her shoes sparkled with every step.
"It seems everyone thinks I'm just a puppet. A spoiled daughter who only goes where her father tells her and enjoys hobbies chosen for her. But surely they don't think I'm incapable of understanding what it means to be invited to participate in a royal cultural project."
Her eyes lowered slightly.
She selected a dress from the wardrobe and turned around.
"Fortunately, there's at least one thing my father chose that I actually like."
Smiling, she held the dress out to me.
"I'll wear this one tonight. We have an important dinner."
Her next engagement was a private dinner with Gowon.
Beneath glittering crystal chandeliers stood a long dining table.
At opposite ends sat the two most important people in the room.
Who had chosen the music flowing softly through the quiet space?
Perhaps the perfectionist Crown Prince had selected every detail according to her preferences.
"Your Highness is remarkably thoughtful. The flowers, the food, even the colors I like… It's obvious how much care went into this."
"I'm glad you like it."
The glimpse of his white teeth irritated me.
He treated me so coldly, yet he played the role of a perfect gentleman so effortlessly.
"I personally brought this wine from France for Your Highness."
She gestured for me to bring it.
I carefully lifted the heavy bottle with both hands.
It was a vintage wine that had endured decades.
The aroma released when the cork opened alone hinted at its value.
The wine poured into the glass with a soft sound.
Deep ruby red.
Each time the liquid shifted beneath the light, it shimmered like a jewel.
Hong Yeonhwa raised the glass first.
My gaze naturally moved from her to Gowon.
I had never seen him drink alcohol before.
No.
As far as I knew, no one had.
Not at banquets.
Not at official events.
He always lifted the glass.
But rarely brought it to his lips.
Then—
his hand moved.
Gowon lifted the wine glass.
My breath caught.
The glass reached his lips.
Without realizing it, I stared.
The ruby wine tilted slowly.
He took a sip.
For some reason, something heavy settled inside my chest.
Hong Yeonhwa smiled.
"You're drinking tonight."
"Occasionally."
For a moment, it felt as though Gowon's eyes met mine.
As though he were trying to read my thoughts.
I lowered my gaze.
This has nothing to do with me.
That's what I told myself.
I despise Gowon.
We are like water and oil.
Things that can never mix.
Then why—
did I avoid his gaze?
Especially when he was with Hong Yeonhwa.
Whenever I saw them together, I found myself fleeing as though determined not to interfere.
As though I were the one conscious of him.
"Your Highness, if you've finished your meal… I'd like to continue our conversation on the terrace."
At Hong Yeonhwa's request, Gowon slowly rose from his seat.
She stood as well, wine glass in hand.
Together, they walked toward the terrace.
In the candlelit dining room, the sight of them walking side by side seemed almost perfect.
I looked away.
More time passed than I expected.
The candles flickered.
Several songs changed.
Still, neither of them returned.
Without really thinking.
Only to confirm.
I slowly made my way toward the terrace.
I stopped at the doorway.
A cool night breeze drifted inside.
The curtain shifted once.
Then again.
And through the gap, I saw them.
I froze.
At that moment, Hong Yeonhwa leaned forward first.
There was no hesitation in her movement.
I saw Gowon's face stiffen.
Only for a second.
I stopped breathing.
Her hand rested on his shoulder.
I thought he would pull away.
At least, I thought Gowon would.
But he didn't move.
Instead, he tilted his head and returned her kiss.
Then Gowon looked directly toward me.
He didn't look away.
This wasn't my imagination.
While kissing her, he was watching me.
A thirst began burning its way up from my throat.