Kageyama walked out of a train with a sly grin on his face. Behind him, tightly tied up and with some proper tape over his mouth was the white haired inspector. Said hostage was bruised and could only stumble weakly at his captor's slow pace. The ponytailed mage grinned as the people around him started to clear the way and soon he made it. He was with his guild at the place they accorded to meet.
"Man, Kageyama, for a second I was worried!" his boss, a man trying too hard to look like a grim reaper, cheered as he and the others stood by a large empty station with the leader at the top of some stairs.
Grinning from ear to ear, the shadow mage chuckled, "Wasn't easy, boss. The guy gave me some trouble and I even ran into some Fairy Tail bastards. I must say, though, the girls they got there are smoking! Shame I couldn't get one of them to come, but they wouldn't dare hurt their precious inspector here."
A dark guild member approached their captive, grinning wickedly, "Serves him right!" he punched the inspector in the gut, "Acting high and mighty in an office… Those fuckers at the council really piss me off!"
"Easy there, pal!" Kageyama waved his hands, "He's our precious hostage! We can't rough him up that badly! Did you try to hear me when I spoke? This one's Haru Alter, he's a cut above and beyond others."
"This is the guy everyone's talking about?" another asked curiously, "I pictured he'd be stronger looking…"
"Looks can be deceiving, for he uses an odd magic that requires him to speak." Kageyama falsely informed them, "I got lucky to sneak behind him and seal his yap before he could keep barking at me. Turns out he's a pussy so long as his mouth's shut. Hey, it's crazy, I know. But that's how I got us someone that the council would pay through their nose to have back."
His leader chuckled, "Kageyama, why do we need him, then?"
The shadow mage was confused and pulled out the flute, "But boss, isn't that a good idea? We could be set for life with this artifact and this guy. Think on how—"
"Did you forget our plan?!" the reaper wannabe barked.
"N-No!" Kageyama panicked, "But… all I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to have some money secured to celebrate once the plan's in motion, right?"
"You idiot! We aren't here for the money, we're going to make every single mage in those legal guilds suffer once we wipe out the pathetic sellouts that are their masters in that meeting!"
Kageyama's face then took a goofy smile as he chuckled warmly, "Boy, I didn't expect you Eisenwald mages to be so gullible, but I'm glad I was wrong!"
And with dual clouds of smoke, the roles were reversed. A very beaten up Kageyama was tied up, and it was the inspector who was holding Lullaby. Every mage of the dark guild gasped and readied themselves for battle. The inspector gulped when a blade was inches from his throat but kept a well-acted nervous smile as every mage moved to him. Their reaper-like leader flew to him with wind magic, his scythe on his neck.
One of the mages, though, noticed Kageyama struggling to speak, so he took off the tape over his mouth to hear him shout, "It's a trap!"
Before anyone could blink they were all accompanied by the Fairy Tail mages when they all jumped down around them after using Alter's disguise to infiltrate. Natsu cracked his knuckles as fire erupted from his palms, Lucy had a towering cow-like male humanoid with muscles over his muscles behind her, Gray's right arm was covered in ice, and Erza's sword was drawn. The inspector took a moment to stick a lollipop in his mouth, holding it with one hand like it was a cigarette.
Cornered, the Eisenwald mages were spoken to by Erza, "I am Erza Scarlet from Fairy Tail, and I ask for you to surrender peacefully so that we can avoid trouble. The real Lullaby is far away, and right this moment one of our own is flying far faster than you could hope to move. He is going to deliver the artifact to the right authorities. Now that you know your plans have failed, I recommend you do as told."
Watching how the reaper's face distorted into anger, shock and madness, Alter decided to push his buttons with seemingly innocent questions, "That's Erza-chan for you! I can't help but love the fact she's always so professional in moments like this. So, guys… could you move your swords? You're possibly going to give me a burn as if I had a bad shave or something."
Snapping, the reaper roared, "You… It's because of you! You'll die first!" he grabbed Alter by the throat and flew off with him, though he couldn't choke him. Alter was quick to grab the guy's wrist to keep him from reaching his neck, but he was still carried off into the air by the mad mage, "If they want to play with us, kill them all! I'll make this bastard suffer so much agony his ears will bleed from his own screaming!"
Having said his piece, the reaper flew off. Alter, keeping on his act, embraced himself for impact and hissed slightly when his back collided into a wall. The wind user crashed right through and kept breaking more with the inspector's back. Alter, however, was only letting his back get punished to get a fair distance away from the Fairy Tail mages and have Eisenwald's leader to himself.
When the reaper wannabe slammed the back of his head on the floor of the room he finally decided to stop at, Alter groaned, "They don't pay me… enough for this…" he chuckled and gave the mage a warm grin, "Anyway, how about we start over? Hi, name's Haru Alter, and I would like it very much if you took your hand off my face."
