Orion was repenting.
As a player with a level 100 Mona, he hadn't recognized her.
It must be because this Mona was wearing her old outfit!
The key was that listening to what Mona said, it seemed she was here to pick up something for her master? Wasn't that Mona's Story Quest?
To be honest, back when the old skin was around, if you didn't feel anything watching that stretch and leg kick at the beginning of Mona's Story Quest, then you're just something else.
Now, a Mona in her old skin had fainted right in front of you. What should you do?
Naturally, take her to get something to eat. Those of you thinking otherwise, go turn yourselves in.
Orion picked up Mona and looked at her bloated belly. It looked like she had drunk quite a lot of water… She wouldn't get water intoxication, would she?
So, Orion grabbed Mona by the feet, turned her upside down to drain the water, and then suddenly became alert. Wouldn't this just make more water get into her brain?!
He hadn't learned any first aid for this! What now?
There was no other way; he just had to lay her on the ground and press on her stomach.
After pressing for a while, Mona spat out quite a bit of water, and her stomach returned to a normal level. Only then did Orion pick her up. However, as soon as he held her bridal-style, her whole head started tilting backward, which didn't look good for blood circulation, so Orion had to carry her on his back.
While walking, Orion managed to figure out Mona's situation.
As a famous astrologist and magazine contributor, Mona actually earned quite a bit of money, but she spent all her earnings on books and research equipment, leaving the poor girl struggling just to afford meals.
Mona's Story Quest involved her being entrusted by her master to come to Mondstadt to retrieve an item from Ms. Alice's daughter, little Klee. It was something her master had lost to Alice in a bet previously.
In the original storyline, there was a plot where Mona couldn't afford to eat, took on the Traveler as an apprentice on the way to Mondstadt, and finally managed to earn enough money to treat her apprentice to a meal, only for Paimon to eat up all the money in one go. Honestly, she was quite vain and also quite pathetic.
And hearing her mutter about a "son-in-law who rides a dragon" earlier, it was highly likely that her master had divined something new, causing the plot to advance early. Then, since she hadn't met Lumine and Paimon on the road, she naturally fainted from hunger.
By the way, her master was the one wearing the blue hat standing nearby when Orion was identifying his mother at the beginning—in other words, Orion's cheap aunt, Ms. Astrologer Barbeloth Trismegistus, Witch B.
Carrying Mona on his back, Orion walked leisurely: "A son-in-law who rides a dragon, huh… In ancient China, a dragon was basically the equivalent of a supercar. A 'son-in-law who rides a dragon' or a'Son of Heaven' refers to a god-tier person who can afford to drive a supercar. So, what kind of dragon do you ride in Teyvat? A Ridgeback Dragon?"
Orion imagined himself in his Shota form, holding a tree branch while riding a young Ridgeback Dragon… That would be very cute.
On the way to find Xiangling with Mona on his back, Mona hadn't been idle either; she kept trying to eat Orion's ears.
"Hehe… Pig ear, I'll eat, eat, eat, eat, eat…"
But she couldn't bite through it, and instead, her teeth hurt, which woke her up instantly. Mona opened her eyes groggily and found herself being carried on a man's back, with his ear still in her mouth.
Just as she wanted to get away, she heard Orion suddenly complain: "Who are you calling a pig? Using me as a snack? I'm truly speechless. Barbeloth asked me to take care of her apprentice, and I ended up turning into a pig ear for her. Good thing you're not awake, otherwise I'd definitely have to give your butt a few whacks…"
Mona was shocked. This person actually knew the old lady? Then he probably wasn't a bad person. Mona didn't dare stop the chewing motion in her mouth, pretending she was still eating the pig ear, waiting to see what would happen.
At this moment, Orion spoke again: "Eh? Wait, no. Should I take advantage of her being asleep to hit her a few times?"
Mona:?! Is this right? Should she wake up?
"Forget it, what if I wake her up? Although Mona is one of my many 'oshi', she is a young maiden after all, and these past two days have really been… For the sake of the bros, I'll behave."
Mona suddenly felt a stir in her heart. Was this person actually a fan of hers? Could he be a reader of her magazine?
Orion didn't have the habit of talking to himself; it was just that Mona's licking made his ears itch, and the sound kept echoing in his ear canal, just like ASMR, which made him unable to stand it, so he talked to himself to distract his attention.
But after saying a sentence or two, this feeling of secretly bad-mouthing someone right in front of them was actually quite fun, and he couldn't help but say a few more.
Listening to the ASMR by his ear, a somewhat excited Orion couldn't help but add: "How about you stop being called Mona from now on and just be called 'Mona Hoof' instead."
