You Tao said softly:
"You don't think of your aunt as such a terrible person. I know she may be a bit selfish at times, but she's not without redeeming qualities. Yes, her tongue is sharp but her heart soft ---- a typical sharp tongue and soft heart. Even since your mother cured her infertility and helped her have four sons, she has actually been grateful, even if she has never admitted it. If it hadn't been for her quietly helping behind the scenes, your mother wouldn't have gotten away with just ten years in the labor camp. This time before I came here, she even managed to get more then ten jin of national ration coupons for me to bring to you. And when Liu'er passed away, every time your aunt mentions it, her eyes still fill with tears. After all, she watched both of you grow up. How could she have no feelings for you? If I take the children back with me, she might nag a little, sure ---- but I can promise you this: she will never mistreat them. If she ever dares to, I will be the first to stand against her." Li Weiwen looked at him silently, her expression complicated and unreadable. You Tao nodded heavily and went on, his voice growing more earnest, "My child, just look at your life here ---- the food shortages, the lack of supplies, the harsh conditions. And look at two children, they are smaller and thinner than others at their age. It is clear that they're not getting enough nourishment. This is one of the reasons that I want to take them home. Think about their future too. When they grow up, they will need to go to school. Look around, there isn't even a proper school here. If they lose both their health and their education, how will you ever live up to your elder sister's expectations? How will you live up to Commander Guo's expectation? Xue'er, don't be foolish!"
Li Weiwen remained silent for a long time before she finally spoke in a low, trembling voice:
"Uncle Tao, you're right. Then let Xinyu go back with you, but Lei'er...I don't want him to go." She bit her lip, her eyes already glistening. "This child is his posthumous son. I don't...I just want to keep him by my side. I...I can't let him leave me. " As she spoke, tears began to stream uncontrollably down her face. After a while, she continued, her voice choked with emotion, "When I see him, it is like seeing his father again. I...I can't forget him."
She broke down completely, covering her face as sobs shook her thin shoulder. You Tao gently patted her shoulder, then turned her gaze toward the two sleeping children on the kang. His voice softened:
"Xue'er, I understand. I know how deeply you love him and how much you have endured. But now it isn't time to dwell on memories. Let us talk in the secret. If possible, I would take you home this very instant, without a moment's hesitation." He paused, his eyes dim with sorrow. "Look at yourself, you have become so thin. When I saw you this afternoon, do you know how much my heart ached? If your Grandma You could see you like this, do you know how it would pain her? You know this better than I do. My child, don't let your child stay here and continue to suffer with you any longer. He isn't even two years old yet."
Li Weiwen, tears still in her eyes and her voice trembling, said:
"But, Uncle Tao, I am his mother. There is no mother who would leave her own child, isn't there? When I was a child, my mother never left me. She always protected me, shielding me from all the chaos and harm of the outside world. If my mother could do that, then so can I. I will make sure my child grows up healthy and strong."
You Tao shook his head slowly, speaking in a heavy, earnest tone:
"Xue'er, it isn't the same now. Your mother's situation back then was much better than yours now. At that time, we were all there to help her, including your grandfather. In addition, we had enough supplies so you could eat well and stay nourished. But look at you. I saw your dinner tonight, just a bowl of noodle soup without a trace of meat, a bit of pickles and one and a half steamed bun. Do you think that is the kind of food a growing child should have? Can it give him the nutrition he needs? As a mother, don't you want your child to grow up strong and healthy? Xinyu faces the same hardships and so will your child in time. You said your mother did everything she could to protect you, and that is true. She did protect you well. But when she was labelled a Rightist, why did she insist on severing ties with you publicly? She didn't want you dragged into her troubles so you could keep growing up without persecution, in a safer and healthier place. She made that sacrifice for your sake. Now Lei'er is in the same position you once were. Think carefully about what is truly best for him. Only then will you live up to his father's expectation ---- only then will you be worthy of the love you carry for him. I know you will miss Lei'er and it will break your heart to part with him. But you will always be his mother. Someday you can go home to visit him or he can come here to see you. And when he grows up, he will definitely be with you again. Don't forget he will always be your son. The bond of blood can never be broken. Xue'er, think it through carefully. Don't let your emotions make the decision for you."