Roaring in mad anger, the dark guild's leader brought up his hand, which was enveloped with gales of wind that cut the air, "Shut up already!" he tried to strike the young man in the chest where there weren't too many organs in order to make his pain last. The last thing he expected was to have his head brutally slammed back to a point he feared his neck broke.
Getting up, Alter sighed tiredly as he reached into his head but found his hat gone, "I sure hope Lucy-chan or Erza-chan keep that hat safe…" he turned to the mage holding a bleeding, broken nose, and smiled in his perfectly acted cheerful way, "Now then, I believe I was trying to introduce myself. Hmm… yeah, I just told you my name, right?"
The wind mage groaned as he got up, watching in growing anger how the inspector crossed his arms with a thoughtful look on his happily smiling face, like he was a teacher talking to a kindergartener, "What of it?! It's not like I'll bother to put it on your grave!"
Ignoring him casually, Alter put his hands in his pants pockets and snickered as he widened his smile into a friendlier one, "Well, I am trying to be polite since I can't recall your name. Out of everyone in your guild, Kageyama-kun was the only one that could've escaped me if he was smart enough. Now, though, I'm not sure who's more bothersome, you or him."
Watching Alter shrug casually at his statement, the reaper flew at him with his scythe ready, and simply watched how Alter avoided the swing by leaning his body back, still shrugging, "You sack of fuck!" he got angrier, and his rage grew the more Alter easily dodged his strikes, "You destroyed everything we worked for, and now you're just playing with me!"
To make the man stop talking, Alter stepped forward and punched him faster than the eye could see, even skilled mages would have had trouble seeing his fist move into the wind user's stomach, "Please, calm down." He said with his goofy but well-meaning smile, "I'm just a guy who dislikes conflict and complicated things, you know? I like my life as it is, without having to worry about many things." He grabbed the reaper by the neck and beamed good naturedly, "And it's all because I worked hard to not have to stress myself. It's nice, to be honest. I can be me, as much as I can be, without any issue…"
"Why're you… telling me your life story…?" the mage gasped as he tried to break free.
Before he could use his scythe, Alter tightened his grip but made sure he still breathed so he heard him, "I'm giving you an idea of who I am. I have nothing to worry about so long as I deal with problems like you."
And thus, the white haired inspector's smile was the last thing the dark mage watched as an agony the likes he could never describe spread from the young inspector's hand to his body. Alter merely gave him a one-eyed smile as he saw the man's body vanish into nothingness without a single trace, devoured by his dark chakra. And through it all, he still kept his cheerful, goofy face on as he eliminated his worries.
A cloud of smoke later had another Alter appear, "Geesh, boss, bit overdramatic, don't you think?" he asked with a grin.
The real one shrugged, "What can I say? He was getting under my skin with that attitude. And his compadres had to ruin any and all plans I had of watching cute Lucy-chan in action. Well, I guess I can surprise her."
Seeing the key in his hands, the clone arched a brow, "Sure?"
"Yeah, we just need to make it look realistic…" he grabbed the dead man's scythe and handed it to his copy, "Just don't get anything important. I want to enjoy watching whatever these guys can do soon."
Grinning, the reaper returned and held his scythe, "Sure thing, boss."
With a single swing, the copy-reaper stabbed the inspector on the side, getting the weapon stuck in his ribs but without piercing his lungs, "Gah! Ugh…" Alter felt blood drip down his lips, but chuckled, "Yeah… it should look realistic now… Wow, it hurts, and quite a lot…"
His attacker grinned, "Good, now see if you can ask for help…"
Smiling through the pain, Alter held up the ram-themed key, "No worries, I know the cavalry's coming…"
With a twist, the beautiful pink-haired Aries appeared, and what she saw horrified her, "M-Mr. Alter!" she cried when the inspector held the reaper's scythe.
Chuckling despite his injury, the white haired man spoke firmly to her, "Sorry for this state of mine, Aries-chan, but I can't hold him for long…"
Nodding firmly, the girl turned to the reaper, who cringed, "Shit!" Using his own wind, he blasted a hole just as Aries was attacking. No one would have thought cotton could be dangerous unless they faced Aries and made her mad. Seeing the kind man that had taken her in, protected her key, and treated her like any woman would wish to be attended to, mad was an understatement.
So that was the scene that the Fairy Tail mages arrived to, the leader of the dark guild escaping, Alter bleeding with a scythe on his side, and a cute sheep girl protecting him.
Bizarre didn't even begin to describe it, but no one would ever know what the inspector was really capable of… unless he wanted them to.