Mona had a face full of question marks. This person knew the old lady, so it wasn't strange that he knew her name, but why call her "Mona Hoof"? Did her legs look like horse hooves? Clearly, her waist-to-hip ratio and leg shape were so beautiful! Of course, she wouldn't know that it was because "only shallow grass can cover horse hooves."
Mona was a good actor. She slowly performed the feeling of waking up gradually. Orion didn't think too much about it; the clear-eyed college student really thought Mona had just woken up. After failed attempts at conversation, he started coaxing her like a child: "Mm, ah, right, right." Finally, half an hour later, Orion found Xiangling, who had run to a cliff without a Teleport Waypoint to pick Jueyun Chili.
Orion stood below the cliff, did a big jump, and landed vertically on the cliff hundreds of meters straight up. Mona on his back let out a "Wah!" and stiffened her body.
This scream attracted Xiangling as well. She turned around and saw Orion standing at the edge of the cliff with a girl standing at attention on his back. She quickly ran over: "Orion! Eh? Where did you come from? How come I didn't see you?"
"I jumped up from below. Just got here."
"Ah?!" Xiangling leaned over the cliff edge and looked down, feeling dizzy, but then she looked at the girl standing at attention on Orion's back; it didn't look like she was faking it.
It took the two of them a long time to calm the stressed-out Mona down. Orion had seen this state before; when Arknights first launched, there was a period where the animal-like Ptilopsis stress reaction was popular, and Mona looked just like that now.
While trying to "bring back Mona's soul," Orion roughly explained that Mona had fainted from hunger. Xiangling quickly went to start a fire and roasted a pig. The stressed yet still-able-to-eat Mona dazedly ate half a pig, and only then did her eyes finally regain their luster, followed by a bout of indiscriminate stuffing of her face.
Orion sucked his teeth and shook his head, saying to Xiangling beside him: "She was really starving."
Xiangling nodded in agreement: "She's eating with such satisfaction."
In no time, the wild boar was reduced to a scattered skeleton; the marrow had been roasted and eaten, and not even the cartilage was left.
Her shriveled stomach bulged again. Only then did Mona blankly look at the two people in front of her, and through Orion's pointed ears, she recognized that this was the one whose ears she had been eating earlier.
"Um… Tha, thank you… Thank you for saving me and giving me such delicious food! My name is Astrologist Mona Megistus, you can just call me Mona."
Orion pointed to himself: "Orion." Then he pointed to Xiangling: "Her name is Xiangling. You should thank her; she made the food for you." Mona still thanked both of them, and the humility ingrained in the bones of Liyue people made Xiangling deflect the praise for a long time before everyone finally continued the conversation.
Mona explained that she had come to find the daughter of her master's old friend to retrieve an item, and at the same time, she declared that she wanted to compete with that daughter in the art of divination! She believed that with her talent and learning, there was no reason she would lose to the successor of another witch!
Hilarious. Klee still uses a spoon to eat; Acting Grand Master Jean doesn't even dare let her use a fork, and the bamboo skewers for barbecue have to be ground to a rounded tip. Every corner of the room and table is covered with anti-collision pads, and the entire bedroom doesn't even have a windowsill, all out of fear that Klee might bump into something, and you want to compete with her in divination. She would even need to check a dictionary to understand what divination means.
However, Orion didn't say anything; he wanted to see "Mona Hoof" get deflated.
Subsequently, Xiangling also explained that the reason she and Orion had come here was to obtain ingredients, but immediately after, Xiangling's mood dropped.
"But the 300-year-old frozen boar meat I got has already been eaten by the three of us… What should I do now?"
"Ah?!" Orion was shocked: "That was the 300-year-old frozen boar meat?!"
Xiangling nodded aggrievedly: "Yes, I just saved a man named Olaf, and he told me."
Wasn't that Diona's ancestor? Orion asked again: "Then where is he?"
"He went back to Springvale by himself."
On the side, Mona also realized that it seemed because of her, Xiangling was about to lose the competition. She pulled down on the brims of her hat on both sides: "So… sorry, it's all my fault."
Xiangling suddenly changed her attitude and said to Mona with a smile: "Don't apologize! A chef is meant to bring smiles to people! You ate my food, satisfied your hunger, recovered your health, and even praised my cooking as delicious; that in itself is enough to satisfy me! Otherwise, if I couldn't even save a dying person, what kind of chef would I be!"
Mona and Orion applauded with emotion. Mao Xiangling is Mao, Liu Maoxing is also Mao; there is no problem at all with Xiangling saying this.
However, Mona still felt bad: "How about this? I'll help you divine where there are other suitable ingredients, how about that?"
"No need!" Unexpectedly, Orion interrupted from the side: "It's just frozen boar meat. I know where there is more, and there's plenty of it!"
Orion pointed in a certain direction, and "Mona Hoof" and Xiangling looked over as well.
"That is… Dragonspine?"
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