Li Weiwen sobbed and said:
"Uncle Tao, please! Please give me some time to think about it."
You Tao sighed softly and said in a gently voice:
"Xue'er, you know I'm leaving tomorrow with the military truck back to Jiu Quan. There isn't much time left for you to decide. And if the children are really going home with me, I will need to speak with your commander and the political instructor to get some official paperwork. That will take some time. So I can only give you one night to think it over, understand?" Li Weiwen nodded, struggling to hold back her tears. After a brief pause, You Tao suddenly lowered his voice and continued, "There is something else I need to tell you, which is actually another reason why I come here. And it's something I couldn't write to you about. I was afraid it might bring you trouble if anyone else knew it. This February, when the US president visited our country, an American came to our hometown looking for your mother and you. His name is Edward Ray, a journalist. He said he is your father's nephew. His eyes are just like yours and he speaks Chinese very well. He came to China to cover the President's visit. He told me that your father had married again but during these years, he has never forgotten your mother. So he asked Edward to try to find your mother and you while he was in China. But your father only knew the city where your grandparents had lived, not have an exact address. So Edward was directed to the Revolutionary Committee to seek further information. Your Aunt Hongjun didn't know much about your parents' story so she called me to meet with Edward. As you know, Edward wasn't alone. Two comrades from the Central Press Office accompanied him. Under the current political environment, I didn't dare say much or ask too many questions. I simply told them that your family had already moved away. Edward, your cousin, was about to leave China soon so he couldn't meet you two in person. He asked me to give you 200 yuan on his behalf. To be honest, if it weren't for that money, I probably wouldn't have told you this at all, fearing it might cause you more trouble. But your Grandma You and I both agreed that we must give it to you in person, That's why I insisted on coming here."
Li Weiwen stared blankly at You Tao, as if her mind couldn't quite grasp what he had just said. After a long pause, she asked in a dazed voice:
"Uncle Tao... what did you just say?"
"Your father sent someone to look for you." You Tao replied. Seeing that she was still frozen in disbelief, he added, "Your cousin said that he will try to get stationed in Hong Kong when he returns. Our country doesn't yet allow American media agencies to open offices here, but their newspaper has a branch in Hong Kong. If he has assigned there, he will have the opportunity to look for you and your mother again."
At last, Li Weiwen seemed to come back to herself. She bit her lips, her voice turning cold:
"He'd better not come looking for us. If it weren't for that America imperialist, my mother and I wouldn't have suffered all these years. Even if he does come, I will never see him. Since I have never met him before, there is no need to meet him now. And as you said, my father has already married again, why does he look for my mother again? Everyone should just live their own lives."
You Tao sighed deeply and said:
"Frankly speaking, this is what I think too. But I'm afraid that this might turn into a political matter later. It won't be as simple as you refusing to see him. Relations between the two countries seem to be thawing a little, but Americans still face many restrictions here. Once the higher authorities or the relative government department get involved, it may no longer be your choice to make."
Li Weiwen let out a cold laugh and said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."
You Tao tried to calm her down:
"My child, don't be angry! He only said like that. No one knows whether he will ever come back or not. I just wanted to tell you what happened. Let's set that matter aside for now and focus on what is right in front of us. Xue'er, I still hope you will let me take Lei'er with me. I have told you everything I think. Now you have to think it over clearly."
Li Weiwen wiped her tears from her face, lifted her head and stared steadily at You Tao:
"Uncle Tao, please don't tell my mother about this. It's inconvenient for her to speak of such things. And if anyone were to find out, it might worsen her sentence. In addition, that American has already married again. If she knew this, it would only sadden and wound her. She loved him so deeply.... hearing this would only break her heart."
You Tao looked at her with deep pity. He sighed and nodded helplessly. He said nothing more, turned around and quietly left the room and made his way to the dormitory that Company Commander Tian had arranged for him to rest in.
Early the next morning, before he could see Li Weiwen, You Tao happened to run into Commander Tian. Seizing the opportunity, he told him about his plan to take Li Xinyu and Guo Lei away. Commander Tian frowned slightly and said:
"I'm not entirely clear about this matter... but how will the children's household registration be transferred?"
You Tao replied:
"That's exactly where I will need your and Instructor Ren's help to issue a certificate for the two children. You see, Li Xinyu's mother has already given her life and has been posthumously recognized as a martyr. His father doesn't want him anymore. she was actually an orphan adopted by my mother as a granddaughter. As for Li Weiwen, she is only his aunt by marriage, not by blood. So it's only right and proper for me, as their uncle, to take responsibility for raising their children up. Li Weiwen is working hard here on the frontier, devoting herself fully to the border construction effort. You know how hard she works. She barely has time to look after two children. Being her uncle, it's my duty to help her by looking after her child. In doing so, I can also make my own small contribution to the border work."
Commander Tian thought for a moment and then said:
"I will have to discuss this with Instructor Ren. But from what you have said, it shouldn't be a big problem. Honestly, I'm not too familiar with the policy on this kind of thing. Here is what I will do. I will try to persuade Instructor Ren to issue the household transfer certificate. Frankly speaking, it isn't easy for Li Weiwen to raise two kids alone in a place like this. If they can leave, it will probably be better for them too. This damn place really isn't fit for people to live in."
You Tao chuckled softly and said:
"Commander Tian, you'd better be careful with your words. If a single sentence were overheard by someone with bad intention, you could easily become a target for the struggle session and end up with a political problem on your hands."
Commander Tian forced a bitter smile and said:
"To tell you the truth, I stopped caring a long time ago. In a place this godforsaken, what's there left to hope for?"
You Tao lowered his voice:
"Commander Tian, it sounds like you carry a lot of resentment."
Commander Tian gave a small, weary laugh, patted You Tao on the shoulder and said with a trace of self-mockery:
"Everything is subordinate to class struggle!"
With that, he turned and walked away.
When You Tao saw Li Weiwen, he noticed how pale she looked and her eyes were bloodshot, her expression listless. Still choking with emotion, she said:
"Uncle Tao, you're right. Life here is too hard for Lei'er. But... I really can't bear to part with him. He's the last bloodline of Yungang. If anything were to happen to him, I...I would never forgive myself. I would feel as if I had betrayed Yungang's trust. I would have no courage left to go on living. Uncle Tao, I'm scared."
Feeling her trembling shoulders, You Tao gently wrapped his arms around her, his voice soft with compassion:
"Xue'er, I promise you. I will make sure that Lei'er grows up healthy and strong. I have already asked Commander Tian to issue the certificate for the children, and I plan to stay in Jiu Quan for a few extra days to handle the paperwork for their household registrations. You don't need to worry about everything."
Tears streamed down Li Weiwen's face as she choked out:
"Uncle Tao, since you're taking both children back, please take the money with you. The kids will need it someday. I have no use for money here, and there is nothing for me to spend it on anyway."
You Tao hesitated for a long moment and then nodded slowly:
"All right, I will keep the money for the children. But you should hold onto these food ration coupons which can be used anywhere in whole country. They might be even more useful than cash."
Hearing the sounds of crying from Li Weiwen's room, Commander Tian watched the military truck leave, carrying the two children farther and farther down the dust road. He could do nothing but sigh and shake his head. Yet no one knew that by the time You Tao left Jiu Quan, he had only managed to get the official certificate for Li Xinyu. The one for Guo Lei had been denied. Even so, he decided to take the boy with him regardless.
After sending her children away, Li Weiwen later discovered not only the ration coupons but also fifty yuan hidden beneath her pillow. She spent the next three days lying in bed, unable to eat or speak. When she finally rose, her face was pale and drawn, yet she forced herself to go back to work.